"Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing." 1 Peter 3:8-9

Contents: Introduction Chapter 1 - The Pagan Origin of Wedding Traditions Chapter 2 - The Biblical Requirements for Marriage Chapter 3 - The Problem With Marriage Licenses Chapter 4 - Concerning Divorce and Remarriage Chapter 5 - Should Christians Date/Court Before Marriage? Chapter 6 - Frequently Asked Marriage Questions Chapter 7 - The Biblical Philosophy of Marriage

 

This book is intended for those who are born again through repentance (i.e. grief and godly sorrow of sin, (2Co 7:9-10) and faith (Rom 10:9) in the Lord Jesus Christ. For those who do not have the Holy Spirit, the things in this book may seem foolish to you (1Co 1:18), and I say this so that those who are of the world will not waste their time on this subject, as it is far more important that they hear the message of repentance (i.e. godly sorrow) and remission (i.e. forgiveness) of sins, and if you want to learn more about that, please read "Is Repentance Part of Salvation?" here at creationliberty.com.

And saying, The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent ye, and believe the gospel.
-Mark 1:15

And that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in his name among all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.
-Luke 24:47

In search of the truth of what the Word of God teaches on the subject of marriage, some readers may be surprised to learn that I have been condemned to hell, blacklisted, and railed against by churchgoers, pastors, and elders from a variety of sources. My wife and I have also lost many former friends and had family (even to this very day) scoff at us because we wanted to stay true to the Bible's doctrine on marriage. Why would I start out my book on marriage with such depressing statements? I say these things because I want to warn readers that if you learn the truth of what the Bible teaches on marriage, many of these things might happen to you as well, and I want you to know the price you might pay for standing firm on the Word of God on this matter.

Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.
-Matthew 5:11-12

But I would also tell you that the Lord God has richly blessed my wife and me because we have remained obedient to His Word. Please do not misunderstand, our marriage has not been flawless by any means, and as we will learn later, our marriage started out the opposite of most marriages, meaning that we had a very rocky start, but the Lord God has been very merciful to us, and been kind enough to give us His wisdom and understanding, by which our marriage has greatly improved, and we have grown closer with each passing year.

But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear: Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ.
-1 Peter 3:15-16

Is it not my purpose to cause division between families, but this is what will naturally happen if we choose Christ over the world, as Jesus taught:

Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division: For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three. The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
-Luke 12:51-53

Christ should be our first love, but if we love our families more than we love Him, we are not worthy of Him:

He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.
-Matthew 10:37-38

This is not because the Lord Jesus Christ loves division among family, but the truth and doctrine of God's Word is far more important than blood relation. Therefore it is better to trust in God, than to bend to pressures of men.

It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.
-Psalm 118:8

If you believe that marriage is holy and sacred to God, then I hope you will continue reading that you might learn the basic truths about marriage which I have almost never heard preached from the pulpits of American church buildings, and to those pastors who might condemn me before hearing me out, I would say that they are foolish and should be ashamed of themselves:

He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.
-Proverbs 18:13

Though there seems to be little debate among churchgoers concerning marriage, that is because they are so vested in religious traditions, they have lost sight of the basic understanding of God's Word. As we can see from countless examples in Scripture, people tend to have a hard time letting go of religious traditions, no matter how corrupt they are, and as we will soon learn, despite the fact that most churchgoers think marriage traditions come from Scripture, the reality is that many of the religious traditions surrounding marriage have come from paganism and witchcraft, which have been repackaged into a fluffier version by the Catholic Church, a corruption of Christian doctrine transformed into works-based heresy, by which no man can be saved.
(Read "Corruptions of Christianity: Catholicism" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.
-Ephesians 2:8-9

These pagan/Catholic traditions are commonly taught to pastors in their seminaries (i.e. so-called "Bible" colleges), and when they graduate, they come out and teach those same corrupt traditions to churchgoers. This is a long-standing problem, in which many generations have been corrupted by these seminary schools, training pastors to teach others to follow the traditions of men, which makes the preaching of God's Word ineffective.

Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye.
-Mark 7:13

The context of Mark 7:13 means that the Word of God becomes useless in situations where heavy emphasis is put on religious tradition, instead of on the commandments of Christ. As it has been throughout history, mankind tends to highly revere religious traditions because they believe performing special rituals will make them more righteous, but that is just a false appearance for show. The problem with religious tradition becomes even worse when those religious inventions of men are claimed to be "Christian," and thereby they deceive many. Specifically to the topic of this book, the religious wedding traditions become honored and revered, being placed on a high pedestal, and in the hearts of churchgoers, obedience and reverence to God's Word is tossed onto the dirty floor below.

Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy [a way of thinking] and vain deceit [useless lies], after the tradition of men, after the rudiments [first teachings] of the world, and not after Christ.
-Colossians 2:8

Sadly, due to the fact that respect of persons (i.e. to honor an office of station or title of a man, rather than judging the doctrine of a man) is so rampant among American church buildings, most churchgoers automatically refuse to believe that their pastor (who they secretly worship in their hearts) has been corrupted by the traditions of men. Because of this, they find it much easier to condemn me than to study the facts, which often results in railing, false accusations before they will listen. In many cases, I have been on the receiving end of a churchgoer's contentious attitude, in which I am accused of knowing nothing because I do not have a seminary degree, and such arguments are not only fallacious, but again, that is respecting persons in sin, because they are judging a matter based on someone's degree or office, and not judging based on the merits of someone's doctrine.

But if ye have respect to persons, ye commit sin, and are convinced of the law as transgressors.
-James 2:9
(Read "Respecting Persons Is Sin" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

One who judges a man first by whether or not he holds the title of a "pastor" is judging according to the appearance, and not judging righteous judgment.

Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
-John 7:24

Which also means that such people might claim to be of Christ, but their hearts are far from Him.

This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.
-Matthew 15:8-9
(Read "False Converts vs Eternal Security" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

I plead with readers to understand that these verses I am quoting are not in Scripture because God thought they would be something fun and entertaining to read on a daily devotional calendar, but rather, these verses are a direct rebuke against men (especially those who claim to have faith in God) who hold religious traditions in high regard in their hearts. Going to a church building and singing a lot of songs very passionately about Jesus Christ is hypocrisy and vanity when they highly esteem religious traditions, and by their actions, they prove they are far from God.
(Read "Why Millions of Believers on Jesus Are Going to Hell" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

Take thou away from me the noise of thy songs; for I will not hear the melody of thy viols. But let judgment run down as waters, and righteousness as a mighty stream.
-Amos 5:23-24

If we claim to be a disciple of Christ, then we should continue in His Word, not in religious tradition, and if we love Him, we should keep His commandments.

Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
-John 8:31-32

If ye love me, keep my commandments.
-John 14:15

We ought not to follow religious tradition blindly just to please other men, nor should we simply do that which seems right in our own eyes, but we should look to the Lord God for guidance in all spiritual matters.

There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.
-Proverbs 14:12

Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the LORD pondereth the hearts.
-Proverbs 21:2

And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.
-1 John 3:22

But as we were allowed of God to be put in trust with the gospel, even so we speak; not as pleasing men, but God, which trieth our hearts.
-1 Thessalonians 2:4

As of the turn of the 21st century, American society does not train a young girl how to one day become a dedicated wife and loving mother, but rather, she is trained to desire her glorious wedding day, in which she becomes an object of worship. Of course, this is not only due to religious traditions, but also due to the marketing of businesses that provide jewelry, dresses, hotels, cakes, limousines, and much more, because with religious tradition always comes polished material goods to provide viewers with a pleasant appearance to make them feel good, but I want readers to take a moment in thought and ask yourself:

Where did all these traditions come from?

Let's take this train of thought a step further and ask ourselves: Why is it religious tradition that a couple must be married in a church building? Where was that established? Where in the Bible does it teach that a pastor is required to marry a couple? How did marriage licenses get started, and how do they relate to Biblical marriage?

These are all things that we are taught to accept from the time we are little children, and most people go their entire lives and never once ask a very simple question: "Why?" They practice and execute the traditions, down to the very positions where they stand, the steps they take, the words they speak, every piece of food, every flower, every decoration, and never once express desire to understand the reason behind these things; following them strictly in willful blindness, so long as it gives them the feeling that was they are doing is sacred.

And he spake a parable unto them, Can the blind lead the blind? shall they not both fall into the ditch?
-Mark 6:39

Of course, many just do these things because it is what everyone else does, and it is all they have ever known, but I find it fascinating that, in America today, many young children have given this same excuse to their mothers, that "everyone else is doing it." And how does mom respond? "If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?"

This is a mother's reasoning with a child to get him/her to understand that he/she would not jump off a bridge to grave injury or death just because his/her friends were doing it. That is foolish and nonsensical, and yet, when it comes to weddings and marriage, they will jump off the bridge just because everyone else is doing it.

Thou shalt not follow a multitude to do evil; neither shalt thou speak in a cause to decline after many to wrest judgment:
-Exodus 23:2

When I can get into a reasonable conversation with a churchgoer, and I question them about the origins of wedding ceremonies, they often respond with a question, saying, "Isn't that in the Bible somewhere?" I can understand this because, as a young Christian, I also thought these things were listed somewhere in the Bible, but as I grew in understanding of God's Word through study (which Christians are supposed to do that they might show themselves approved by God, 2Ti 2:15), I slowly began to realize that almost NOTHING in the modern day wedding ceremonies is found in Scripture.

However, the core problem in most churchgoers and pastors is not ignorance, because ignorance is innocent and can be corrected. The real problem is WILLFUL ignorance, which comes from a source of pride in the heart, in which a man says in his heart, "I do not know the truth, and I DO NOT WANT to know the truth."

For those of us born again in Christ, we should work to bring every thought and imagination into captivity, bringing our minds and hearts into obedience unto Christ:

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
-2 Corinthians 10:5

And therefore, it is my hope that the Lord God, in His infinite mercy, might allow some who read this book to increase in understanding of His Word, and that you and your family would be blessed and sanctified (i.e. set apart for a holy use unto Christ) according to the truth, and that your marriages would benefit from this knowledge, living long, healthy, and prosperous lives together.

I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth. As thou hast sent me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world. And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth.
-John 17:14-19

 

Please do not misunderstand the title to this first chapter because I am in no way saying that weddings themselves are pagan in origin, but rather, the wedding traditions that are commonly celebrated today were established in witchcraft, not in the Bible. The reason you will not find modern-day wedding traditions in the Bible is because the Lord God has always hated witchcraft and paganism, and He does not establish traditions after the ways of heathen.

Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them.
-Jeremiah 10:2

heathen (n): a pagan; a Gentile; one who worships idols, or is unacquainted with the true God
(See 'heathen', American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 1828, retrieved Dec 12, 2019, [webstersdictionary1828.com])

Though such pagan religious traditions are widely accepted and highly esteemed among men, and though many claim those wedding traditions to be "Christian," it does not mean that God approves of them. Such pagan witchcraft traditions are an abomination in His sight, meaning that He hates those things with the utmost hatred:

And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God.
-Luke 16:15

One of the primary reasons for this is because when men begin focusing on religious tradition, they also begin to lift themselves up in the pride of their hearts, trusting in themselves to be good because they have performed the so-called "holy" rituals, which creates a false appearance of "righteousness."

As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one: There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God. They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.
-Romans 3:10-12

Before we cover specific examples, I want readers to understand that the Christian God of the Bible hates witchcraft, divination, charms, and any other such thing that follows the religious traditions of the pagans. The Lord God never used these things, nor did the Holy Ghost ever instruct the church to "reclaim them" or "restore them" for Christ (which is what many pastors might argue); rather, all throughout God's Word, He destroyed those religious traditions.

There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch,
-Deuteronomy 18:10
(To make one's "son or daughter to pass through the fire" is the practice of abortion; Read "Abortion: Paganism, Satanism, Sacrifices, and Witchcraft" here at creationlibety.com for more details.)

And they caused their sons and their daughters to pass through the fire, and used divination and enchantments, and sold themselves to do evil in the sight of the LORD, to provoke him to anger.
-2 Kings 17:17

As you can see, the practice of these pagan rituals brought God to anger, and sadly, most churchgoers today simply shrug at these verses, as if they have no fear of God, or concern for how He views the wicked things of this world. Worse still, many churchgoers also believe that, because Jesus went to the cross, now they are delivered and free to do the traditions of witches as they please, but they are willingly blind to the fact that the Jews in the Old Testament made the same excuse:

Will ye steal, murder, and commit adultery, and swear falsely, and burn incense unto Baal, and walk after other gods whom ye know not; And come and stand before me in this house, which is called by my name, and say, We are delivered to do all these abominations?
-Jeremiah 7:9-10

Both in the Old and New Testaments, paganism, idolatry, and witchcraft are condemned as sin, and therefore, for a churchgoer to say that they can "restore" sin and claim sin for God is willful ignorance and an excuse to justify themselves before men.

Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
-Galatians 5:19-21

Please do not misunderstand, just because you may have participated in wedding traditions in the past does not mean you are going to hell. We are not saved by works; we are saved by the blood of Christ through repentance (i.e. grief and godly sorrow of wrongdoing) and faith in Him, but that does not give us an excuse to remain living according to the idolatry and covetousness of the flesh.

What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? [i.e. that God's grace would have to come in great quantity to us] God forbid. [i.e. God commands us against doing such things] How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein? Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death? Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.
-Romans 6:1-4

Other churchgoers may argue that they did not carve out an idol with a face and hands, and bow down to worship it, so therefore, they argue that they are not guilty of idolatry. Once again, this is spoken in willful ignorance because if they believe bowing down to a statue is the limit of idolatry, then they do not understand what idolatry is, nor do they understand that God is looking at the idolatry in their hearts.
(Read "The Biblical Understanding of Idolatry" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

Therefore speak unto them, and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Every man of the house of Israel that setteth up his idols in his heart, and putteth the stumblingblock of his iniquity before his face, and cometh to the prophet; I the LORD will answer him that cometh according to the multitude of his idols; That I may take the house of Israel in their own heart, because they are all estranged from me through their idols.
-Ezekiel 14:4-5

In context, though the Jews may not have been setting up little figures with faces on them and bowing down to worship them, they did set up idols in their hearts, loving the things of this world, and ignoring the Word of God. The idolatry of the heart is similar to when Jesus talked about the adultery of the heart, in which looking and lusting was the same as doing the deed itself.

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
-Matthew 5:28

Thus, most modern-day churchgoers are idolaters in their hearts because they have looked to tradition, rather than looking towards the Lord Jesus Christ, and although the typical wedding traditions I am about to list out are based on paganism and witchcraft, churchgoers typically do everything they can to justify them, rather than sanctify themselves from them.

And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
-1 Thessalonians 5:23

WEDDING RINGS/BANDS

Today, wedding rings are likely the most iconic of marriage symbols used in our society, and they are so widely accepted among churchgoers to be a foundation of marriage, churchgoers will condemn Christians if they are married and do not have them. My question is: Who decided that? How did it come about that a piece of metal around one's finger was to be a symbol of husband and wife? If we take away the emotion, it is a very awkward thing to associate shaped metal with an abstract concept, like love, justice, or reason, and furthermore, there is no Biblical justification to use jewelry as a symbol (or reminder) of a promise.

In the Bible's historical accounts, rings were used in various societies as a symbol of authority, just as the Egyptians did:

And Pharaoh took off his ring from his hand, and put it upon Joseph's hand, and arrayed him in vestures of fine linen, and put a gold chain about his neck;
-Genesis 41:42

However, the use of rings was never associated with marriage in Scripture; meaning that such a tradition was not recorded at all, let alone being used in a religious sense as a part of a wedding. Please do not misunderstand, I am not in any way saying that it is wrong to present a gift to your spouse (i.e. your wife or husband), nor am I saying that jewelry is a sin (as some religious extremists argue). I want Christians to understand that it is the heathen (i.e. the pagans, witches, druids, etc) who seek after the things (e.g. jewelry) made of silver and gold, and sadly, most churchgoers have followed after the example of the heathen, despite the fact that Christ taught us not to put emphasis on such vain things.

The idols of the heathen are silver and gold, the work of men's hands.
-Psalm 135:15

A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold.
-Proverbs 22:1

Wedding bands are most often trinkets of vanity and pride, by which couples believe themselves to be holy, righteous, and true because they wear a piece of metal on their finger, rather than looking to the good works of God from a pure heart, to have a good name and loving favor with Christ, and allowing His righteousness to be the symbol of a good marriage. After having discussions with various churchgoers over many years of teaching on this subject, I find that men tend to have a lot less problem with this than women, meaning that women have responded to these things with a lot more maliciousness than men do, and that is most often because they are desperately defending their first love, which are the vain trinkets of this world.

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
-1 John 2:15

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
-1 Timothy 2:9-10

Most readers will be quite familiar with wedding rings, especially engagement rings, which is a ring traditionally given to a woman when asking for her hand in marriage, and I want you to ask yourself: Do you believe that the average engagement ring would be considered "modest apparel?" I am not saying that it is wrong for a bride to make herself beautiful for the sake of her groom, but when was the last time you saw a woman act humbly when showing off her engagement ring? In fact, the typical expectation is that the more expensive the ring, the more care a man has for a woman, which is, to put it mildly, vain on the giving side, and covetous on the receiving side. That pride blinds couples to the truth about their vain traditions, which is likely one of the many reasons why, in the 21st century, between 40-60% of U.S. marriages end in divorce.

(See Henry F. Lewis, "Divorce Statistics in the United States and California," Gardner & Lewis, LLP, retrieved Dec 16, 2019, [michaelagardner.net/blog/2018/10/09/divorce-statistics-in-the-united-193973])

What men and women (especially churchgoers) need to understand is that they did NOT get weddings rings because of any commandment or tradition established for us by the Lord Jesus Christ. They also did not get wedding rings because it was an idea they came up with that they thought would be good or fun. Rather, the reason they got wedding rings is because they were taught to get them; it is a tradition that was preached unto them by pastors and advertised to them by businesses, and they blindly followed that tradition without a second thought, but what most churchgoers today are completely (and willingly) blind to is the fact that these traditions pastors are handing down to churchgoers is one that came from the Catholic Church, who adopted them from pagans and witches.
The following author rightly points out:
"Catholicism adopted the use of rings from the pagan world, and during the Middle Ages, it became customary for a bishop to receive a ring as part of the ceremony of consecration... Engagement rings in the Catholic Church have been given since inception as was adopted from ancient pagan times. One type, set with a diamond became popular in the 15th century. The wearing of wedding rings is also an ancient pagan tradition, and the gold band has been popular since the 16th century. In Western society today, a married woman often wears both an engagement ring and a wedding band, and a married man often wears a wedding band. This pagan tradition has been legitimised in the [Catholic] church by the Papal [Pope], who sees the ring as having a mysterious power that binds people to oaths they take."
-Dong Gadu, The Church in the End Time: Conflict Between Truth and Falsehood, AuthorHouse, 2006, p. 46, ISBN: 9781420823639

Earlier, I pointed out that it made no sense to believe a piece of metal around one's finger should be a representation of a marriage, and in this case, the piece of metal around the finger is supposed to somehow reinforce an oath. That idea contradicts what Jesus taught us:

Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths: But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God's throne: Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King. Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black. But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.
-Matthew 5:33-37

I will cover the problem with the oaths in the next chapter, but for now, I want to focus on the rings being used as a symbol of someone's promise. In the Bible, speaking your word that you will do something is called a "promise," and despite what the world teaches, you do not have to say "I promise I will do this" in order for it to be a promise because simply saying that you will do it IS a promise, just as in Scripture, God never said "I promise I will do this," but His Word to perform an action is still called a promise.

promise (n): a declaration, written or verbal, made by one person to another
(See 'promise', American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 1828, retrieved Dec 19, 2019, [webstersdictionary1828.com])

Now I say that Jesus Christ was a minister of the circumcision for the truth of God, to confirm the promises made unto the fathers:
-Romans 15:8

So when a man gives his word, an affirmation that he will do something, that is his promise. However, if that man does not keep his word, the Bible has another term for that, and it is called a "lie," and God has made it very clear in His Word that He hates liars.
(Read "God Does Not Justify Lies" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
-Proverbs 6:16-19

So if a woman says, "Yes, I will do this," and she does not do the thing she said she would do, she is found to be a liar, and she should come to repentance (i.e. grief and godly sorrow of wrongdoing). If she gives her word to a man to be his wife, and she says "Yes" in agreement to be his wife, then she has made a promise, and to add anything else to that promise (e.g. wedding bands) is evil because it adds to your "Yea" or "Nay" (i.e. your "Yes" or "No"), which is why He said, "let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil."

Essentially, the wedding rings are no better than a "pinky swear," which is where two people promise each other to do something, and they hold out their pinky fingers to interlock them together in a sort of handshake. The "pinky swear" is all for show because it does not have any mysterious power to bind people to their word, and likewise, a wedding ring is all for show because it does not have any mysterious power to bind people to their word, but that is exactly what witches and pagans believe.

Most of the religious traditions we see in today's typical church buildings came from the wicked Catholic Church. For example, Christmas and Easter are completely pagan in origin and design; they have nothing to do with the Lord Jesus Christ, and most churchgoers sit in willful ignorance about these pagan religious traditions that were never adopted by the New Testament church. Likewise, by the absence of anything in Scripture about wedding rings, we can see that the tradition was not ordained by God, otherwise He would have informed us of it in His Word, but rather, the traditions were ordained by witches, as the following pagan author testifies:
"The wedding ring also has its origin in pagan times. According to the ancient Greeks, Prometheus [a titan who was said to have created mankind] made the first wedding band out of smelted metal for strength and endurance. The unbroken circle was believed to signify the harmony of marriage... Modern-day adaptations of the many pagan rites have become big business! Photographers, jewelers, musicians, and florists have all prospered from ancient customs."
-Abigail Kirsch, The Bride and Groom's First Cookbook, Doubleday, 1996, p. 4, ISBN: 9780385476355

Again, we cannot find these traditions, rituals, and symbols in Scripture, but we can find many examples of them from pagan sources. This is because the traditions originated from pagans. The following author was a Catholic school teacher for 18 years, who now works as a popular medium/psychic (i.e. mediums and psychics practice divination, necromancy, and sorcery, all of which are abominations in the sight of God), and she explains more details of the pagan superstition:
"Our world is filled with pagan symbols—take, for example, the wedding band. It was believed that if bad luck came to a married couple, it would get trapped in a circle (the ring), and it would just stay there, running in a circle for eternity."
-Sylvia Browne, Secrets and Mysteries of the Word, Hay House Inc, 2006, p. 4, ISBN: 9781401922504

Then Paul stood in the midst of Mars' hill, and said, Ye men of Athens, I perceive that in all things ye are too superstitious.
-Acts 17:22

superstitious (adj): full of idle [useless] fancies [imaginations] and scruples [doubts] in regard to religion
(See 'superstitious', American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 1828, retrieved Oct 2, 2018, [webstersdictionary1828.com])

As we are about to see, almost all of the modern-day wedding traditions, even in variations from cultures around the world, are steeped in pagan superstitions. As we just read, the wedding rings were originally designed as a call upon the pagan belief in "luck," which is a concept of devils by which nothing is ordained of God, and instead, they believe things all happen by random chance; thus, the pagans call upon the gods and goddesses of "luck" to bring themselves favor and blessing.

The following author is a witch who points out that pagan rituals can also call for astrological birthstones to be placed in the rings to give them more specific magical properties:
"There are several ring choices besides the traditional engagement ring and wedding band that you see most often today. Read the following suggestions for different types of precious and semiprecious stones that you could incorporate into your engagement ring, wedding band, necklace, bracelet, or anklet, given here with their magickal properties."
-Kendra V. Hovey, Passages Handfasting: A Pagan Guide to Commitment Rituals, Adams Media, 2007, p. 145, ISBN: 9781440516368

The concept of birthstones implements the pagan practice of astrology:

astrology (n): the study of the movements and relative positions of celestial bodies interpreted as having an influence on human affairs and the natural world
(See 'astrology', Random House Dictionary, 2020, [dictionary.com]; See also Collins English Dictionary, 10th Edition, William Collins Sons & Co, 2012)

Astrology is another form of witchcraft. Whether it is the pagan "signs" (e.g. Capicorn, Aquarius, Taurus, etc) or the birthstones, we Christians have no Biblical justification to follow after such pagan traditions.

Wedding rings are also highly esteemed in many witch covens for the purpose of casting spells because they believe those rings have special magical properties:
"In most cases, watches and random jewelry should be removed before practicing magick... Wedding rings are worn during the practice of magick, as they are considered sacred and blessed."
-Aislin, Ashling Wicca: Book 1, Lulu.com, 2012, p. 111, ISBN: 9781105350108

From this perspective, we can now begin to see why people started using wedding rings, and it had nothing to do with marriage, but rather, it had everything to do with unholy witchcraft. Not only is the concept of the wedding ring pagan in origin, but the fact that people put the ring on the "ring finger" is founded in something called "palmistry," which is used by many psychics and mediums today to do "palm reading," and the following image will help explain that in more detail:
The reason men and women are instructed to put their wedding bands on their "ring finger" because that is the "line of the sun," which is part of worship and superstition of the pagan sun god:
"Palmistry's history goes back to Aristotle and the ancient Greeks. It is an ancient science inspired by alchemy, astronomy and magick. In palmistry, the ring finger relates to matters of the heart and is ruled by the god Apollo [the sun god]. It was once thought a large vein passed from the third finger straight to this mighty organ, kind of like an internal power cord. The left hand being slightly closer than the right, made it the most direct route to the heart."
-Michelle C. Bond, "The Urban Shaman - 8 Modern Wedding Practices Which Originated from Pagan Beliefs," Pagan Edge Magazine, retrieved Aug 12, 2013, [www.paganedge.com]

Because your heart is on the left side of your body, the wedding ring is supposed to go on your left hand ring finger, and the line is supposed channel mystic energies from your heart and send it into the ring. (Such a thing is obviuosly ridiculous, but that's paganism.) To provide another testimony, the following witch has practiced palmistry for over four decades:
"There are four mounts at the base of the fingers. Mount of Jupiter under the Index finger, Mount of Saturn under the middle finger, Mount of Apollo or Sun under the ring finger, Mount of Mercury under the little finger."
-Dayanand Ambawade, All the Secrets of Palmistry: For Profession and Popularity, Diamond Pocket Books, 2015, ISBN: 9788128822735

Question: Is there any place in the Bible that mentions the "ring finger" being holy and sacred unto God? The answer is "No." If it is not found anywhere in Scripture, but it is found many places in pagan lore, what should we conclude? Should we conclude that the absence of wedding rings in the Bible is all a conspiracy of the Devil, and Christians should "reclaim" them for God? Or, should we conclude that the wedding traditions were invented by the Devil, and Christians should have nothing to do with it?

Of course, some churchgoers would claim there is a third option I did not mention, and that is to be indifferent to them. If any readers choose to ride the fence on this matter, that is their business; I am not here to force anyone to live any particular way, but what I am doing is pointing out the origin of these things, and comparing those things to God's Word.

Wherefore, my dearly beloved, flee from idolatry.
-1 Corinthians 10:14

Notice that this verse did not say, "Have no concern about idolatry," or "Reclaim idolatry for Jesus," or "Participate in idolatry in moderation," but rather, it said FLEE from it, which is to run quickly away from danger.

flee (v): to run with rapidity, as from danger; to attempt to escape; to hasten from danger or expected evil
(See 'flee', American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 1828, retrieved Jan 15, 2020, [webstersdictionary1828.com])

It is a shame that I find pagans and witches MORE educated about their false religious beliefs, than churchgoers are about Scripture, and instead of sanctifying themselves from superstitious rituals of witchcraft, most churchgoers just make excuses to justify the idolatrous practices. Often, the correction unto the right ways of God is a point of grief for them, and so they reject that correction.

Correction is grievous unto him that forsaketh the way: and he that hateth reproof shall die.
-Proverbs 15:10

If any Christians reading this have conviction on this matter and choose to put their wedding rings away, that is between you and the Lord God. However, whether you decide to do that or not, we need to stop putting our trust in the silly pagan superstitions and the corrupt religious traditions of men. Examine yourselves to make sure that you are not given over to the vain philosophies and deceitful lusts of this world, and be transformed and renewed in your mind through Christ, to know the perfect will of God.

Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?
-2 Corinthians 13:5

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
-Romans 12:2

BRIDAL BOUQUETS

Please do not misunderstand; flowers themselves are not evil by any means because flowers do not make moral choices, but why did this particular tradition become a staple of the marriage ceremony? When did it become expected for the ceremonial bride to hold a flower bouquet? The group of flowers the bride holds was NOT started because of their beauty, but as a collection of specific flowers and herbs that were said to hold magical properties, give special "luck," and invoke superstitions that were supposed to ward off evil spirits. In short, this is another tradition of witchcraft that was adopted by the Catholic Church, which was in turn adopted by church buildings everywhere.

We cannot find this wedding tradition in Scripture, and therefore, we need to look at where it came from. The following pagan author rightly points out:
"The origin of the bridal bouquet goes all the way back to the ancient belief that strong-smelling spices and herbs would prevent evil spirits from ruining things. Her bridesmaids often follow suit, and even the flower girls have a specific role to shower all of the guests with petals from the chosen variety of flower. As Pagans, we are not limited to the colors, smells, and magickal uses of flowers. We can also incorporate the colors, smells and magickal uses of herbs. You are free to use traditional flowers, magickal herbs, or a combination of the two for a spectacular display of fragrance, color, and magick."
-Kendra V. Hovey, Passages Handfasting: A Pagan Guide to Commitment Rituals, Adams Media, 2007, p. 153, ISBN: 9781440516368

While researching the origin of the bridal bouquet, I discovered that most sources would simply give their best guess (without any evidence) because many authors just do not know. In most cases, the argument was made that the flowers masked the stench of body odor because, in their willful ignorance, many authors seem to believe that soap and fragrant oils did not exist in previous centuries, which is absurd.
(Read "Does the Bible Teach Sanitation Practices?" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

After I first published this information, I had a lot of women quickly object, claiming that they only had a flower bouquet because it was pretty, and of course, it seems reasonable on the surface. However, if you stop and consider the matter, the question we have to ask is this: Did the bride decide to have a bouquet of flowers in her hands as she walked down the aisle because it was HER idea to have that, OR did she pick up a bridal bouquet because it was religiously TRADITIONAL to have one?

The woman did not wake up one morning and have a feeling like she wanted a bouquet of flowers to hold because she thought it would look pretty, and if a woman claims that is the case, she is only deceiving herself. She picked up that bouquet because she expected to have it from when she was a little girl, being taught these things by example, and never once even questioning whether or not this was the right thing to do. So, let's be honest with ourselves; it was done solely because it was tradition.

And again, the tradition came from witchcraft. The flower arrangement was originally selected for its fertility properties, or in other words, it is a charm supposedly used to bring down blessings from the pagan gods and goddesses of witchcraft:
"The ancients carried bouquets of herbs for several reasons... bridal bouquets were also part of pagan fertility rituals. In addition, many bouquets were designed to keep evil spirits at bay. Chives and garlic, being thought most advantageous for this purpose, were commonly found in bridal bouquets."
-Kristina Seleshanko, Carry Me Over the Threshold, Zondervan, 2009, p. 29, ISBN: 9780310861256

In addition, the tradition of having a "flower girl" to spread out rose petals down the aisle of a typical wedding ceremony was taken from the Wiccan ceremony of casting spells in a magic circle known as "the rite of handfasting:" "Starting at the eastern-most point of where the circle will be cast, the Flower Girls (Maidens) each stand with a basket of rose petals... The rose petals are a symbol of our Lady and the Flower Maidens a symbol of youth... When all is ready, the groom rings a bell, opens the book containing the wedding vows, and lights a candle to announce the beginning of the rite." -A.J. Drew, Wicca for Couples: Making Magick Together, Career Press, 2002, p. 126, ISBN: 9781564146205; Drew has authored many books on Wicca and hosts the annual Real Witches Ball for PaganNation.com.

Many of these traditions should be relatively familiar to most Americans, as they see them all the time in their traditional wedding ceremonies. Sadly, because most churchgoers are in complete denial of the truth, they prefer to cover their eyes and ears, and simply believe that pagans stole these traditions from well-meaning Christians, while some foolish pastors teach such lies to help give everyone a justification for their traditions, but the fact is that church organizations around the world adopted these things from the antichrist Catholic Church, who adopted them from witches in effort to appease the pagans and create more converts to Roman Catholicism.
In the above image, it is quite difficult to tell these different weddings apart from each other; can you tell the difference between which ones are supposedly "Christian" ceremonies, and which ones are pagan? In fact, I would encourage readers to go look up pictures of weddings in other false religions, like Mormonism or Jehovah's Witnesses, and you discover that you cannot tell them apart from the traditional ceremonies of so-called "Christian churches," and though you will sometimes find some drastically different ceremonies, for the majority, it would be difficult to tell them apart, or to know what specific religious belief they hold without doing further investigation.

Pagans believe the flowers are a symbol of fertility:
"The couple would either be carried by their [witch] coven members or would ride in a small cart, pulled by the coveners, a pony, or even a goat. Flowers, a sign of fertility, would be plentiful both on the cart, carried by the processioners, and strewn along the way. The procession will end up at the site of the Wiccan Circle."
-Raymond Buckland, Wicca for Life: The Way of the Craft -- From Birth to Summerland, Citadel Press, 2003, p. 159, ISBN: 9780806524559; Buckland has authored many books on witchcraft, and speaks internationally on the subject.

It's sad that, while most churchgoers refuse to hear the truth, at least the Universal Life Church, a corrupt ecumenical organization that attempts to fuse together pagan religions from all over the world, are more honest about the subject:
"Colors have great symbolism in paganism, with slightly different meanings from one faith to another... Dress should be elegant, but comfortable, made of natural fibers. It is perfectly acceptable to dress in the romantic styles of former times, to create a fairytale atmosphere... Choose colors to match the season, or that traditionally mean new beginnings, such as white or green. Careful research is necessary here. For example, it is bad luck to wear green at an Irish wedding, particularly for the bride. You may need incense and anointing oils in appropriate scents, candles in appropriate colors, and some kind of beautiful cord, ribbon or tie if you are planning on a handfasting ritual."
-Universal Life Church, "Wedding Officiant Training: How to Perform a Pagan Wedding," retrieved Oct 3, 2018, [ulcweddingofficiants.com/officiant-training/how-to-perform-a-pagan-wedding]

Even the petals from the flowers correspond to astrological signs, which is another reason the bouquets were significant for the pagans:
"Consider using petals from flowers that correspond to the bride's and groom's astrological signs... Those flowers mingling and falling to the ground together as a symbol of the union being marked."
-A.J. Drew, A Wiccan Bible: Exploring the Mysteries of the Craft from Birth to Summerland, Career Press, 2003, p. 128, ISBN: 9781564146663; Drew has authored many books on Wicca and hosts the annual Real Witches Ball for PaganNation.com.

Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them.
-Jeremiah 10:2

Many churchgoers, who claim to be of Christ, should be embarrassed by the ridiculous excuses they make, while pagans and other heretics are far more honest about wedding traditions, but to me, this is no surprise because, in my experience, I have seen more honesty coming from witches than I have seen coming from those who profess themselves to be "Christians." I am not saying that anyone who has done this tradition in the past is going to hell, but what I am saying is that it is about time that Christians took the responsibility to be honest with the Lord God and with themselves, and that we ought to confess the truth about these things.

TOSSING BOUQUETS AND GARTERS

It is common tradition today for the bride to throw her bouquet of flowers/herbs over her shoulder to a group of onlookers eager to take it. It is very often portrayed in weddings in media as well. The pagan superstition of giving luck to the next person to be married or "fall in love" is attached to this tradition, as well as the groom's throwing of the garter, all of which have pagan roots: "The pagan bride used to take a bouquet of herbs and garlic with her to the new home; she'd set it on fire and smoke out any evil spirits that might be lingering, then she'd toss the charred bouquet outside." -Tess Ayers & Paul Brown, The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings, 3rd Edition, Workman Publishing, p. 250, ISBN: 9781615191512

The burning of certain flowers and herbs are pagan luck charms to ward off evil spirits. This tradition evolved into the familiar tossing-over-the-shoulder tradition after it was adopted by the Roman Catholic Church.

It should be noted that not all pagan rituals are the same, and one may be slightly different from another based on personal preferences or beliefs. Also, many pagans might participate in the same tradition, but have different reasons for doing it. However, they all stem from the source of witchcraft:
"The modern tradition of throwing the bridal bouquet to determine who will be the next to marry has its roots in pagan ritual from antiquity [ancient past]. The Roman bride wore a sort of woolen belt or cummerbund called a girdle... that was removed by her new husband at the conclusion of the wedding ceremony. By the 17th century, brides festooned their wedding dresses with ribbons, lace, silk belts around the waist and all sorts of pen cases, knives and purses. Wedding guests scrambled to strip the hapless bride of these trophies, sometimes tearing her garters off her legs in front of the altar. The groom fared little better, since he, too, wore stockings and garters. It was to reduce this trophy hunting that the bride began to throw her bridal bouquet and the groom tossed a garter to the guests."
-Orange Coast Magazine, Vol. 13, No. 6, June 1987, p. 160, ISSN 0279-0483

This is not to say that such aggressive or violent acts are done today in most weddings, but the fact is that such practices were only toned down to a more "Christian-like" practice, that portrayed a more gentle appearance, and yet, it still does not make any sense as to why any Christian would adopt even the vague form of such a practice. Let's suppose that there was a wedding tradition in which the audience urinated on the bride for "good luck," why would anyone think it would be sensible to adopt that tradition by simply changing urine to lemon juice and doing the same thing?

Furthermore, the origins of these rituals were sometimes indecent, and there is no place in Scripture that God instructs or encourages His children to adopt the indecent practices of heathen:

Let all things be done decently and in order.
-1 Corinthians 14:40

decent (adj): fit and suitable in words, behavior, dress and ceremony; comely, not immodest
(See 'decent', American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 1828, retrieved Nov 1, 2018, [webstersdictionary1828.com])

Does ripping clothes off the bride and groom sound like something the Lord Jesus Christ would be pleased with? Obviously not, so why would any Christian adopt the generic versions of such a practice?

For women, a garter is an elastic band that is worn around the waist, and is strapped to stockings on her legs to help hold them up. Of course, stripping an entire garter off of a woman is quite difficult, and so today, they make a "wedding garter," which is essentially an elastic band that just fits around the upper part of a woman's leg for no reason except for her husband to reach up her dress and take it off of her after a wedding ceremony.

In what manner would any Christian believe that it was decent for a man to be lifting up his wife's dress in front of all his guests? It does not stop there because I have seen supposedly "Christian" weddings in which a man would put his head up the woman's dress and pull it off of her with his teeth; is that something Christians believe should be exhibited to the children who are watching?

However, churchgoers typically ignore these facts and continue participating in these traditions without ever questioning them. They cling to their worldly traditions, adjusting witchcraft rituals to their personal preferences, and claiming they are "delivered" by Jesus to be able to freely do all these abominations, but are willingly ignorant that the Jews made the exact same excuses for their corrupt traditions:

Behold, ye trust in lying words, that cannot profit. Will ye steal, murder, and commit adultery, and swear falsely, and burn incense unto Baal, and walk after other gods whom ye know not; And come and stand before me in this house, which is called by my name, and say, We are delivered to do all these abominations?
-Jeremiah 7:8-10

The Jews had adopted the traditions of the pagans, and fused them together with the traditions God set them to do. There is no philosophical difference between the rebellious and uncaring attitude of the Jews in Jeremiah, and the churchgoers of America today; pagan tradition is highly revered, and those who question it are often shunned.

In witchcraft, there are many magic spells witches invoke by throwing things over the shoulder, and Wiccans are very familiar with it. If you have ever heard of tossing salt over one's shoulder for good luck, that is a more simple magic spell, and in similar fashion, that is why a bride is directed to toss her wedding bouquet over her shoulder.
(See Aldora Dawn: The Kitchen Witch, "Folklore & Old Wives Tales" retrieved Nov 1, 2018, [kitchenwiccan.com/whats-brewing/superstitions]; See also Sirona Knight, Wiccan Spell a Night: 365 Spells, Charms, And Potions for the Whole Year, Citadel Press, 2006, p. 287-288, ISBN: 9780806527260

The following author points out the luck-based concept:
"In the fourteenth century, when bedding the bride was a popular custom, the unmarried men taking part in the tradition tried to snatch the bride's garter for good luck. It's believed that brides, not enjoying this manhandling, began removing their garters and flinging them at the crowd, resulting in the tradition of the garter toss. Some historians also believe that during these bedding ceremonies, unmarried women started stealing the bride's stockings in hopes of having some of the bride's good luck rub off on them. Once again, it's believed the bride preferred to remove her own clothing and started throwing her stockings at the crowd. Later, when bedding became socially unacceptable, brides tossed their bouquets to the crowd instead."
-Kristina Selshanko, Carry Me Over the Threshold, Zondervan, 2009, p. 54, ISBN: 9780310861256

In summary, the pagan gods bless the bride with luck and fertility if she tosses these things over her shoulder, and in order gain some of her "luck," the man takes the garter. The other guests who obtain these items believe that her "luck" and "fertility blessings" will transfer to them if they touch these "magical" wedding items, and even though most wedding participants do not say these things out loud, they do hold such beliefs in their hearts. (After all, why would they try so hard to catch the bouquet and garter if they were not superstitious?)

Churchgoers tend to operate based on how something is perceived by society, rather than looking to how the Lord God views a matter. For example, if a pastor took chalk, drew a magic circle with a pentagram, and burned incense for a wedding ceremony, most churchgoers would frown upon that, but if you change up the same core practices of witchcraft to involve catching flowers, now they do not frown upon it anymore, and that is because they are not judging righteous judgment.

Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
-John 7:24

They are judging whether something makes them feel good in their own eyes and in their own hearts, believing that their wedding rituals make them holy and righteous, but in truth, they reject the Word of God:

And it shall be unto you for a fringe, that ye may look upon it, and remember all the commandments of the LORD, and do them; and that ye seek not after your own heart and your own eyes, after which ye use to go a whoring:
-Numbers 15:39

Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.
-Proverbs 3:7

And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God.
-Luke 16:15

WEDDING BELLS

Most churchgoers believe that wedding bells were originally rung because of church bells, but again, they are assuming what they want to be true instead of looking for the truth. The chiming of bells to signal a marriage has long been the tradition of pagans, and they still do it to this day:
"A consecrated brass or crystal bell is often used by Witches to signal the beginning and/or close of a ritual or Sabbat, to summon a particular spirit or deity, and to awaken meditating coven members. Bells are also rung at many Wiccan funeral rites to bless the soul of the Witch who has crossed over to the realm of the dead."
-Gerina Dunwich, Wicca Craft: The Modern Witches Book of Herbs, Magick and Dreams, Citadel Press, 1991, p. 39, ISBN: 9780806512389; Dunwich is a Wiccan high priestess, has authored many books on witchcraft, and is highly revered by the pagan community.

Again, there is no place in Scripture where the use of bells for wedding ceremonies was ever established; therefore, the only other religious source for such a tradition would come from paganism. The same witch author goes on to point out how pagans typically run their wedding ceremonies:
"Cast a circle in a clockwise direction using an athame or ceremonial sword, and after each guest has been blessed with greetings and incense, ring the altar bell to signal the start of the ceremony."
-Gerina Dunwich, Wicca Craft: The Modern Witches Book of Herbs, Magick and Dreams, Citadel Press, 1991, p. 39, ISBN: 9780806512389

There are other pagan authors who verify the same thing for the traditional pagan wedding ceremony, and from their corrupt religious perspective, the interpretation of the bells makes sense, but from a Biblical perspective, this does not make any sense. It is not as if someone woke up one day and thought, "I'm going to use bells in my wedding," and another person saw it and said, "I like that, I think I'll do it too," even though that is how most pastors and churchgoers like to imagine things happened; rather, this was a ritual initiated by paganism that got institutionalized by the Catholic Church.
(See Raymond Buckland, Wicca for Life: The Way of the Craft, Citadel Press, 2003, p. 160, ISBN: 9780806524559)

THROWING RICE

Earlier, we covered the pagan superstition of throwing things over the shoulder for luck in witchcraft. The wedding tradition of throwing rice is a basic spell in paganism:
"[H]ow often have you seen people toss spilled salt over their shoulder without a second thought? That practice comes from a superstition that tossing spilled salt over your shoulder keeps evil away, and it gives the Kitchen Witch food for thought: Why not use salt (a common table condiment) as part of her magick for protection?"
-Marian Singer & Trish MacGregor, The Only Book of Wiccan Spells You'll Ever Need, Adams Media, p. 94, ISBN: 9781440542763

Again, I hope readers do not misunderstand what I am saying; the tossing of rice is not inherently evil, otherwise, God might punish people for playing cornhole (a yard game involving bags of rice), which is a ridiculous thought. However, the purpose of throwing rice is to cast a magic spell that is intended to increase a couple's "luck," and that is a religious invention of the Devil, so why would any Christian want to replicate the demonic practices of witches?

I understand that a lot of people now throw seeds so it is better for the birds, but it does not matter if you replace it with seeds or nuts of any kind, the tradition originated from pagan witchcraft in hopes to increase luck and fertility:
"Throwing rice at the couple after the wedding ceremony signifies prosperity and good luck. Italians traditionally toss sugared almonds, which are a symbol of fertility. Sometimes sugared almonds appear in the net bags on the wedding table as tokens for guests in Mediterranean countries. In the United States, wedding guests may throw small bird seed, dried flower petals, or paper confetti... Confetti is linked to the pagan tradition of throwing grain over a couple as a symbol of fertility."
-Sex and Society, Marshall Cavendish Co, Vol. 3, 2010, p. 895, ISBN: 9780761479055

The following is a rare Catholic author who acknowledges that these wedding traditions have been adopted by the Catholic Church from paganism:

"All too frequently, even faithful church members sit through a wedding as if they have forgotten all the responses and songs, participating as spectators at a show, rather than as members of a worshipping community. And much concern is shown for such superstitions as starting the wedding on the half-hour (for good luck) and not seeing

the bride before the wedding and throwing rice on the couple (an old pagan fertility symbol), none of which can claim a proper place in Christian [i.e. Catholic] liturgy."
-Lawrence E. Mick, Understanding the Sacraments Today, Liturgical Press, 2006, p. 110, ISBN: 9780814629253

I find it to be very odd and rare for a Catholic priest to object to the traditions set forth by the Papacy, because his objections are the equivalent of questioning the Pope, which is the equivalent of questioning God in their religion. (i.e. Questioning the Pope is not a definitive punishment, but grounds for defrocking, or termination of priesthood, in Catholicism.) However, that being said, if a Catholic priest, who is not of Christ, can see the problems with these traditions, then ask yourself: Why are so many pastors unable to see it?
(Read "Corruptions of Christianity: Catholicism" & "Why Millions of Believers on Jesus Are Going to Hell" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

Many times, I have heard the average churchgoer make an excuse, saying, "We have liberty in Christ, so it's acceptable for us to do these things!" However, they have adopted a philosophy (i.e. a way of thinking) that the phrase "liberty in Christ" is equivalent to "I can do whatever I want," but this a convenient way of thinking for those who do not want to be held accountable for what they say and do.

Most often, churchgoers think that idolatry is limited to creating a statue and bowing down to it, but idolatry extends much further than that because God judges the heart, just as He did with Israel:

Son of man, these men have set up their idols in their heart, and put the stumblingblock of their iniquity before their face: should I be enquired of at all by them? Therefore speak unto them, and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Every man of the house of Israel that setteth up his idols in his heart, and putteth the stumblingblock of his iniquity before his face, and cometh to the prophet; I the LORD will answer him that cometh according to the multitude of his idols; That I may take the house of Israel in their own heart, because they are all estranged from me through their idols.
-Ezekiel 14:3-5
(Read "The Biblical Understanding of Idolatry" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

The fact that churchgoers would attempt to cling to such a simple thing (e.g. tossing rice) only demonstrates the idolatry in their hearts, and therefore, by calling upon the liberty of Christ as a justification for the traditions of witchcraft, they are using liberty for an occasion to fulfill the desires of the flesh.

For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.
-Galatians 5:13

If churchgoers cannot depart from such easy things, by what reason do they claim to love the Lord Jesus Christ?

If ye love me, keep my commandments.
-John 14:15

Wherefore, my dearly beloved, flee from idolatry.
-1 Corinthians 10:14

In my teaching, "Halloween: Are Christians Lovers of Death?" I talked about how it is not possible to be a witness for the Lord Jesus Christ to fornicators while actively practicing fornication. In other words, you could not effectively preach God's Word to other people at a sex orgy if you are actively participating in it. Likewise, you cannot be an effective witness for Christ to witches while you practice their magic in your traditions because the pagans will call you out on your hypocrisy.

Rather, we ought to love the Lord God, respecting His hatred of paganism and witchcraft, and we should love our neighbor as ourselves, knowing that if we did not have Christ, we would want someone to set a better example for us, that we might come to salvation.

And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.
-Mark 12:30-31

It is the idolatry of the heart that keeps witches from seeing the truth about the sin of witchcraft in their rituals, just as it is the idolatry of the heart that keeps churchgoers from seeing the truth about the sin of witchcraft in their rituals.

There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness.
-Proverbs 30:12

WEDDING CAKE

Please do not misunderstand, though the eater of cake can be evil, cake itself is not inherently evil because, as I have already stated, inanimate objects (like cake) cannot make moral decisions. However, we need to ask ourselves: Why is cake almost always considered to be a requirement for a wedding? Or rather, we should ask: What does cake have to do with getting married?

If we pause to consider that for a moment, we will quickly realize that the eating of cake has no reasonable connection with the binding of a man and woman together in marriage, and there is no place in Scripture that refers to any such thing for weddings. However, cakes are often used by witches as part of their spellcraft, specifically to receive fertility benefits:
"Many of today's marriage customs have pagan origins. The shared wedding cake, tossed rice, and flowers are all old bits of fertility magick."
-Edain McCoy, Sabbats: A Witch's Approach to Living the Old Ways, Llewellyn Worldwide, 2002, p. 167, ISBN: 9781567186635

Sadly, most churchgoers simply scoff or laugh at this, but this is not a joke. In fact, pagans take this just as seriously as churchgoers take their wedding traditions because they believe they will receive fertility blessings from their false gods:

"Few people are aware that the wedding cake used in modern marriage ceremonies is a relic of the symbolic corn ears worn by the bride to ensure fertility in pagan times. These corn ears were replaced by cakes that were scattered over the newly married couple as they left the church. Thus we see how a subtle magical practice, in the form of the wedding cake, has become a central part of a religious or secular ceremony that allegedly has absolutely nothing to do with magic. [i.e. Churchgoers deny its pagan roots.] The pleasant custom of sending pieces of the wedding cake to friends and relatives is also a modern expression of the traditional need to share with one's friends the magic of the corn spirit."

-Migene Gonzalez-Wippler, The Complete Book of Spells: Ceremonies and Magic, Llewellyn Worldwide, 1978, p. 262, ISBN: 9780875422862

As we established earlier, God hates the witchcraft practice of divination, but pagans used the wedding cake for that purpose:
"The history of wedding cakes is quite long. These nuptial goodies have their origins in the ancient custom of couples ritually eating sacred foods during the marriage rite... Guests kept pieces of the cake, much as wedding guests of our own time take home slices for 'good luck.' In the Victorian era, unmarried English women placed pieces of wedding cake under their pillows for dreams of their future husbands."
-Scott Cunningham, Cunningham's Encyclopedia of Wicca in the Kitchen, Llewellyn Worldwide, 2012, ISBN: 9780738717111; Cunningham was a highly-respected 20-year veteran sorcerer, publishing more than 50 books around the topic of witchcraft.


As a side note, this is one of the many reasons why I do not celebrate birthdays like most Americans traditionally do. I do not teach that Christians are not at liberty to celebrate a birthday, but that birthdays are formed around a foundation of pride, and they employ many spell-casting traditions of witches, including the birthday cake and candles, and if any readers want to learn more about that, I highly recommend reading "Why I Don't Celebrate Birthdays" here at creationliberty.com for more details.

After I had published the above image, a man wrote to tell me that he was offended by the left side, which has the wedding cake and rings with the pentagrams on them, and he was offended because he felt it was a corruption of marriage. He did not want to understand that wedding cakes and rings are not a Biblical symbol of marriage, and that the cakes and rings themselves are the foundation of witchcraft tradition, but rather, he highly revered these things in his heart, so therefore, he rejected righteous judgment according to Biblical understanding, and instead chose to judge only according to the appearance in willful ignorance.

Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
-John 7:24

The rings, flowers, bouquets, garters, and cakes; these examples are just SOME of the major wedding traditions most Americans are familiar with. Many more beyond this could be mentioned, and there are many other smaller traditions that appear here and there, depending on the family and location, but they all have their origins in pagan superstition and witchcraft:
"As well as propagating a superstition against marrying in May, many other wedding traditions and superstitions practiced throughout Britain today originated during the Victorian era. Most of these superstitions developed from the belief that a wedding was a time when a couple was susceptible to bad luck and evil spirits. For instance, many brides conform to the common belief that they should wear 'something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue' and that the groom should not see his bride wearing her wedding gown before the ceremony. While blue is considered a lucky color for brides, conversely green is thought of as extremely unlucky for brides and some wedding guests have been asked to abstain from wearing green to weddings for fear of bringing newlyweds bad luck."
-Victoria Williams, Celebrating Life Customs around the World: From Baby Showers to Funerals, ABC-CLIO, 2016, p. 33, ISBN: 9781440836596

Why is there a superstition about marrying in May? It was born from witchcraft. May is the month of one of paganism's most highly revered holidays, called "Beltane," in which they honor the god of death, and so because death is associated with the celebration, it is (according to pagans) "bad luck" to marry in May.

Why do brides need to wear something blue? It was born from witchcraft. For example, in witchcraft, the color blue is associated with "good luck" in the context of love, fidelity, harmony, and devotion, and although most people see the color green to be associated with luck, it is more associated with materialism and wealth, but blue is considered "lucky" for brides that it will cause a man to love her more than money in hopes of a long marriage.
(See Erin Dragonsong, "What Is The Meaning of Colors?" Wicca Spirituality: Earth-Based Enlightenment, retrieved Nov 1, 2018, [wicca-spirituality.com/meaning-colors.html]; See also The Magickal Cat, "Magickal Color Correspondences," retrieved Nov 1, 2018, [themagickalcat.com/Articles.asp?ID=241])

None of these things are found in Scripture, and on top of that, they are just flat-out foolish and nonsensical. No one in their right mind would just get up one morning and decide to do these things, UNLESS there was a religious reason to do so, and that reason is pagan superstition.

Then Paul stood in the midst of Mars' hill, and said, Ye men of Athens, I perceive that in all things ye are too superstitious.
-Acts 17:22

To give another example, I have seen many people who have insisted on starting a wedding on the half hour (e.g. 12:30 or 1:30) rather than on the hour because they superstitiously believe the clockwise up-tick of the minute hand climbing slowly upwards during the ceremony would somehow bring them good luck. Also, seeing the bride in her gown before the ceremony (or not seeing her at all the day before) is another superstition often observed just on the basis that pagans viewed that as a sign of bad luck for the couple.

Again, there are so many other traditions that could be mentioned, but this should be more than enough evidence to prove the point that these traditions did not originate in Scripture. That is why you will not find them in God's Word. Again, they came from the wicked, ecumenical Catholic Church, who got them from pagans, and churchgoers everywhere believe in willful blindness that they are "sacred" traditions.

Worse still, I see a lot of hypocrisy in these matters because there are churchgoers (who claim to be of Christ) that publically preach against sin, which is good, but they turn around and practice the same traditions as those sinners. It always fascinates me how many churchgoers go out on the street and preach against sodomites/homosexuals, but they do not stop to consider that both the churchgoers and the homosexuals are participating in the same pagan rituals. (To be clear, a 'sodomite' refers to the city of Sodom, in which they practiced all manner of lewdness and debauchery, just as the gays, lesbians, and so-called "transgenders" do today. - 1Ki 14:24) Ask yourself: Why do the typical wedding traditions not offend the homosexuals if the traditions are supposed to be "Christian" in nature? If God commanded us to do the typical wedding traditions we see today, the sodomites would go running the other direction. The reason most sodomites are not offended by the modern-day wedding traditions is because they are not Christian traditions, and churchgoers, even those who might teach what is right, are hypocrites because they do not judge themselves first.

Most American churchgoers only have a love for God with their mouths, but they do not love Christ enough to sanctify themselves from their traditions for His sake. They love their feel-good rituals more than they love Him. I hope that Christian readers will stop and consider this matter before we end up teaching the next generation to blindly follow the corrupt religious traditions of church buildings.

This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.
-Matthew 15:8-9

 

Sadly, I have had some readers write me to tell me they acknowledged that the typical wedding traditions are witchcraft, but they went ahead and participated in them anyway because they feared what their family would think if they did not go through with them. The Bible does not teach us that we should give in to the lusts and whims (i.e. the unexplained desires) of our family, but rather, that we should love the Lord Jesus Christ first and foremost, which means we should be more concerned with what He thinks than what our family thinks.

For I am come to set a man at variance [a difference that produces controversy and division] against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
-Matthew 10:35-37

One of the men who wrote me told me that his fiancée (i.e. bride-to-be) said she would refuse to marry him if he did not go through all the pagan wedding rituals. Sadly, just like Adam in the Garden of Eden, he prioritized losing her over fearing God, and went ahead with all the rituals to appease her. The problem with this is not only demonstrating that he has little concern or dedication to Christ, but also he is starting his marriage out on a very shaky foundation because, before being married, when a women threatens to leave a man unless she gets her way, that is not the type of woman that will make a loyal wife, meaning that his marriage will be miserable, with divorce looming over his head at any moment depending on her mood.

The Lord Jesus Christ does not put such burdens on us and threaten us into submission. He also does not require His saints to jump through ritual hoops and walk a tightrope of religious tradition.

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
-Matthew 11:28-30

When I first thought to marry the woman who is now my wife, I spent months going through every verse I could find on marriage and weddings, and I read through entire chapters of each instance to make sure I understood the context because I wanted to do what was right by God in this matter. I wanted to know what the Biblical requirements were for marriage, and what Christ had to say about it, but what many readers may be surprised to learn is that, after months of research on this topic, I found only one requirement for a man and woman to be married; no traditional hoops, and no religious tightropes.

Before I discuss that one requirement, let's imagine an example to help us better understand the reason and Biblical philosophy (i.e. way of thinking). If a man and woman were stranded on a deserted island, and they did not have dresses, someone to give away the bride, a cake, a church building to married in, a pastor to marry them, or marriage licenses, the question is: Could they still get married?

If you look to the philosophy (i.e. the way of thinking) of the world, the answer would be "No," because the couple would require a long list of traditions, religious or government leaders, and documentation, but according to the philosophy of the Bible, the answer would be "Yes," they can get married. The moment that the man declares in agreement with the woman that she is his wife, and the moment the woman declares in agreement with the man that he is her husband, they have given their word before God, and that is all that is required; they are married before God because they have given their word.

Marriage is established by two people, a man and a woman, declaring it in agreement.

I know some readers may have expected more than that, but if you are having a hard time believing it, I would encourage you to keep reading, and also search the Scripture yourself to prove the matter.

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
-2 Timothy 2:15

The Lord God takes the spoken word VERY seriously. Though most churchgoers today seem to be very lackadaisical (i.e. uncaring) about what they say, the Lord Jesus Christ told us that He is going to judge every word men speak, even those things which are spoken in our casual time.

But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.
-Matthew 12:36-37

In the previous chapter on the subject of wedding rings, I had quoted Scripture which states clearly that God hates lies with the utmost hatred:

These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
-Proverbs 6:16-19

A righteous man hateth lying: but a wicked man is loathsome, and cometh to shame.
-Proverbs 13:5

If any readers want more details on this topic, I have a teaching called "God Does Not Justify Lies," here at creationliberty.com, which will provide more examples in Scripture about how we should speak honestly in all things, and how often churchgoers tend to lie on a daily basis in their casual speech. In short, when we give our word to do something, and we do not keep our word, then we sin against God.

Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin; neither say thou before the angel, that it was an error: wherefore should God be angry at thy voice, and destroy the work of thine hands?
-Ecclesiates 5:6

In fact, if we take the doctrine of Christ seriously, the traditional "marriage vows" that are spoken during most wedding ceremonies are not good:

Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths: But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God's throne: Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King. Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, becafuse thou canst not make one hair white or black. But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.
-Matthew 5:33-37

Jesus taught us that, when we give our word, we should give a "Yes" if we are going to do something, or a "No" if we are not going to do something, and anything that is added to that is evil because whatever is added onto our basic "Yes" or "No" when we give our word is all for show, to stand on pretense to impress others. (e.g. a pinky swear) For example, if I told my wife I would take out the trash, that is a promise because I gave my word to do the job, but if I tell her, "I PROMISE to take out the trash," that is evil because the simple "Yes" or "No" is automatically a promise, and so to needlessly and redundantly add in the word 'promise' is to say that my normal "Yes" and "No" given without me mentioning the promise could be a lie.

To put it another way, someone who goes back on their word and says, "Well, I did promise to do it," are confessing to being liars. It means that their word means nothing to them, that they lie frequently, not taking any responsibility for what they tell others, and if you want to get them to keep their word, you have to get them to say a series of magic words.

Ultimately, people who are dedicated to keep their word never have to say "I promise to do this," nor do they have to swear any oaths, because the people around them know that if they give their word, the deed is as good as done. The spoken "Yea" or "Nay" of an honest man is good enough; however, for a dishonest man (i.e. a liar), he only takes his word seriously when he swears an oath (and even then, it's questionable), meaning that his spoken word is worthless, and he sins before God without concern of coming judgment for his iniquity.

For the sin of their mouth and the words of their lips let them even be taken in their pride: and for cursing and lying which they speak.
-Psalm 59:12

A false witness shall not be unpunished, and he that speaketh lies shall perish.
-Proverbs 19:9

So in other words, if you have to say, "I swear to God," or "I swear on my mother's grave" or "for richer, for poorer, till death us do part, in accordance to God's holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow," it is all considered evil in the sight of God because a man's word should be enough. Of course, there are many women who believe fervently that their marriage vows were sacred and holy, and I have had vicious letters written to me telling me how evil I am for daring to tell them otherwise, but those letters only demonstrated how little they were dedicated to the Lord Jesus Christ, and how much they were dedicated to religious tradition.

One of the most common arguments I have heard from female churchgoers is the claim that there is a difference between an 'oath' and a 'vow', and they claim that they took a vow, not an oath. However, this simply proved to me that they did not bother to study Scripture very much because, if they had checked with God's Word first, before making that argument, they would have discovered that a 'vow' and an 'oath' are used interchangeably in Scripture because they mean the same thing:

Every vow, and every binding oath to afflict the soul, her husband may establish it, or her husband may make it void.
-Numbers 30:13

oath (n): a solemn [serious] affirmation or declaration, made with an appeal to God for the truth of what is affirmed
vow (n): a solemn [serious] promise made to God
(See 'oath' & 'vow', American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 1828, retrieved Oct 5, 2018, [webstersdictionary1828.com])

This is where things start to get interesting because, from the days of my childhood, I had always wondered where the traditional wedding ceremony words came from. (e.g. "Do you [insert name] take [insert name] to be your lawfully wedded husband/wife?") Of course, when I was younger, I assumed the same thing everyone else assumes, namely that it must be in the Bible somewhere, but it turns out that those words and phrases are NOWHERE to be found in Scripture.

As I investigated further, I discovered these same speeches and phrases (e.g. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today...") came from a book called The Book of Common Prayer, which is considered to be a sacred document among pastors in most church buildings today. Why is it that most churchgoers have no idea where this comes from? Not only do churchgoers typically never question it, but pastors keep that information to themselves, and they do not bother informing everyone that the origin of The Book of Common Prayer is taken straight out of the Catholic Church. It is mostly the Anglicans, a branch of Catholicism, who developed the Book of Common Prayer, and the book was later adopted and revised by some evangelicals. The Book of Common Prayer contains ritual prayers for morning, evening, communion, marriage, etc, and which are now used as standard prayers for Catholics around the world, despite the fact that the Lord Jesus Christ preached against repetitious prayers that are spoken in vanity.

(John Knox, a dedicated Anglican priest, influenced much of the Book of Common Prayer that is still corrupting church buildings today. Read "Denominations Are Unbiblical" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.
-Matthew 6:7

The Book of Common Prayer teaches churchgoers to speak standard phrases in repetition, and that is precisely what most pagan religions do. For example, in Hinduism, they have what they call "mantras," which are words or sounds repeated over and over to put them in a religious meditative state, and witches have what they call "incantations," which are words repeated over and over to cast spells or charms, and the Catholics have the "hail Mary" and "our Father" phrases they have to repeat a number of times to be absolved; these things are no different than what is written in The Book of Common Prayer, and it contradicts what Jesus Christ taught us.
(Read "The Biblical Understanding of Prayer" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

In The Book of Common Prayer, it instructs readers to pray a particular set of words and phrases over the sick, and supposedly, that will make them well. This is no different than a witch using an incantation, reciting a particular set of words, and expecting magical results from them.
(Read "Fantasy Novels: Invitations to Hell" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

When pastors read from The Book of Common Prayer in marriage ceremonies, they conveniently skip over a few parts in it that I think Christians ought to know about. For example:
"At the Eucharist: The liturgy continues with the Offertory, at which the newly married couple may present the offerings of bread and wine... it is appropriate that the newly married couple receive Communion first, after the ministers."
-Book of Common Prayer: And Administration of the Sacraments and Other Rites and Ceremonies of the Church, Church Publishing Inc, 2001, p. 432, ISBN: 9780898694390

offertory (n): the offering of the unconsecrated elements that is made to God by the celebrant in a Eucharistic service
(See 'offertory', Random House Dictionary, 2015, [www.dictionary.com]; See also Collins English Dictionary, 10th Edition, William Collins Sons & Co, 2009)

For those of you unfamiliar with Catholic abominations, the Eucharistic service is the belief in something called 'transubstantiation', which is the claim of Catholic priests to perform the "miracle" of changing a wafer and wine into the literal body and literal blood of Christ (without actually changing it), whereby they consume it for the remission of sins. In short, it is a works-based doctrine from the Devil; we ought to sanctify ourselves (i.e. set ourselves apart) from such wicked things, and Christians have no Biblical justification to adopt those wicked practices and reshape them for mainstream church-ianity.
(Read "Corruptions of Christianity: Catholicism - Chapter #3 - Mass/Eucharist: Never-Ending Blood Sacrifices" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

The Book of Common Prayer goes on to say:
"Normally, the celebrant [one who marries the couple] is a priest or bishop. Where permitted by civil law, and when no priest or bishop is available, a deacon may function as celebrant, but does not pronounce a nuptial blessing."
-Book of Common Prayer: And Administration of the Sacraments and Other Rites and Ceremonies of the Church, Church Publishing Inc, 2001, p. 435, ISBN: 9780898694390

According to The Book of Common Prayer, your marriage cannot be blessed and approved by God unless you get a Catholic priest to do it. There is no reason why any professing Christian should have picked up this book for practical use in the first place, but they did it anyway, and pastors opted to hide a few key parts in it, so it was not as offensive to their congregations, because in the end, most pastors are serving the same false "Jesus" as the Catholic priests, and so it should not be surprising to us that they all adopt each other's religious traditions without any conviction or repentance of wrongdoing.
(Read "Is Repentance Part of Salvation?" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)


To get a better idea of the many problems in The Book of Common Prayer, let's look at the first paragraph from the marriage ceremony section, which most readers will probably recognize:
"Dearly beloved: We have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the joining together of this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony. The bond and covenant of marriage was established by God in creation, and our Lord Jesus Christ adorned this manner of life by his presence and first miracle at a wedding in Cana of Galilee. It signifies to us the mystery of the union between Christ and his Church, and Holy Scripture commends it to be honored among all people."
-Book of Common Prayer: And Administration of the Sacraments and Other Rites and Ceremonies of the Church, Church Publishing Inc, 2001, p. 423, ISBN: 9780898694390

The way this is worded, it gives the reader (or the hearer) the impression that the Lord Jesus Christ approved of a pagan ceremony when He visited the wedding in Cana, but the Jews that remained faithful to the Lord God did not participate in such pagan rituals like most Americans do today. The record of Jesus visiting the wedding in Cana is mentioned in John 2:

And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there: And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage.
-John 2:1-2

Based on the way The Book of Common Prayer was worded, you might have expected that there were more details about the wedding in Cana beyond the first two verses of John 2. However, there is no more detail mentioned; there is a marriage supper, which was a dinner where the people gathered to celebrate the marriage, but nowhere does it mention any grand ceremony with a bunch of pagan-based rituals and mantras.

The Book of Common Prayer also uses a certain phrase that is commonly used among churchgoers that is well-known to be associated with marriages, and that is the phrase "Holy Matrimony." Some readers may be surprised to learn that this term still causes a lot of confusion for etymologists (i.e. etymology is the study of the origin of words and phrases) because even though the average dictionary will say the word 'matrimony' means marriage, the pieces that make up the word do not make much sense.

There are a number of words that have the Latin suffix -mony, but the suffix itself does not have a particular meaning. For example, the suffix -archy means 'rule' or 'govern', and so a patri-archy (patron meaning father) is an adult male-ruling position, as opposed to a matri-archy (matron meaning mother), which is an adult female-ruling position. Though the prefix patri- (father) and matri- (mother) are typically used in a distinction between male and female, it does not work the same way with the word 'matrimony', which has confused many etymologists, but I am about to explain the missing piece of the puzzle.

The term 'matrimony' literally means "the state of motherhood," but that is confusing in general because marriage itself does not automatically make the woman a "mother." It gets more confusing when we read The Book of Common Prayer saying: "the joining together of this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony." How does the man enter motherhood? That is not possible for men. Even the woman does not enter motherhood until she conceives, so how does the marriage ceremony bring her into motherhood?
(See 'matrimony', Online Etymology Dictionary, retrieved Nov 2, 2018, [etymonline.com/word/matrimony])

As I kept reading and studying what various researchers said about this term, I concluded that their confusion was due to the lack of understanding about Roman Catholicism's origin in pagan lore. The capitalized words "Holy Matrimony," is in reference to the couple coming into a union under the authority of the pagan mother goddess, which the Catholics refer to as "Mary," or in other words, it is a marriage union under "Mary," and not under God.
(Read "Corruptions of Christianity: Catholicism - Chapter #6 - Idolatry: The Goddess Called 'Mary'" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

As a side note, there are some other commonly used phrases in our society that are initially confusing, but they came from the same Catholic context; for example, the phrase alma mater is often used when one is referring to his or her college or university. (e.g. A man might say, "Harvard University is my alma mater.") However, what most people do not understand is that the word alma is Latin for "virgin" and mater is Latin for "mother," which means that when someone says "that's my alma mater," they are actually saying, "That's my Virgin Mother," which is in reference to the pagan false goddess "Mary" of the Catholic Church. (i.e. They are worshiping their own education as a false pagan goddess.)

Likewise, for a man or woman to say they were wed in "Holy Matrimony," means that they were wed under the authority of the pagan goddess of the Roman Catholics, which is an abomination in the sight of God. This means that we have couples everywhere being "blessed" under a pagan goddess, and most of them never take the time to learn the meaning of the words they are saying.
(Read "Corruptions of Christianity: Catholicism - Chapter #1 - Catholic History: A Pagan Foundation" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

These are just a few of the many examples that could be given from The Book of Common Prayer to demonstrate that not only are the traditions not found anywhere in Scripture, but also, the book teaches practices that are contrary to Christ's doctrine. Ultimately, willingly blind pastors perform pagan/Catholic ceremonies, using incantations in vain repetition, directly contradicting Christ, and in most cases, if you do not participate in their rituals and traditions, pastors forbid churchgoers to marry and/or refuse to acknowledge their marriages.

Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.
-1 Timothy 4:1-3

As I have already stated multiple times, I have had a lot of pastors and churchgoers get very angry with me for teaching these things, and in those discussions, some have falsely accused me of arguing that they are not married by God because they did these traditions. Please do not misunderstand; I am in no way claiming that they are not married in the eyes of God because, once we put aside all the pagan rituals, they did profess one another to be husband and wife, and that is all that is required to be married. I do believe they are married, and no man should argue against it if the couple has given their word in marriage, but the fact is that they went about it in a very wrong manner in their willful ignorance, and most pastors, elders, and churchgoers hate correction because they forsake the ways of God.

Correction is grievous unto him that forsaketh the way: and he that hateth reproof shall die.
-Proverbs 15:10

For example, God acknowledges the marriage of unbelievers who have done many pagan rituals and wicked deeds. Jesus taught:

But as the days of Noe were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be. For as in the days that were before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noe entered into the ark, And knew not until the flood came, and took them all away; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.
-Matthew 24:37-39

So what Christ is describing here is that, in the end days before Christ returns, people will be partying and planning out their lives together as if they have a lot of time remaining, ignoring the signs of His return. Notice that He did NOT say they were "committing adulterying and giving in fornication," but Jesus acknowledged their marriages because marriage is based on a man and woman giving their word to each other, and once you strip away all the pagan rituals and fanciful material things, the marriage is based on their spoken word.
(Read "The Beginner's Guide to Christian Rapture" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

There are other churchgoers that have tried to argue that sexual intercourse is required for marriage, but again I would ask: Where is that a requirement in Scripture? Let's suppose a man had been injured in war and his male member no longer functions properly to allow him to have sexual intercourse; does that mean he can no longer marry a woman?

I once knew a couple who got newly married when they were both over ninety years old, the husband had severe back problems from a car accident, and I knew for a fact they could not engage in sexual intercourse. I would almost guarantee that those churchgoers would not have the nerve to go up to that couple and tell them that their marriage was not legitimate because they had not had sex; that is absurd, cruel, and unbiblical, but the reason they make the argument to me is for sole purpose of denying that marriage is all based on simply giving your word, and they do that in order to justify their pagan traditions so they can call them "holy."

There are other churchgoers who try to take that one step further and claim that sexual intercourse automatically makes a couple married, but that is also not Biblically sound. If have sex automatically made two people married, then there would be no such thing as fornication, which is sex outside of marriage; under that circumstance, no one could claim that Playboy Magazine founder Hugh Hefner was a fornicator, but rather, one could only say he has a countless number of wives, and that is nonsensical.

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
-1 Corinthians 7:1-2

In these verses, fornication is defined as sexual contact between a man and woman that takes place outside of a marriage. This includes adultery, which is sexual interaction between a married man and/or woman if they are not married to each other, and whoremongers, which are those who charge money to perform sexual favors.

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
-Hebrews 13:4

It is good for a husband and his virgin bride to have sexual intercourse because it creates a unique intimate bond between them, and it is also good for them to have sex often:

The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other [i.e. do not take away what belongs to the other, or rather, do not withhold sex from your spouse], except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. [i.e. sexual appetite, indulging in lust without restraint]
-1 Corinthians 7:4-5

However, that does not mean that sexual intercourse is required to be married in the first place. All these verses are speaking in a context that is AFTER the couple is wed.

Others have argued to me that a father must give away his daughter on a wedding day for it to be a legitimate marriage, or that if the father is not present, then some other man must give her away, but I would ask them: Where is that commandment in Scripture? If we go back to the book of Genesis, we read that God created the female, brought her to the male, and then Adam named her and called her his wife, which means they were married by declaring it with their mouths, not by any other method of ceremony.

And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
-Genesis 2:22-25

The only commandment given here is that men and women would be married together, with a man leaving his parents and cleaving (i.e. uniting and holding on to) his wife. There is no commandment where another man is to give away a bride.

In Scripture, we get an example of a father "giving" his daughter away with Jacob and Rachel in Genesis 29, but there is a misconception here because it actually was not a "giving away." In fact, Rachel was earned as a wage.

And it came to pass, when Laban heard the tidings of Jacob his sister's son [nephew], that he ran to meet him, and embraced him, and kissed him, and brought him to his house. And he told Laban all these things. And Laban said to him, Surely thou art my bone and my flesh. And he abode with him the space of a month. And Laban said unto Jacob, Because thou art my brother [a nephew is flesh of his sibling, and therefore considered a brother], shouldest thou therefore serve me for nought? tell me, what shall thy wages be?... And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter.
-Genesis 29:13-18

Though Laban says he "gave her" to Jacob, the agreement was payment of dowry. Though the typical God-hating scoffer prefers to view a dowry payment as a form of purchasing a slave, that was not the case; dowry was a form of respect towards the woman's family, and also a proof to her family that he had enough resources to meet all her needs (because women and children are expensive).
(Read "Does The Bible Allow Slavery?" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

Let's suppose for a moment that Rachel had no father or brother to give her away; would that mean she could not marry Jacob? Even the simple reasoning God gave us tells us that is not the case. The giving away by the father is also sometimes done by an uncle or brother, but in short, it basically means that if the woman is living under the household and care of a man, then he should have a say in who she marries because, if he is making a selfless sacrifice (i.e. love) to financially care for her, then he has her best interest at heart, and he will protect her from danger if possible because the woman is the weaker of the two genders, both physically and emotionally.

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
-1 Peter 3:7

However, what happens if a woman is living on her own? In the days of Genesis 29, it was not common for a woman to live on her own, so giving her away unto marriage was more common, but in our American society today, many women live and work to provide for themselves, and so having someone give her away is unnecessary when she is the authority of her own house.

In the Old Testament times, men tended to marry once they were a bit older, so they would have the experience, wisdom, skills, and wealth to provide for a wife and family, but women tended to marry when they were a bit younger, so they would have the youth and strength to bear children and run a household. Under those circumstances, the father would have to give his daughter away because she was young enough that he would have more wisdom of who would properly care for her, which, in the end, is far more important than fleeting lustful feelings of infatuation (i.e. passions) that is common in young men and women.

However, a man giving away a bride is still not a requirement for marriage. Just because a man might have a say in who a woman marries, the requirement to be married does not change.

If you read the book of Genesis slowly, paying attention to the details, you will find that Jacob was not able to marry Rachel after seven years because he was deceived by his uncle. However, Jacob, upon fulfilling his seven years of work, said, "Give me my WIFE:"

And Jacob said unto Laban, Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her. And Laban gathered together all the men of the place, and made a feast. And it came to pass in the evening, that he took Leah his daughter, and brought her to him; and he went in unto her. And Laban gave unto his daughter Leah Zilpah his maid for an handmaid. And it came to pass, that in the morning, behold, it was Leah: and he said to Laban, What is this thou hast done unto me? did not I serve with thee for Rachel? wherefore then hast thou beguiled me?
-Genesis 29:21-25

Why would Jacob call her his wife at that point? There was no ceremony, no pastor, no dresses, no cakes, no licenses, and the father had not given her away; so exactly when were they married? He gave his word to Rachel, and Rachel gave her word to him, that they would be husband and wife, but he was tricked into giving his word to Leah as well. Thus, both women were his wives, but Jacob also wanted to keep his word to his uncle, so he continued to work for him to finish out the dowry agreement before taking Rachel into his bed.

It is also important to note that even though Jacob was tricked into marrying Leah, he did not go back on his word. He did not go to his uncle and claim the marriage was not valid, and he did not toss Leah aside, but rather, Jacob feared God, knowing that he gave his word to Leah as well as Rachel, and so knowing he was accountable to God to keep his word, Leah remained his wife.

Jacob did that which was honorable in the sight of God, keeping his word no matter the circumstance, and sadly, the dedication to honesty is a trait that has been mostly lost in our American society, especially when it comes to marriage. Again, marriage is by the spoken word, a simple declaration of the truth, and God takes the spoken word VERY seriously, so we need to be cautious about the things we say; there is no need to swear oaths because our simple "Yes" or "No" should be as good as a contract.

But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by heaven, neither by the earth, neither by any other oath: but let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation.
-James 5:12

I married my wife (Lorraine) in March of 2010, and the only thing we did was give our word to each other in the sight of the Lord God; we have been together ever since. Sadly, we have suffered a lot of grief because we chose not to participate in pagan wedding traditions, but the people we received the most grief and hassle from (for simply trying to be Biblical in our marriage) was churchgoers, and most especially pastors.

Some readers might be wondering why pastors would be the biggest source of persecution on this matter, and based on my experience with them, the problem is their lust after something the Bible calls "preeminence."

preeminence (n): superiority in excellence; precedence; priority of place; superiority in rank or dignity
(See 'pre-eminence', American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 1828, retrieved Jan 23, 2020, [webstersdictionary1828.com])

In Scripture, Christ is supposed to have the preeminence, but in the minds of most pastors today, they believe they should have all the preeminence.

And he [Christ] is the head of the body, the church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all things he might have the preeminence.
-Colossians 1:18

They act in the manner of a man called Diotrephes, who rejected the apostles of Christ, and tried to draw away disciples after himself.

I wrote unto the church: but Diotrephes, who loveth to have the preeminence among them, receiveth us not. Wherefore, if I come, I will remember his deeds which he doeth, prating against us with malicious words: and not content therewith, neither doth he himself receive the brethren, and forbiddeth them that would, and casteth them out of the church. Beloved, follow not that which is evil, but that which is good. He that doeth good is of God: but he that doeth evil hath not seen God.
-3 John 1:9-11

They love to be superior to others in their position as a "pastor," meaning that the honor they receive from others is one of their primary motivations. This is what causes them to backbite and rail against those who question their traditions, which is what the Bible calls "strife" and "vainglory."

strife (n): exertion or contention for superiority; contention in anger or enmity; contest; struggle for victory
vainglory (n): exclusive vanity excited by one's own performances; empty pride; undue elation of mind (See 'strife', American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 1828, retrieved Jan 23, 2020, [webstersdictionary1828.com])

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
-Philippians 2:3

But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.
-James 3:14-16

It is all because they love to have their person (i.e. their title, rank, degree, office, or station) respected, which is sin:

If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well: But if ye have respect to persons, ye commit sin, and are convinced of the law as transgressors.
-James 2:8-9
(Read "Respecting Persons Is Sin" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

This is important to understand because, according to the world, one of the primary duties of a pastor is to marry people. If a pastor's function to oversee weddings is no longer needed, then the public's view of his lofty position fades away, and if they find his position to be useless, not only will he lose the respect he loves so much, but he will also lose his other love—money.

For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
-1 Timothy 6:10

If anyone reading this is still clinging to their pagan church-ianity traditions, and you decide you want to argue with me about it, then I will tell you the same thing I have told many pastors: Go into the Word of God, find me a commandment that two people are to be married by a religious authority through a list of rituals, then my wife and I (through the fear of the Lord God) will amend our ways and go do those things He has commanded. However, if you search the Scripture and find no commandment on these things, then I hope you will not be a hypocrite, and amend YOUR ways, turning away from the evil.

And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.
-Ephesians 5:11

Purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump, as ye are unleavened. For even Christ our passover is sacrificed for us:
-1 Corinthians 5:7

My wife and I have suffered through the railing of pastors who have falsely accused me and my wife, claiming that we are fornicators and adulterers, refusing to acknowledge our marriage, and as of publishing of this book, I have never yet had one come in repentance (i.e. grief and godly sorrow) of their wrongdoing (i.e. strife and vainglory). We have been tossed aside and abandoned by those who claimed to "care" about us with their tongues only. Not one of them has ever given Biblical justification for what they say and do, but the reason they continue in their traditions while despising others is because they are false teachers of a false gospel, relying on their traditions rather than looking to the truth of God's Word, all for the sake of fame and fortune.

But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction. And many shall follow their pernicious ways; by reason of whom the way of truth shall be evil spoken of. And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you: whose judgment now of a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not.
-2 Peter 2:1-3
(Read "Tithe is Not a Christian Requirement" & "False Converts vs Eternal Security"
here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

Because of the constant brainwashing of tradition coming from the church buildings and pastors, I have encountered many women who ask, "If I do not have a wedding ceremony and wedding rings, how will anyone know I am married?" I do not mean any insult to these women by this, because it is a legitimate question, but I have to confess that I always chuckle in laughter a bit when I hear a woman ask that question because married couples have always handled this in the same way for the past 6,000 years of history: We simply tell people we are married.

For example, my wife and I never participated in one typical wedding tradition, nor have we ever had wedding rings, and yet, most people we interact with are none the wiser; meaning that they have no idea. When we talk to people in passing, when the subject comes up, we tell them we are married, and not once have we ever had anyone question it. (The only reason pastors found out is because of doctrinal discussion with them, in combination with their pastoral gossip chain, which few churchgoers are aware exists.) If we do not give any details, NO ONE questions that Lorraine and I are married, and we have never had any problems.

Pause and consider this for a moment: If you just met a couple, and they told you they were married, did you immediately ask to see proof? Most likely, you have never done that. If someone tells you they are married, you accept it and think nothing else of it, and that is consistent with what the Bible tells us, namely, that giving your word is all that is required.

For example, in Genesis 12, Abraham (Abram) traveled to Egypt, and because his wife Sarah (Sarai) was beautiful, he feared that Egyptian men would kill him so to take his wife for themselves. This was during a time where they considered adultery a greater crime than murder. Since Sarah was his half-sister, Abraham's plan was to have her tell them that she was his sister (which was technically true), but the plan backfired when Pharaoh decided he wanted Sarah as a wife and took her into his palace.

And the LORD plagued Pharaoh and his house with great plagues because of Sarai Abram's wife. And Pharaoh called Abram, and said, What is this that thou hast done unto me? why didst thou not tell me that she was thy wife?
-Genesis 12:17-18

Notice that Pharaoh did NOT say, "Why didst thou not have wedding rings?" or "Why didst thou not show me thy license?" rather, he said, "Why didst thou not TELL ME?" The way we know a man and woman are married is by their word, based on what they tell us, and if anyone says that something more than that is required (e.g. wedding rings or certificates), that comes of evil, not of good; as Jesus taught us, and I will quote Him again:

But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.
-Matthew 5:37

Our word is sufficient. Everything else is just for show.

God holds all men and women accountable, and will judge them according to their word, even if they refuse to acknowledge it. If any Christian is reading this, and you still believe you need grand ceremonies, rings, pastors, limousines, tuxes, dresses, cakes, and every other worldly wedding tradition in order to be married to your spouse, then I would say there is a serious problem in your heart that you need to take in humility before the Lord God.

Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?
-2 Corinthians 13:5

Giving your word is a binding covenant before God and men, whether you give your word for something as simple as taking out the trash, or giving your word for something more solemn, like working seven years to marry a woman. The Bible teaches us that we need to take what we say seriously.

Keep thy foot when thou goest to the house of God, and be more ready to hear, than to give the sacrifice of fools: for they consider not that they do evil. Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few. For a dream cometh through the multitude of business; and a fool's voice is known by multitude of words... Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin; neither say thou before the angel, that it was an error: wherefore should God be angry at thy voice, and destroy the work of thine hands?
-Ecclesiastes 5:1-6

When we introduce ourselves to other people in basic conversation, and a man says "This is my wife," or a woman says "This is my husband," that is giving our word, as a clear declaration of the truth in the sight of God and mankind. By speaking those words, a marriage is lawfully binding in the sight of God, which is why, to this day, women still use the phrase, "I am spoken for."



 

Most often, American churchgoers are taught that in order to be married, you have to have a certificate or a license. That is a false teaching coming from mouths of many pastors, and in this chapter, we will demonstrate that marriage licenses are not only unnecessary and useless, but can cause a lot of problems.

Before continuing, I want to make sure readers understand what a 'bill' means in Scripture:

bill (n): a declaration in writing
(See 'bill', American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 1828, retrieved Jan 21, 2020, [webstersdictionary1828.com])

For example, a written declaration was commanded by God to be written in the case of a divorce:

When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.
-Deuteronomy 24:1

The first thing we need to acknowledge is that, although a bill of divorce exists, there is NO such thing in the Bible as a "bill of marriage," meaning that God never commanded people to have a certificate or license for marriage. That is why I will not be addressing a lot of Scripture in this chapter, simply because the concept of a "marriage license" was not instituted by the Lord Jesus Christ.

Based on various sources I have researched, the first marriage licenses were established by various governments in 12th century Europe, but it was the idea of the Roman Catholic Church. Catholic priests wanted full control over who could marry, but they implemented marriage licenses under the pretext of preventing State rulers from having more than one wife, so the public would more readily accept them.

This is what began the tradition of a priest having to "marry" a couple, and through propaganda from the Catholic Church, people slowly adopted the idea that a couple could not get married unless there was a priest to "bless" the marriage. This is exactly what the Bible means when it says that the wicked are "forbidding to marry."

Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.
-1 Timothy 4:2-3

Once the corrupt Church of England had established marriage licenses, this tradition was carried over into the early U.S. colonies by the 17th century, but the practice of States offering marriage licenses did not carry over because such a thing did not become a nation-wide standard until the mid-19th century. Few pastors today know about this, nor do they really care to understand it, but the reality is that, today, many pastors who preach against Catholicism still adopt Catholic tradition, and usurp God's authority by claiming that a pastor must "marry" someone.

Furthermore, the concept of a marriage license is NOT legal permission to marry, and this is something that nearly all churchgoers do not understand. The State does not marry anyone, and later in the chapter, I will discuss the difference between the Biblical term 'marriage' and the State definition of 'marriage," because they are not the same thing.

In short, a State marriage license is nothing more than a business contract. Let's look at a standard marriage license from the State of Washington's Department of Health:
(Click image for larger view.)
This is fairly simple and straight-forward, and is not much different than standard census records, but that is exactly the point. When the Catholic Church invented marriage licenses in the 12th century, they proposed them to the rulers of various countries, but they would have to be established by kings and nobles, and in order to get their approval, there has to be a benefit for both parties.

So the Catholic Church's benefit is that all the people in the land must come get their permission to marry, which increases their power over the people. The government's benefit was knowledge; specifically that marriage licenses helped to document census information, and with census information, rulers have a better idea about how they tax the people to bring in more money, and furthermore, the Catholic Church and the State being cooperation with each other on the matter improved the rulers' standing with the people because being under a "nuptial blessing" from a priest made them look "holy" on the outside. (i.e. It's a win-win deal between the State and Catholic clergy.)

However, under modern U.S. practices, while a couple signs the above document and thinks there is no harm in providing this information, what they do not realize is that once it goes on record at the Health Department, it is not just information stored, but it also registers the couple under a corporate contract that is binding. That contractual bondage is not about marriage, but about property rights.

Most mainstream sources try to persuade people that marriage licenses are a requirement, but the problem is, if you look closely, they never provide any evidence of it. For example:
"Marriage licenses are required in all states although the requirements vary. The license is a permit that confirms that both of you are free to legally marry... After the wedding, your officiant will sign the license, along with your witnesses... and send it in to the office that handles marriage licenses."
-Lifetime Press, The Lifetime Wedding Planner, Hyperion, 2003, p. 34, ISBN: 9780786869435

For the author to just proclaim that marriage licenses are "required in all states" does not prove that they are, nor does it explain to us what they are required for. (i.e. They are not required to be married, so what are they required to do?) There is NO law in the U.S. that requires any married couple to file for a marriage license.

To give an example, no United States citizen is required by law to get a driver's license, but if someone wants to drive on public roads, paid for by taxes, then they need permission (i.e. license) to do so. If you simply want to learn to drive, you can, and if you want to drive around your own property, no law exists that prevents you from doing so, which mean you can drive a vehicle without a driver's license.

That being said, if you want a U.S. court of law (or other American agency) to recognize your marriage, then you would have to file for marriage permission (i.e. a marriage license), but if you do not have a need for the State to recognize your marriage, then you have no need for a marriage license. The only part that is illegal is when someone "officiates" or "solemnizes" a wedding (i.e. a pastor signs the "officiant" section of the marriage license), but they do not have State approval to be an officiant.

So why it is that so many couples have marriage licenses when there is no legal requirement to get them? Why would they go to so much effort to make sure they are both bound by a contract they have never seen or read? If couples will be honest, the main reason they get marriage licenses is because they are advised to get one by the "officiant" (i.e. whoever is licensed to marry them), and in most cases, that is a pastor or priest; in short, instead of investigating for themselves, couples put their faith and trust in a pastor.

Thus saith the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD.
-Jeremiah 17:5

In order to become a licensed officiant, one must either be a government official (like a judge or mayor), or one must be "a member of the clergy of a religious organization," which most often requires one to be a member of a corrupt 501(c)(3) incorporated ministry because American courts will not recognize any religious organization without 501c3 status. In other words, in most cases, you have to go through the leavened (i.e. corrupt) church buildings in order to become an officiant or to get a marriage license.
(See Law Server, "Indiana Code 31-11-6-1. Persons authorized to solemnize marriages," 2017, retrieved Oct 9, 2018, [lawserver.com/law/state/indiana/in-code/indiana_code_31-11-6-1]; Read "501c3: The Devil's Church" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

The following image is a sample of an "Ordained Minister's License." Based on the various websites I found, obtaining an officiant license could cost anywhere from $50 to $300, and can be granted to both men and women.
(See American Fellowship Church, "How to Become a Legally Ordained Minister Today!" retrieved Jan 24, 2020, [https://www.amfellow.org]; See also United National Ministry, "Basic Ordination Package," retrieved Jan 24, 2020, [unministry.org/collections/ordination-packages/products/basic-ordination-package])


As a side note, they issue these licenses with the title of "Reverend" in front of their names. Not only were titles not used in the early church (e.g. Pastor [insert name], Elder [insert name], Brother [insert name], etc), but the word 'reverend' means "holy," and it was only used in Scripture to describe the Lord God; or in other words, these arrogant preachers are giving themselves the holy name of God.
(Read "Titles Are Unbiblical in the Church" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

He sent redemption unto his people: he hath commanded his covenant for ever: holy and reverend is his name.
-Psalm 111:9

In the last chapter, we went over the details about the phrases typically spoken during a wedding, and there is a well-known phrase that most readers will be familiar with: "By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife." I have also heard this phrase spoken many times in weddings and media. In this context, the word 'power' means "authority," and the word 'vested' means "assigned to," so as an officiant of the State, what power is the pastor drawing upon with that statement?

Of course, the typical churchgoer will immediately answer that it is the power of God, but sadly, that is not the case, despite what a pastor might claim, and despite what a churchgoer wants to believe. For example, the leavened site Open Ministry aids people to become officiants, and on their site, they teach those officiants to speak the following phrase:
"By the power vested in me by the State of _____, I now pronounce you husband and wife."
-Open Ministry, "How to Perform a Wedding Ceremony," retrieved Oct 9, 2018, [oministry.com/services/wedding-ceremony]

It was never intended for anyone to write in "the State of God," but rather, this is a State in the United States, which is referring to government, and that means they are not calling upon the authority of God. The typical churchgoer will respond to this by arguing that God established governments in accordance with Romans 13, and I would agree with that, but the problem is that there is NO LAW that requires a married couple to file for a license, and there is no punishment by which a couple suffers consequences for not filing for a license, which means the Romans 13 argument has no validity.

In order to reasonably make the argument that the lack of a marriage license is against God's commandments, you would first have to establish a law that says Biblical marriage is unlawful without a State license. As I pointed out earlier in this chapter, there is no such thing as a "bill of marriage," and because of that, one cannot logically argue a Biblical violation for NOT obtaining a State license.

I am fully aware that some preachers choose to say, "By the power vested in me by God," but first of all, where in the Bible did God ever give that pastor the "power" to marry anyone? There is no place in Scripture where a third party person marries anyone else, and again, that is a concept created by the Catholic Church, who usurps authority that does not belong to them. Furthermore, simply saying that the authority is under God does not mean that it is true because as soon as that pastor supposedly "marries" the couple, most of them go sign up for a marriage license, and as we will see later, it puts the couple into a contract that rejects the Lord God from having any authority in the marriage. (i.e. The pastor says one thing with his mouth, but he does something different.)

This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me.
-Matthew 15:8

As I mentioned earlier, the word 'license' literally means "permission:"

license (n): leave; permission; authority or liberty given to do or forbear any act; a license may be verbal or written; when written, the paper containing the authority is called a license
(See 'license', American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 1828, retrieved Oct 10, 2018, [webstersdictionary1828.com])

When someone signs a contract to obtain a license, they are requesting permission from an authority to do something, which is why I gave the example of the driver's license earlier. Roads are publicly funded through gasolene taxes, and therefore permission needs to be granted before using those road, but this leaves us with a very important question: When did marriage become publicly funded?

The problem is that it is actually a trick question because marriage never became publicly-funded, but at the same time, business contracts between married persons (through what is known today as a "marriage license") became publicly-funded. If that sounded confusing to you, it is only because you may not yet understand the definitions of the word 'marriage' that is being used by the State.

In order to gain understanding, we need to ask some more basic questions:

What is marriage? Who is the creator of marriage? Do men and women need permission to marry?

To give a general idea about the meaning of the word 'marriage', the base word means "to unite" or "to bond." That can be taken in many different ways, depending on the context, but it is not common for churchgoers to even consider what marriage is, let alone attempt answer these other questions, and therefore, those who have little understanding about marriage can be easily deceived about it.

Some people generally define marriage as being in a relationship and living together, but people have relationships and live together without marriage, so what exactly is the difference between married persons living together versus unmarried persons living together? Ultimately, it is God's Word that makes the difference, and His commandments against the sins of mankind is one of the primary purposes of marriage.

Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
-1 Corinthians 7:2

For example, in the religious philosophy of evolutionism/atheism, marriage actually makes no sense, nor is it clearly defined. From an evolutionary perspective, under "survival of the fittest," it would make more sense to just breed like animals, whenever and wherever, to produce more people for the survival of the species, and yet, for some strange reason, atheists/evolutionists frequently get married, which demonstrates a contradiction to their philosophy.
(Read "Evolutionism: Another New-Age Religion," "Everything You Need to Know About Atheism," and "The Earth's Age Affects Salvationa Doctrine," here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

There are three basic institutions God created for mankind on earth, and together, they only make sense in the context of the Christian Biblical worldview:

Church Government Marriage

According to Scripture, all men have fallen into sin, and in their corrupt hearts, they lust after the things of the flesh, which causes problems for themselves, and for their neighbors. These three have separate functions to oversee sinful people, and bring the wicked into submission.

First, the church is God's spiritual institution for the faithful, by which they can work and fellowship together. The church is exclusive to those who have been born again by repentance and faith in Christ, and those who sin without repentance (i.e. godly sorrow of wrongdoing) are not permitted to remain in the church, that they might one day acknowledge the truth and be converted.

Second, government is God's physical institution to punish evildoers. If there is no such thing as sin, such an institution is meaningless because without good, there is no evil, and without good and evil (i.e. a set of moral standards) under the authority of God, laws are meaningless. All men are commanded to be subject to the government for the purpose of disciplining those who are given over to the lusts of the flesh (theft, adultery, murder, etc), and by God giving rulers authority to punish evildoers, it creates a fear in society that prevents a large amount of sin.
(Read "Everything You Need to Know About Atheism" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

Third, marriage is God's physical institution for individual households. To establish a work ethic in men, to establish discipline for women, to establish a stable environment for children, and to create a safe and loving household that will fear God and do good, an honest marriage is required.

However, without the Christian God of the Bible and the concept of sin, marriage makes no sense. In fact, at that point, marriage (which means "to unite" or "to bond") is no different than a business contract between two parties, and as it turns out, that is exactly how it is defined by our American government.

A marriage license is deceiving because it contains the word 'marriage' in it, but it is actually a corporate business contract, which is created to protect property rights between two parties (i.e. the man and the woman). Marriage licenses have absolutely NOTHING to do with Biblical marriage. This is why a couple, before signing a certificate to apply for a marriage license, can sign a prenuptial agreement (i.e. the word 'prenuptial' means "before marriage"), which can allow them to alter the terms of property ownership in a business contract before they get their license. (e.g. A man might sign a prenuptial agreement with a woman if he believes she is only marrying him for his money; the contract would be an agreement that if the couple divorces, she would get nothing.)

I have a very difficult time getting churchgoers to listen to me on this topic, and a lot of it is due to the fact that most Americans do not have a general understanding of what a contract is, let alone the details of their legal obligations when they sign a contract. This becomes a major problem when they blindly sign a corporate business contract (i.e. marriage license) with their State, and if anyone refuses to hear me out, perhaps they will listen to a statement from a law office:
"When we marry, we enter into a contract... Because so many of our relationships with others are affected by the law of contracts, it is important to know what a contract is, the obligations created by contract, and how contracts may be enforced."
-Fanter & Associates, "Understanding Contracts," F&A LLC, retrieved Oct 10, 2018, [fangerlaw.com/free-legal-information/understanding-contracts]

Signing into a marriage contract with your State gives the public the power to enforce legislation over you and your spouse, as well as any children that may result from that union. A man named Virgil Cooper discovered this surprising truth when he requested information about it from his local county courthouse:
"I asked her [the clerk] to explain to me the general and statutory implications of the marriage license... she deferred for most technical explanations to her assistant... He then explained some of the technicalities of the marriage license. He said, first of all, the marriage license is a secular contract between the parties and the State. The State is the principal party in that secular contract. The husband and wife are secondary or inferior parties. The secular contract is a three-way contract between the State, as Principal, and the husband and wife as the other two legs of the contract. He said, in the traditional sense a marriage is a covenant between the husband and wife and God, but in the secular contract with the state, reference to God is a dotted line, and NOT officially considered included in the secular contract at all. He said if the husband and wife wish to include God as a party in their marriage, that is a 'dotted line' they will have to add in their own minds... He said further that what he meant by the relationship to God being a 'dotted line' meant that the State regards any mention of God as irrelevant, even meaningless... The husband and wife are merely contractually 'joined' as business partners, not in any religious union. They may even be considered, he said, connected to each other by another 'dotted line.'"
-Virgil Cooper, "Marriage Licenses: The Real Truth," retrieved Oct 10, 2018, [usavsus.info/MarriageLicenses-TheRealTruth.htm]

The Lord God blessed Cooper by providing for him a county employee who, not only understood the matter, but was willing to spend the time to help him learn the details. It is very rare to find a county clerk that understands and teaches the base philosophy of these things. The clerk was 100% CORRECT in her assessment of the marriage contract, and it is likely that few readers will fully understand this, so I created a visual chart that will help summarize what the clerk told Cooper:
According to the contract, without the existence of the State, a man and woman cannot be married, and by their definitions, there is no union between the man and woman at all. If any union is claimed by the man and woman, it is only a union which is bound together by the State, but there no such thing as "one flesh" between them in the marriage license. According to the State, the Lord God is meaningless and irrelevant, no matter how much churchgoers whine about it because the State does not care about the personal beliefs of the parties involved, and it is for this reason why it is such a waste of time for hypocritical churchgoers to complain about "gay marriage" because they do not understand what a corporate contract is, and how it works.
(Read "Gay Marriage & Christian Hypocrisy" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

Before anyone decides to metaphorically burn me at the stake for daring to say that the gay marriage agenda is irrelevant, I want readers to understand that I am against gay marriage, but not in the way most churchgoers and pastors are against it. I am against it because it does not exist, which is why I do not waste my time fighting against it, and I will explain more details on that soon.

A website called The Law Dictionary gives us a State definition of marriage, taken from Black's Law Dictionary, and I plead with readers not to skim past this. This is VERY important to understand because this is the language by which the court defines their use of the word 'marriage':

marriage (n): as distinguished [i.e. separate] from the agreement to marry and from the act of becoming married, is the civil status of one man and one woman united in law for life, for the discharge to each other and the community of the duties legally incumbent on those whose association is founded on the distinction of sex
(See 'marriage', Black's Law Dictionary, Free 2nd Edition, retrieved Oct 11, 2018, [thelawdictionary.org/marriage])

I want to emphasize the first line, which says that marriage is "distinguished from the agreement to marry and from the act of becoming married," because in case you did not understand that, it is saying that Biblical marriage has NOTHING to do with the State's definition of marriage. The word 'distinguished' in that context means that the State's definition of marriage is separate or different from the Bible's definition of marriage. In other words, this means that the State considers a "marriage license" to be different "from the act of becoming married," and that the license agreement for marriage is nothing more than a "civil status" (i.e. it's all for show), but not marriage itself.

According to State definitions, a marriage license has NOTHING to do with Biblical marriage.

I will continue to use the terms "marriage contract" and "marriage license," but I want to make sure readers understand that I am only using that phrase in the manner in which the State is using it. I have to use those terms so that people will understand what I am referring to, but I acknowledge that they are not real marriage.

Furthermore, Virgil Cooper learned that children which are produced by a couple under a State marriage contract are considered to be "fruit" of the man and woman. According to the State contract (as indicated in the diagram above), the man and the woman are both individually tied together through the State, and ONLY through the State (i.e. God is NOT a part of the contract), which means the children produced under the marriage contract belong to the primary party and sole authority over the contract. In other words, if you have a marriage license, your children do not belong to God, and they do not belong to you (i.e. the parents), but rather, they belong to the State:
"[The County Clerk] also said that it is very important to understand that children born to the marriage are considered by law as 'the contract bearing fruit' -- meaning the children primarily belong to the State, even though the law never comes out and says so [i.e. says it] in so many words... he said it is vitally important for parents to understand two doctrines that became established in the United States during the 1930s. The first is the Doctrine of Parens Patriae. The second is the Doctrine of In Loco Parentis.
Parens Patriae means literally 'the parent of the country' or to state it more bluntly - the State is the undisclosed true parent. Along this line a 1930s Arizona Supreme Court case states that parents have no property right in their children, and have custody of their children during good behavior at the sufferance of the State. This means that parents may raise their children and maintain custody of their children as long as they don't offend the State... the parents are only conditional caretakers. [Thus the Doctrine of Loco Parentis]"
-Virgil Cooper, "Marriage Licenses: The Real Truth," retrieved Oct 10, 2018, [usavsus.info/MarriageLicenses-TheRealTruth.htm]

The phrase "parent of the country" is an accurate translation of Parens Patriae, but the Latin word parens and patriae can both mean "father," or in other words, parens patriae is "the father of the father." Who is the father of a child's father? In this context, it is not referring to God, nor is it referring to a grandfather, but rather, the father over the child's father is the State.

What this means is that, in a State marriage license, you are only a conditional caretaker for your children (somewhat like an employee of the State), so long as you raise them in a State-approved manner, but if you violate any State's philosophy about how they believe your child should be raised, through a marriage contract, they have reserved the right to take your children away from you. For example, if your child is acting in a rebellious, unruly, defiant, and lying manner, without any repentance, spanking them in discipline would be in accordance with God's Word (Pro 13:24), but it would be grounds for "abuse" according to government regulations, and therefore, by your marriage contract, the State has the right to take your children away from you because, after all, you signed a contract making the State the sole ruling authority over your marriage.

More simply put, through a marriage contract, the State has the right to take away your children for any reason, otherwise known as carte blanche privilege, which is full discretionary power. Some have argued that the government has that power anyway, whether you sign a marriage contract with them or not, and I would agree, but the difference is that when you sign a marriage contract, you gave your word in agreement to their authority over your children, and thus, the Lord God would expect you to abide by your word, keep your contract, and willingly give up your children to the authority you dedicated yourself to serve.

The following author correctly points out:
"When you sign anything that has to do with a state or a local government, there are times when you actually relinquish certain rights. When you sign a marriage contract, you give up your right to educate your children the way you see fit, giving the state authority to educate them and even remove them from you if necessary. Thus you give up your right to educate your own children (depending on the laws of each individual state)."
-Trent Goodbaudy, Freedom from Government: How to Reclaim Your Power, Trent Goodbaudy, 2012, p. 49, ISBN: 9781468196344

When you sign a contract, the government enforces that contract (if it has the manpower to do so), and God also expects you to keep your word (i.e. to uphold your end of the agreement), otherwise you are found to be a liar, and as we have already learned, God hates liars. (Pro 6:16-19) If you sign a contract, then keep it, and if you do not want to keep it, then either do not sign the contract in the first place (i.e. do not get a marriage license), or you need to find a way to dissolve that contract.
(Read "God Does Not Justify Lies" & "501c3: The Devil's Church" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

In Wisconsin, some parents had to discover these facts about their marriage license the hard way, and government officials had to try and cure their ignorance:
"In 1993, parents were upset here in Wisconsin because a test was being administered to their children in the government schools which was very invasive of the family's privacy. When parents complained, they were shocked by the school bureaucrats who informed them that their children were required to take the test by law and that they would have to take the test because they (the government school) had jurisdiction over their children. When parents asked the bureaucrats what gave them jurisdiction, the bureaucrats answered, 'your marriage license and their birth certificates.' Judicially, and in increasing fashion, practically, your state marriage license has far-reaching implications."
-Matthew Trewhella, "5 Reasons Why Christians Should Not Obtain a State Marriage License," Mercy Seat Christian Church, 2012, retrieved Oct 11, 2018, [mercyseat.net/pdfs/marriagelicense.pdf]

I am not going to cover the subject of birth certificates because that is a completely different matter, and I do not believe there is any offense against God on that subject, however, the marriage license is the main place where the government was drawing authority over Wisconsin parents. Their first mistake was signing up for a marriage license, which essentially makes the State the true parents of those children, and the second mistake was putting them in the American public school system, in which they will not learn much of anything, and what little they do learn, they will learn at a very slow pace.

This is why I keep warning Christians not to put their trust in men; meaning that they ought not to just do whatever their pastor tells them to do because they feel like he is trustworthy. Most often, you might believe that pastor has your best interest in mind, but in reality, they are more interested in protecting their religious traditions (and their paychecks) than they are in protecting your family.

Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us.
-2 Thessalonians 3:6

Thus saith the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD.
-Jeremiah 17:5

Some elderly couples got wise to this and chose not to sign a marriage contract, knowing that a marriage license would have left them destitute:
"I have performed wedding ceremonies for couples without marriage licenses—they wanted to be married in the sight of God but didn't care about making it legal. I started doing this when I realized that a great many senior citizen couples in my community were living together after their respective spouses had died. Had they become legally married they would have lost the pension income of a deceased spouse, but on the other hand just 'living together' conflicted with their moral values."
-Dave Stillie, Extreme Surrender: Breaking Free from Futile Religious Ritual to Develop a Real Relationship with God, CrossBooks, 2013, p. 71, ISBN: 9781462728626

The problem with this author, who is a pastor, is that he believes that those couples need him to marry them. The only reason the elderly couples thought there was a moral conflict is because they did not have a pagan ceremony to go along with their word, and the pastor, who thought he was helping them, is only making the problem worse because if he would read this book and confess the truth, he could save those couples of lot of unnecessary time, money, energy, and grief.

As I said before, a "marriage license" is nothing more than a corporate business contract that sets property rights and boundaries between two parties, or in other words, it is not much different than two roommates signing a lease agreement. However, despite that fact, churchgoers lace up their boots and march down the sidewalk with picket signs to defend marriage licenses.

Under normal circumstances, the average churchgoer would never walk down the street with a picket sign to preach the Word of God to saving of souls (Pro 11:30), but they will do it in a hopeless attempt to keep sodomites/homosexuals from getting a marriage contract. The reason I said "hopeless" is because these churchgoers are wasting their time, and that is because they do not understand what a marriage license is, nor do they understand what the State means when they say the word "marriage."

Again, a marriage license and Biblical marriage are NOT the same thing.

Typically, you have two groups of people yelling at each other across the street, and in this instance, both are filled with fools and hypocrites that do not understand this matter enough to be talking about it with anyone. I believe that if both parties could understand what I am about to explain, the fighting would stop, but as it stands, most people on both sides will not listen to me, and the end result is nothing better than watching monkeys in a zoo fling feces at each other.

However, despite the fact that sodomy/homosexuality is sin and hated by God, and despite the fact that I preach against their wickedness, the sodomite/homosexual crowd is MORE in the right on this subject. The problem is that the sodomites do not understand WHY they are more in the right.

First of all, despite how much they want to whine about it, sodomites cannot be married, and that is because marriage was instituted by God, and God made it for a man and a woman. Therefore, a so-called "homosexual marriage" does not exist, and since governments cannot marry anyone (i.e. a marriage license is only a business contract), then it is impossible for sodomites to be married.

Two sodomites can claim to be married to each other, but since God does not allows sodomites to be married, they are nothing more than liars by just professing themselves to be "married." This is why, when I see or hear about homosexual couples getting married, it does not bother me because I know it is not legitimate. Since the sodomites cannot go to God to get a legitimate marriage, they look for a fake "marriage" from the government, pandering to State leaders to allow them to sign a business contract between the two of them, and in blissful ignorance, they think they have an actual marriage, when all they really did was sign a business contract between roommates, which is laughable once you understand it.

Because churchgoers do not understand what a marriage license is, they waste their time going out to fight against the sodomites, and furthermore, churchgoers do not understand that they are essentially fighting against basic Constitutional rights of ordinary citizens. Any citizen of the United States of America has the right to enter into a contract with any other citizen, or the government itself, and so to fight against a U.S. citizen's right to have a business contract with another U.S. citizen is to fight against their First Amendment right.

Why should any churchgoer care whether or not a sodomite wants to make a business contract with his homosexual friend? As a Christian, that is none of my concern. The real problem is coming from the churchgoers on the matter because of their false belief that a "marriage license" is real marriage, and therefore, because of that false belief, they have not only abandoned a Scriptural position, but worse still, they are acknowledging sodomite marriage and giving them false sense of religious importance to their business contracts.

The sodomites have simply told the government that it is unfair and biased to allow only a male and female to sign a business contract together to protect property rights between the two parties. Once you understand that, the argument of the sodomites actually makes sense because it is unfair and biased; anyone should be able to make a business contract if they want. The source of the problem is that everyone is talking past each other over the confusion of what the term 'marriage' means.

One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is to take the words of government law and regulation, and use them in a general or casual context. The words one uses in a contract are extremely important because they have to be interpreted by the context of the contract, and because those words and definitions can be very boring to most people, that is why a lot of people haphazardly sign agreements without reading them. In the legal arena, there are State-approved definitions of words; they are often different than how the public typically uses them, and this also applies to the word 'marriage.'

Let's look at some examples of what actually happens in a hypothetical discussion between churchgoers and the state. Remember that when churchgoers say "marriage," they mean "God's binding of a man and woman in one flesh," but when the government says "marriage," they mean "a corporate business contract between two citizens."


So the churchgoers correctly say that God's binding of a man and woman should be between a man and a woman, but the government also correctly says that people should be free to have a business contract despite gender. Do you see how they are talking past one another? Both statements are actually correct depending on the definition of the word 'marriage', and that is why the debate never ends. (i.e. Most debates are over very quickly if you simply define your terms.)

Remember that the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution says:
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances."
-United States Constitution, "First Amendment," Legal Information Institute, Cornell Law School, retrieved Jan 28, 2020, [law.cornell.edu/constitution/first_amendment]

This means that, in this context, the government CANNOT bring God into the subject matter, and that each citizen has the freedom to practice or not practice any religious belief, so long as it does not infringe on the rights of others. The U.S. government must remain neutral concerning Christian doctrine, and therefore, God has no place in their system of "marriage." If the U.S. government were to acknowledge the argument of the churchgoers, then the State would be declaring an acknowledgment of a particular religion, which would be in violation of the First Amendment, so in short, churchgoers marching around town with their picket signs is a complete waste of time.

Let's look at another example:
Again, both statements are correct; marriage has always been between a man and woman, and business contracts for property rights were not legal for sodomites until now. (This is in the sense of what the marriage license is intended to be; two sodomites could have, at any time, had a lawyer write up the same property rights contract as a marriage license, but just without calling it a "marriage license.") The government is correct that corporate business contracts should be available to all U.S. citizens, despite their gender, race, or creed, and it would be unconstitutional to deny anyone access to it, including sodomites.


Once again, both statements are correct; on this point, I have to agree with the government that God has nothing to do with the business contracts of sodomites, other than the fact that He allows them to make them, and holds them accountable to their words and actions on the Day of Judgment. However, churchgoers speak in confusing terms because they use the word 'marriage' in the context of the Bible, but then try to force the government to superimpose that definition into corporate business contracts of U.S. citizens, and once again, that will NEVER happen because the U.S. Constitution prevents it.

It is sad that there are not just churchgoers, but even some born-again Christians who are walking and talking in ignorance on this matter. My hope and prayer is that the Lord Jesus Christ would see fit to allow me to help some Christian families gain understanding and discernment, and sanctify themselves properly.

But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.
-Hebrews 5:14

I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.
-John 17:14-16

I do not want readers to misunderstand; I am not saying that if you got a marriage license, you are going to hell for it. God is merciful to those who have a contrite spirit, or in other words, they have godly sorrow (i.e. repentance) in their heart for the wrongs they have done.

The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
-Psalm 34:18

Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
-Hebrews 13:5

However, many readers might be asking themselves: "Should I dissolve my marriage license?" In simple terms, I cannot answer that for you for many reasons, but it is important to understand that, just like the word 'marriage', the State has a different definition for the word 'divorce'.

Remember, the word 'marriage' is defined by the government as a business contract, and so a 'divorce' by government definitions would be a dissolution of the business contract. However, because most churchgoers hear the word 'divorce', they believe that by dissolving the marriage license, you are sinning against God, when in fact, they do not understand what a marriage license is.

For example, let's say that an elderly couple has had a marriage license for many decades, and they dissolve that license (which is called "divorce" by the State); they could potentially lose certain retirement funds if one spouse dies because they did not prepare legal documentation to protect their assets. So under that circumstance, I could see a couple not dissolving a marriage license.

In short, I do not believe that Christians should be getting marriage licenses in the first place, because a couple is signing away their God-given authority over their children to the State. However, because the marriage license itself does not hinder the preaching of Christ's doctrine, I would say that the decision is left up to your personal conviction about whether or not you should dissolve the marriage license.

Although, that being said, I think it would be an amazing testimony for a couple to file for divorce (to dissolve the marriage license) and still remain married for the rest of their lives, bound by their word according to God's Word. However, that being said, we would need to be careful about doing such things because we need to abstain from all appearance of evil, and that might appear to be an evil thing according to unlearned churchgoers or young Christians who do not know any better.

Abstain from all appearance of evil.
-1 Thessalonians 5:22

But more important than anything, I believe we Christians should stop teaching the next generation to fall into the heathen snare of religious traditions so they can be sanctified in the Lord Jesus Christ. If it were not for the false teachings of pastors, elders, and preists of many religious institutions around the world, we would not have countless churchgoers diving head-first into paganism and marriage contracts.

Sadly, most churchgoers have been so brainwashed into marriage traditions, they have lost sight of what makes a couple married in the first place. It has gotten so bad that most churchgoers today believe that a couple cannot be married unless they have a State license, but that is simply not Biblical. It should be noted that neither Abraham, nor Isaac, nor Jacob, nor anyone else in the Bible, had a marriage license, and furthermore, neither George Washington, John Adams, nor Thomas Jefferson (the first three presidents of the United States) had marriage licenses, so how did they get married (and stay married) to their wives?

Earlier in this chapter, we read the legal definition of marriage, how it was a "civil status," and thus, if you do not get that "civil status," then you are not allowed to label yourself as "married" on your tax forms. For example, my wife and I never got a marriage license, so any tax documentation we file as "single" because if we filed as "married" (i.e. having a business contract), when we do not have a business contract with a "civil status," would make us liars and we could be prosecuted for tax fraud. (My wife and I do not care whether or not we get tax exemption for our marriage, so we do not need a civil status.)

Because the State has different definitions for 'marriage' and 'divorce', their rules and regulations are going to differ greatly from Scripture. Here are a few examples:

QUESTION ABOUT MARRIAGE	STATE	BIBLE
Is a "bill of marriage" required?	Yes	No
Is an officiant required?	Yes	No
Can you get divorced for any reason?	Yes	No
Can same-sex couples marry?	Yes	No
Can you get a "legal separation?"	Yes	No

A legal separation is when the husband and wife sign a contract agreeing to be separated (like one would normally be separated in a divorce), but the couple is still under the marriage contract by law, allowing them to go out, date, and have sex with other people (i.e. adultery) without violating the business statutes in the marriage contract. Normally, a spouse would have grounds to gain property rights in a divorce based on the infidelity of the other, but under a "legal separation," both parties agree to have relations with other people outside of their marriage. In other words, both the husband and wife agree to temporarily break their marriage vows and commit adultery without having to get into a legal battle over property rights, or even more simply put: It is legal permission to sin.

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate [sodomites], nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
-1 Corinthians 6:9-10

As you can see, the Bible's definition of marriage is VERY different from the State's definition, and once again, they are both using the same word (i.e. 'marriage'), but they both mean two different things. My wife and I wanted to be married by God's rules and authority, not by the State's rules and authority, and since there is no regulation that requires us to sign a marriage license, we made a choice to remain Biblical in our marriage, as you have the same choice to decide who you want as the authority over your marriage and family.


Our ministry does not offer legal advice, so I request that no one write me to ask for legal advice on how to go about dissolving your marriage license if you choose to do that. There may be more than one way to do it, and so if that is something you are convicted to do, contact a law office because many of them will give you a free consultation to tell you what you can do and how they can help. (In some situations, you will have to contact a lawyer because, depending on your State, you may have to file a specific reason for it, and that can bring up unforeseen complications.)

I want to give all readers a note of warning if you decide to remain sanctified, and you refuse to do the pagan wedding traditions or sign up for a marriage license: Be prepared to be shunned by pastors, elders, churchgoers, and even some of your family and friends. My wife and I could tell many stories about how we were condemned, falsely accused, railed at, and shunned by people who once called themselves our "friends," and even to this day, I have family members who refuse to call Lorraine my wife out of their own selfishness and pride, but Lorraine and I love the Lord Jesus Christ more than family and friends.

He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.
-Matthew 10:37-39

It should be a shame and embarrassment to pastors and churchgoers who would shun out a Christian couple for wanting to do what is right in the sight of God, but they glory (i.e. boast of themselves in their own perceived righteousness) in that for which they should be ashamed.

Whose end is destruction, whose God is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things.
-Philippians 3:19

For all born again Christians, I encourage you to stay faithful to the Lord Jesus Christ, and remember that you are not alone. No matter where you are in the world, the family of God is still with you in spirit.

Be ye not unequally yoked [joined, united] together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
-2 Corinthians 6:14-18
(Read "The Biblical Understanding of Sanctification" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

 

I have had many letters over the years asking if a Christian can get divorced or remarried, and a very simple answer to that question would be "No, marriage is for life," meaning that once a man and woman give their word to be married, they are married for life. However, that being said, and despite the fact that I have received a lot of hateful emails for saying this, there are some unique circumstances by which divorce is allowed in Scripture.

Before we cover the details of those circumstances, it is important to understand why God allowed divorce, even though divorce was never meant to exist:

They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
-Matthew 19:7-8

hardness (n): obduracy [persistency in sin], impenitence [absence of repentance, which is grief and godly sorrow of wrongdoing], confirmed state of wickedness
(See 'hardness', American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 1828, retrieved Oct 11, 2018, [webstersdictionary1828.com])

And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
-Mark 10:4-5

Please do not misunderstand, it was not that Moses himself authorized it, but that God allowed it through Moses. (i.e. The name of Moses in Jewish society is often used in reference to God's Law.) God did not create men and women to divorce one another, but because of their hardened hearts (e.g. pride, covetousness, lust, etc) God allowed it.

But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
-Mark 10:6-9

It was because of sin that divorce was permitted under specific circumstances, but if at all possible, a man and woman should never divorce. So Christians need to lay the philosophical foundation that marriage is for life; however, to preserve life and peace, God allowed divorce, and in this chapter, we will take a look at the reasons and circumstances by which a divorce could be Biblically justified.

Earlier, I mentioned that there is no such thing as a "bill of marriage" in Scripture, but there is such a thing as a "bill of divorce," which would be a signed document declaring that a man put away his wife:

And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife;
-Deuteronomy 24:3

Again, it is the hardness of one's heart which causes divorce, in which a person is sinfully minded, and has no repentance (i.e. grief and godly sorrow) of their wicked thoughts, words, and deeds. Please do not misunderstand, this is not permission for anyone to divorce their spouse over a sin committed because there should be wisdom, understanding, repentance, and forgiveness from both men and women in a marriage, but there are certain sinful actions by which a family would be kept safe from an oppressive spouse.

When I have heard other preachers talk about this subject, they often cherry-pick verses, meaning they select single verses without taking all the doctrine together. In the Bible, God instructed us on how His Word is to be studied:

Whom shall he teach knowledge? and whom shall he make to understand doctrine? them that are weaned from the milk, and drawn from the breasts. For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little... But the word of the LORD was unto them precept upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little; that they might go, and fall backward, and be broken, and snared, and taken.
-Isaiah 28:9-13

The phrase "precept upon precept" means we need to take each commandment in correlation with each other, the phrase "line upon line" means we need to read the Scripture in its context, and the phrase "here a little, and there a little" means that the fullness of a doctrine is often not contained in one verse or location throughout Scripture, or in other words, we have to take the doctrine of multiple teachings in its context, with each commandment working together, to gain a full understanding by applying all Scripture together as one. The Bible does not come ordered by doctrine with color coded tabs for easy access, and God designed His Word that way on purpose so that preachers who are false (i.e. who do not have the Spirit of God) will not be able to understand the fullness of His doctrine, and therefore, they will trip over themselves, contradicting themselves in many areas, by which we Christians will be able to tell the true preachers from the false preachers.

This is why cherry-picking Scripture is so commonly done today. Cherry-picking Scripture is when man takes one verse out of its context and, without correlating Scripture, draws a full doctrinal conclusion on one verse alone. Most pastors do not understand the fullness of a doctrine, and often, they are preaching only what they are taught to preach, or attempting to manipulate God's Word to get it to say what they want it to say by using keyword searching on the internet.

For example, a pastor might quote the following verses:

Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
-Luke 16:18

And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
-Mark 10:12

If I quoted these verses to you and immediately walked away, you might end up believing that divorce was not an option for anyone, and that we commit sin if we divorce or remarry. However, as we just read in Isaiah, we need to take all the doctrine in correlation together, and there are four Gospel Books (i.e. Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) for a reason.

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
-Matthew 19:9

fornication (n): the incontinence [uncontrolled passions] or lewdness [indulgence of lust] of unmarried persons, male or female; adultery
adultery (n): violation of the marriage bed; in a scriptural sense, all manner of lewdness or unchastity
(See 'fornication' & 'adultery', American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 1828, retrieved Jan 29, 2020, [webstersdictionary1828.com])

Thus, in Matthew, we have a condition, which means that divorce is wrong, unless one of the spouses in the marriage is fornicating, meaning that he/she is going out to seek sexual pleasure from someone else he/she is not married to. We are commanded to keep sexual activities and pleasures in the bedroom between the married couple, in order that we would avoid the sin of fornication, which is destructive in many ways.

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
-1 Corinthians 7:1-2

In this context, Paul (via the Holy Spirit) is writing about the inward desire that most people have for sexual interaction between a man and woman. This is not speaking in terms of giving your sister a hug, or providing emergency medical care for a woman, but even such things can be a sin if the heart is not pure, and therefore, we should judge ourselves.

For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged.
-1 Corinthians 11:31
(Read "Unbiblical Cop-Outs: 'Don't Judge Me!'" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

Attraction to a man or woman is not itself a sin, but attraction that leads to flirtatious interaction is sinful. Of course, the exception to this rule is if a single man and single woman begin this process, but they should marry in order to avoid fornication, and then while married, they should have no more flirtatious interactions with anyone else.

So when one spouse commits fornication outside of the marriage bed, it is called "adultery." Adultery is actually a form of theft because the body of the husband belongs to the wife, and the body of the wife belongs to the husband.

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence [kindness, charity]: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. [inability to control the lusts of the flesh]
-1 Corinthians 7:3-5

defraud (v): to deprive of right, either by obtaining something by deception or artifice, or by taking something wrongfully without the knowledge or consent of the owner; to cheat
(See 'defraud', American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 1828, retrieved Jan 29, 2020, [webstersdictionary1828.com])

The word 'power' means "authority," so the body of the wife is under the authority of her husband, and the body of the husband is under the authority of his wife. To subject ourselves to this authority is to subject ourselves to the instruction and commandments of God. This is a kind and charitable act, which is why the word 'benevolence' is used in those verses because giving your spouse authority over your flesh must be done willingly with love.

The only time that it would be considered good to refuse sexual intimacy with your spouse would be if both the husband and wife agree to a temporary period of time for the purpose of fasting and prayer. Outside of fasting and prayer, the couple should not refuse each other sexual pleasure, knowing that it is the job of both to keep each other away from fornication and adultery.

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
-1 Corinthians 7:10-11

In terms of every small occasion, in which a fight breaks out between a husband and wife, there is no commandment that allows a couple to divorce over a mere disagreement. In our corrupt American culture, they divorce over every little thing, using the convenient excuse of "incompatibility," and they will not acknowledge that most of their "incompatibility" comes from their wicked hearts, refusing to be reconciled to one another, and ignoring the fact that they sin by divorcing for such childish reasons.

Now that we have a better understanding that God hates divorce, we can now look at the Scriptural circumstances by which a man or woman can divorce, and sometimes, even be allowed to remarry:

In the case where the husband/wife is committing fornication outside the marriage, and will not repent of their sin. In the case where the husband/wife is threatening the safety of the spouse and/or children, and will not repent of their sin. In the case where the husband/wife has been born again in Christ, and the spouse is an unbeliever who departs due to a religious and philosophical disagreement.

We will go over the Scriptural evidence for each point. For the first point, let's read from Matthew 5 again:

It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
-Matthew 5:31-32

When a husband or wife keeps themselves from their spouse, it is not only theft, cheating their spouse out of what rightfully belongs to him/her, but it also causes their spouse to burn in lust, which leads him/her into temptation of fornication and adultery. If a man or woman only has a cheating spouse, and that cheating spouse is getting their needs fulfilled, what hope does the honest spouse have to fulfill the needs of their own flesh?

The important thing we need to remember in Scripture is that God does not justify the wicked, and He has mercy on the poor and needy. God's Word is a shield to protect the poor, the needy, and the suffering.

For the oppression of the poor, for the sighing of the needy, now will I arise, saith the LORD; I will set him in safety from him that puffeth at him. The words of the LORD are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Thou shalt keep them, O LORD, thou shalt preserve them from this generation for ever.
-Psalm 12:5-7

Thus, if a husband or wife is sinning against the marriage in fornication/adultery, and they continue in that sin without repentance or hope of restoring the marriage, then that is a Biblical justification for divorce, and even remarriage, so that the innocent party does not suffer with the guilty, and that the husband or wife who did good in the eyes of God would not have to suffer without the physical intimacy of a spouse. We are not deserving of such great kindness, but because of God's great mercy, He allows this so that the poor and needy are not deprived of what is rightfully theirs by God's law.

The second point, family safety, takes a bit more discernment. This is how God taught us that Scripture is to be read "here a little, and there a little," which means, we have to consider the entire doctrine, not just parts of it.

The typical example given is when a man is physically abusive to his wife and/or children, but as I pointed out in the book I wrote on feminism, in many countries today (including the U.S.), female abuse against males is statistically higher than males against females. However, the grand majority of cases is physical abuse coming from both the husband and wife against each other at the same time. Nonetheless, whether the husband is the abuser, or the wife is the abuser, if the abuse gets violent enough that the spouse and children's safety is threatened, and there is no hope for repentance from the abuser, then a divorce would be Biblically justified.
(Read "Feminism: Castrating America" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

Sadly, there are some corrupt teachers out there who preach against what I just said, claiming that even if the lives of the family are threatened, divorce is worse than death. They preach this because of their ignorance and the hardness of their own hearts, claiming that a man or woman who divorced over an abusive spouse is a sinner, but in a similar manner, there were also false teachers who accused Christ of being a sinner when he healed on the Sabbath day:

And he saith unto the man which had the withered hand, Stand forth. And he saith unto them, Is it lawful to do good on the sabbath days, or to do evil? to save life, or to kill? But they held their peace. And when he had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, he saith unto the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it out: and his hand was restored whole as the other.
-Mark 3:3-5

I want to repeat that question for readers to consider: Is it lawful to save life or to kill? Is it better to protect a life or let someone die? Is it better to depart from the abuser who could kill or permanently injure you and your children, or is it better to risk everyone's lives?

I find it interesting that the phrase "hardness of heart" is often taken by churchgoers to mean that because someone is so unloving in their hearts towards their spouse, that person would divorce their spouse, but it does not make any sense to be taken that way. Why would God allow for divorce if someone wanted to leave their spouse? Or rather, why would God make it lawful to do that which is against the law?

God punishes the hardened heart, and protects those who do what is right. Thus, the "hardness of heart" was meant in the manner that a husband or wife is so wicked in their heart that they refuse to love the other as themselves, to treat the other in the way they would want to be treated, and so God allowed divorce, not as a method of justification for the wicked to give themselves an excuse to do whatever they feel like doing, but as a protection of the poor and needy from the oppression of the wicked who take no thought that they do evil. (Ecc 5:1)

For Christians to understand this more thoroughly, we need to understand the fulfillment of the law of God. Christ fulfilled the law of God, and the entirety of the law can be summarized by the following verses:

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.
-Matthew 22:37-40

Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.
-Matthew 7:12

For example, the law of God makes it clear it is wrong for one man to kill another man:

Thou shalt not kill.
-Exodus 20:13

However, if a man breaks into another man's home in the middle of the night, and the homeowner shoots and kills the man, there was no violation of the law (i.e. no blood for the remission of sin should be shed for the death of the thief):

If a thief be found breaking up, and be smitten that he die, there shall no blood be shed for him.
-Exodus 22:2

So the question is: Why? Why did God make a law, and then make an exception to that law? Again, the answer is that God does NOT justify the wicked, and the law is the knowledge of sin (Rom 3:20), so the law exists to discipline the wicked and protect the innocent.
(Read "Can Christians Kill in Self-Defense?" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

Likewise, when a woman is being beaten to death by her husband and ends up in the hospital, the law exists to discipline the wicked and protect the innocent, and if that man cannot be brought to repentance of his sin, then she can divorce him to protect herself. When a husband is out working hard to provide for his family, and his wife stays home and injures his children in her malice and rage, and comes home to her screaming and throwing things at him, if she cannot be brought to repentance of her sin, then it would be loving to his children to protect them from the wicked woman by divorcing her.

I repeat, the "hardness of heart" refers to those who do evil, not those who do good, and so the "hardness of heart" is not coming from the battered and abused, those who are looking to escape the evil. They are the ones who are often seen as the evildoers because they would divorce their spouse, but rather, the "hardness of heart" are the wicked who have no love in their hearts, and would risk their spouse's life to get what they want.

The final point is when unbelievers, in the hardness of their heart, departs from marriage because they hate the fact that their spouse was saved by Christ. Paul goes on to explain:

For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
-1 Corinthians 7:14-15

If the unbelieving spouse chooses to remain married, then the couple should remain married, but if a husband or wife gives his/her spouse the example of Christ, believing and rightly teaching His doctrine to his/her family, and the unbelieving spouse departs from the marriage for that reason, then let the unbelieving spouse depart. This has happened to many Christians because, once they start to follow Christ, they start cleaning out their lives, and so the clean living of the believing spouse becomes a constant reminder and irritation to the unbelieving spouse who still lives in his/her sin, which results in the unbeliever divorcing the believer.

These Christian men and women are eligible for remarriage because, as Paul states, they are not under bondage of the law of marriage at that point. The bondage of the law he is referring to is when the husband is bound to the wife, or the wife bound to the husband so long as they live:

Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
-Romans 7:1-2

Of course, it would be better that the believing spouse remain single if the unbelieving spouse departs, but if they yearn deeply to have a companion, then let the born again Christian marry another:

But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. For I would that all men were even as I myself. [i.e. Paul would rather they remain unmarried, as he was unmarried.] But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
-1 Corinthians 7:6-9

However, remember that this is only a ONE-TIME condition because marriage is intended to be for life. You can only be born again in Christ once, and so if the unbelieving spouse departs, this is not an excuse that can be used a second time; therefore, if you remarry, pray for the wisdom of God, and choose carefully.

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
-James 1:5

So let's summarize by looking at the three reasons again:

In the case where the husband/wife is committing fornication outside the marriage, and will not repent of their sin. In the case where the husband/wife is threatening the safety of the spouse and/or children, and will not repent of their sin. In the case where the husband/wife has been born again in Christ, and the spouse is an unbeliever who departs due to a religious and philosophical disagreement.

If it is not for one of those three reasons, there is NO Biblical justification for divorce, nor remarriage, and anyone who has done so is found to be a transgressor against the commandments of God. If you have divorced for any other reason, you need to humble yourself, and work as hard as you can to be reconciled with your spouse.

There are also those who have divorced and remarried BEFORE they were born again in Christ, and now having the Holy Spirit, they want to do what is right by Him, or it is possible that a Christian, very early on, may have divorced and remarried before they understood these commandments. What should they do? In those cases, the guilty persons should not make excuses because what they did was wrong, they should repent (i.e. have grief and godly sorrow for wrongdoing), ask forgiveness of God, remain faithful with their current spouse, and go and sin no more, which is what Christ taught:

So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground. And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.
-John 8:7-11

If you have been divorced and remarried, then there is no need to separate from your current spouse, to go back to your former spouses and seek for remarriage. Just stick with the husband or wife that you have now with a humble heart of repentance, give God thanks for His great mercy, and as Jesus told the adulterous woman, go and sin no more.

So as we finish this chapter, let's remember that the best course of action is for one man and one woman to marry, and remain married for the rest of their lives; no divorce at all. If they will live humbly before the Lord Jesus Christ, being kind and charitable to one another, then the Lord God will bless and protect their family, and this is my hope for all young men and women that hope to one day have their own spouse.


 

I did not title this chapter "CAN Christians Date Before Marriage," but rather, "SHOULD Christians Date Before Marriage," and that is because the word 'can' implies your capability to do so (obviously, you have the ability to date), but 'should' implies whether or not it is necessary. Please do not misunderstand, I am not using the word 'should' in the sense that there is Scripture which forbids dating, because there is no place in the Bible where God directly says that dating is wrong, but again, I am using the word 'should' to question the necessity.

In order to understand this, we need to define the word 'date' as it is used in modern society, and I would also like us to learn the definition of the word 'court' which is an older term that most people do not use in America anymore:

court (v): to try to win the favor, preference, or goodwill of: to seek the affections of; woo
date (v): a social appointment or engagement arranged beforehand with another person, especially when a romantic relationship exists or may develop
(See 'date' & 'court', Random House Dictionary, 2020, [dictionary.com]; See also Collins English Dictionary, 10th Edition, William Collins Sons & Co, 2012)

Before we continue, there are two words used in those definitions that should also be defined:

woo (v): to seek the favor, affection, or love of, especially with a view to marriage
romantic (adj): fanciful; impractical; unrealistic, imbued with or dominated by idealism, a desire for adventure, chivalry, displaying or expressing love or strong affection, ardent, passionate, fervent
(See 'woo' & 'romantic', Random House Dictionary, 2020, [dictionary.com]; See also Collins English Dictionary, 10th Edition, William Collins Sons & Co, 2012)

The reason it is so important to define these terms is because the words 'court' and 'woo' are rarely used in our society anymore, and they have been replaced with 'date' and 'romantic'. The word 'court' is focused on winning favor with another person, and is also used in a future tense, meaning that it is something is that being attempted, but the word 'date' includes a definition focused on favor that already exists in the present tense; so whereas 'court' is always used in the sense that the other person has not yet been won over, date is more often used in the sense that the other person has already been won over.

Why is that an important distinction? Because if the person you are trying to win over has already been won over, then why are you not getting married? If they have each other's favor in love, what is stopping them from marriage?

But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.
-1 Corinthians 7:36

The word 'uncomely' in this context means that a man and woman act in a manner towards one another that is not appropriate for normal interactions between two peoples. It often means that they are flirtatious with one another, with heat of passions and sexual desires towards one another, and therefore, if they behave in such a way, they need to either depart from such uncomely behavior, or marry.

So the Bible does not mention anything about dating, but as we just saw, it does talk about a time where there is an uncomely behavior by the man (or woman), which would be a time of wooing, and the difference between 'wooing' and 'romantic' are also very important. To 'woo' someone means that you are working to gain favor and affection, and it is focused on the other person, but to be 'romantic' is more self-serving, in which you are expressing favor and affection, and it is often associated with things that are unrealistic or "idealism," which is to think of things as you want them to be in your imagination, rather than how they actually are.

In short, the older terms 'court' and 'woo' are much more Biblical in their meaning because they are selfless, focusing on the other person, establishing a charitable and reasonable foundation. However, the newer terms 'date' and 'romance' are selfish, focusing on one's own desires, and attempt to create an unreasonable sense of wonderment, which is deceptive in the end.

There are also societal definitions of these terms (i.e. unwritten implications). The word 'court' and 'woo' are considered to be old-fashioned terms that our great-grandparents would have used, but that was also during a better time where it was more generally unacceptable for a man and woman to be living with each other and sleeping together without being married.

Today, the words 'date' and 'romance' are considered to a standard operating procedure that include a lot of steps meant for a married couple, but without actually getting married. So, for example, the average American maintains a philosophy (i.e. a way of thinking) that man and woman go out on a date (e.g. in America, it is typically the "dinner and a movie" scenario), and if they enjoy each others' company, they will go on another date.

After a few of these dates, the typical expectation is that one is invited into the other's home, and they end up proceeding with sexual interaction. Once they have done this, they are considered to be "dating" each other, or the common label is to have a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend." (And please keep in mind that, 70 years ago, this kind of behavior was completely unacceptable in our society, but today, it is commonplace.)

After a certain amount of time passes, they are expected to live together in the same home, and after a certain amount of years pass, the man is expected to ask for the woman's hand in marriage. (Either that, or she accidentally gets pregnant, and then more pressure is put on the man to marry her.) Almost every part of this process should be done AFTER marriage, but because of the lust of the flesh (i.e. romantic idealism and sexual adventure), marriage is becoming more rare, and it is often seen as a cause of problems, rather than a joyful foundation for a healthy and loving family.

In summary, I cannot say whether dating is right or wrong for any Christian to do, because it really depends on what they mean when they use the word 'date'. There is a Biblical philosophy to dating, and unbiblical philosophy to dating, but if we Christians approach the matter with wisdom and understanding, dating is often unnecessary.

Of course, some readers may immediately object, thinking to themselves, "Well, you have to spend time with someone and get to know them before you marry them." That is true, and I have not made any arguments against that, but the question you should ask yourselves is: Do I need to date someone to spend time with them and get to know them? Any two people can spend time with each other and get to know one another, and they can do so without dating, so what purpose does dating serve?

After many years of experience on the matter, after all the mistakes I have made, and after the Lord God being kind and generous enough to teach me the philosophy (i.e. way of thinking) of His doctrine, I have discovered what I believe to be the primary problem with dating in our American society, and that is the fallacious belief that a man and woman must find common interests to be compatible. That is an absurd way of thinking, and I wish someone had taught me this when I was young because it would have saved me a great deal of time, money, hassle, and heartache. If you want a sound, dedicated, and charitable wife/husband, then you need to look for common PHILOSOPHY (i.e. a common way of thinking), not common interests.

Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy [a way of thinking] and vain deceit [lies] , after the tradition of men, after the rudiments [first teachings] of the world, and not after Christ.
-Colossians 2:8

I realize that some readers may be afraid of the word 'philosophy' because they do not understand it, and because it is often implied that philosophy is some technical, hard-to-understand concept, but in reality, it simply means "a way of thinking." Everyone has a way of thinking, which means that everyone has a philosophy for everything they say and do, even if they do not think about their philsophy; so philosophy should interest everyone who wants to gain wisdom and understand.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endureth for ever.
-Psalm 111:10

For example, someone who has a health-based philosophy (i.e. a healthy way of thinking) would find it repulsive to eat at a fast-food restaurant like McDonalds, whereas someone who does not have a health-based philosophy might really enjoy eating at McDonalds. Both people may find a common interest in the enjoyment of eating sandwiches, but their philosophy (i.e. way of thinking) about the fundamentals of health in terms of eating (i.e. why we eat, what is good for the body versus what is flavorful, etc) is what will drive them apart.

In the image below, there are two hamburgers; the left is made without concern for health, and the other is made with concern for health. A man without a health-based philosophy will autmoatically choose the cheaper of the two sandwiches, but a man with a health-based philosophy will be cautious about what he puts into his body, and will pay a higher price to safeguard his health.
The false perception of marriage is that, once you have a husband/wife, the two of you will do everything together, but that is simply not true. In fact, on most days, you will be working individually, apart from each other, because there are various tasks that men and women have to get done on their own in a marriage. There are some exceptions to this depending on the household and careers, but in most cases, a husband and wife will only spend a fraction of their day together, and so common interests are irrelevant when it comes to a healthy marriage, most especially because the general interests of men and women are different.

Men, please consider: If you spend most of your day apart from your wife, you must be able to trust her with your home, children, and finances, so do you want to marry a woman who shares your common interests, or do you want to marry a woman who shares a common philosophy about morals, family, and work ethic? If, God forbid, you end up marrying a woman who is lazy, mean, and/or abusive to your children, will it make a difference if she shares your passion for hunting, games, or mechanics?

Women, please consider: If you spend most of your days apart from your husband, and you are trusting him with your protection, leadership, and financial security, do you want to marry a man who shares your common interests, or do you want to marry a man who shares a common philosophy about morals, family, and work ethic? If, God forbid, you end up marry a man who is lazy, mean, and/or abusive to your children, will it make a difference if he shares your interest in music, cooking, or shopping?

This is not to say that a young man or woman may not find interest in someone who shares the same interests, but the common interests are not important. In fact, many couples discover new common interests as they grow and learn together, which means that personal preferences and interests should not be a foundation for a marriage.

This is why the typical American "dinner-and-a-movie" dating scenario does not help a couple discover their common philosophy, especially since the "wine-and-dine" dating routine is designed to end in fornication. Please do not misunderstand my point; I am not saying it is wrong to sit down to dinner with a man or woman to get to know them better, but rather, I am pointing out the typical purpose of that in American society. I want Christians to understand that, if we face the reality of the situation, the person sitting across the table from you could say anything they want you to hear at that dinner table, and if you are romantically and/or lustfully infatuated enough with that person, you will believe anything they say to you, whether it is true or not, or in other words, you will only get a small and limited amount of information and evidence about that person by eating with them.

In most cases, a person's true philosophy is demonstrated by the little things they do in their daily routines, not by the important events they put heavy emphasis on, such as a date. A man might seem very helpful and gentle on a date, but when the woman marries him, he ends up being angry and abusive in his daily life, or a woman might seem very loving and caring on a date, but once the man marries her, it turns out she only wanted his money; this is all because dating will usually leave us with a "best-behavior" outward impression of the other person, rather than being able to see who they truly are on the inside.

The truth of a person's heart can be observed much more clearly by spending time with them along with their family, friends, and/or co-workers. For Christians, this can be easily done in the context of the church, but if there is no one in your church who you could marry, the question I have most often heard is: How do I meet people?

I want to warn Christians that the worst place you could go to is an online dating service, and I need to make a disclaimer that I am not saying that an online dating service has never brought a couple together. I am sure there are some couples out there who have been married after meeting through a dating service, but those services are not designed to bring people a lasting marriage.

First of all, please consider that online dating services charge a monthly service fee (i.e. a subscription service), while claiming that their goal is to help you find your "soul mate." However, this is NOT their ultimate goal because there is no business on this planet that turns a profit on souls mates, fanciful wishes, and hopeful dreams. The problem with this system is that if the company accomplishes the goal of finding every customer their ideal man/woman, and all their customers marry, the customers no longer need the subscription service, which means the company no longer makes money, and that is why we have to be cautious about purchasing subscription services from companies whose mission statement contradicts their profits, or in other words, when a business's stated goal and bottom line contradict each other, there is a scam. (It does not matter if it is legal, it is still a scam.)

Secondly, these online dating services do not address the philosophical differences between two people. For example, they will have you list out your age, location, body type, eye color, preferences for smoking, drinking, and food, what educational background you have, your "sign" (i.e. horoscope, which is paganism and witchcraft), then they will have you list out all these things for the mate you are looking for, and then go through a list of your personal preferences in music, sports, reading, books, movies, food, and other entertainment.

Of course, certain aspects of a person's hobbies, habits, and interests, can determine some of their philosophy, and you can tell certain things about their character from them. For example, if someone smokes cigaretters, you can determine that they have a philosophy that does not care about their own health, and not only do not they not care about the love ones around them because they are willing to spend a large amount of money, both in current cash, and later in hospital costs, causing much grief to their families, and eventually die to maintain their habit, but due to succumbing to their temptations, it also means they generally lack mental fortitude and dedication, often giving into peer pressure, all of which are bad qualities to have in a spouse. (i.e. I would suggest not marrying someone who smokes; it will save you a lot of heartache in the future.)

Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.
-2 Corinthians 7:1

One of the major problems with two people looking for similar hobbies, habits, and interests is that people always base them on their own personal feelings, drawing pleasure from them, and they will always attempt to justify what they do. In the example of smoking, the previous paragraph I wrote will offend active smokers because they refuse to see how much their habit has corrupted them, and because of their blindness to that, they turn away from those who will tell the the truth (even though honesty is one of the key foundations of good marriage), and turn towards other smokers who can supposedly "understand" one another; which is not to say that they have real understanding, but the problem is that they have the same philosophy, and therefore, they will try to justify one another. (i.e. Smokers share the same philosophy, which is why they flock together.)

If two people get married because they share a similar interest in fishing, that marriage will stand or fall on fishing. If two people build a marriage on a passion for books, then that marriage will stand or fall on books. It is sad that our society has been conditioned to put their faith and hope in the material things of this world, and trusting in the fleeting passions of their own hearts to hold their marriages together.

He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered.
-Proverbs 28:26

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?
-Jeremiah 17:9

Please do not take this the wrong way; these people did not develop a philosophy from their hobbies, habits, and interests, but rather, their philosophy led them to their hobbies, habits, and interests. In other words, a man's way of thinking does not come from his hobbies and interests, but rather, his hobbies and interests come from his way of thinking.

This is one of the primary reasons online dating sites can be dangerous for most people. The romantic infatuation with someone's photograph, in combination with a similar interest in a particular activity, leads someone to develop a relationship in their own imagination before they have met the person in question, and thus, they are developing in their imagination what they want their life and relationship to be like, rather than looking at reality and comparing philosophies.

This is also why there is a repeated pattern in American society of people getting together and doing what they call "hooking up," which is sexual interaction, and then they break up later. They find each other and get together based on a bond of common interest, but then are testing out the physical intimacy of marriage (i.e. fornication, which is sin) to see whether or not they want to be with that person, while never realizing that it is their philosophy (i.e. their way of thinking) that will drive them apart.

But that we write unto them, that they abstain from pollutions of idols, and from fornication, and from things strangled, and from blood.
-Acts 15:20

Of course, I do not want to say that there are no philosophies that you can determine by someone's profile. Indeed, there are some philosophies you can determine by someone's hobbies, or even the photograph they put on their profile.

For example, let's suppose a man contacts a woman through an online dating site, but when he meets her for the first time, he finds out that she hid the fact that she was overweight. There are many women who do this, purposely not showing any photos of themselves from the neck down because they are hiding the truth.

I understand the arguments people might make against me on this one, claiming that I should not be so superficial to draw quick conclusions about someone based on their looks; however, those arguing against me on this are the ones who refuse to judge righteous judgment because the obesity is an outward sign of many inward philosophical problems. First of all, if the woman did not inform the man of her weight class before meeting (especially since women know that many men have a problem with that), and purposefully hid that in her profile, without any further input, we can determine that she is a deceiving person, which means that, in the future, she will lie and deceive to save face.

The woman holds a philosophy in her mind that she should hide the truth and hope for the best, which is not only a terrible idea, but also, before we have analyzed anything else about her, we know that she is not a good candidate for a wife, and I would adivse any man to immediately wish a good night and walk away. You are not walking away because she is overweight, you are walking away because she is a liar, and of course, I know some women might be enraged by my saying that, but wise women understand this well, and they know what I am saying is the truth.

For Christian women, remember that the Proverbs 31 woman, whose value is above rubies, keeps herself in good physical condition because she honors God and her husband with her body:

She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
-Proverbs 31:17

The reason this is said in the book of Proverbs is because there is more to this than just having an attractive body; this has to do with sin, specifically gluttony. The problem is that woman is eventually going to eat a man out of house and home, and she has already proven that she is willing to lie and deceive to get her way, which means if the man does not keep her happy in all things, she will turn on him and bring him to ruin.

At the very least, the woman being overweight demonstrates that she struggles with with self-discipline, which means she will do what is convenient over what is right, and more importantly, that philosophical lack of concern for her own health will eventually pour over to a lack of concern for the health of her husband and children. Her overweight condition is an outward sign of her inward selfishness, laziness, and carelessness, not even taking the time to consider that her own unhealthy and immodest eating practices could one day cause harm to her unborn child in her womb, and later in her life, she can cause many problems that can cost her family a lot of time, money, hassle, permanent injury, and even death through things like diabetes, cancer, and many other illnesses related to poor eating habits.
(Read "The Cure for Cancer" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

I ask readers to consider the following question: Do you think there is any woman who has an online dating profile that says, "Seeking fat man to pass his obese habits onto his wife and children, so they can die of heart attacks?" Obviously, such a legitimate online dating profile would likely not exist because women do not want that for their families, so to women, I would ask: Why should women expect that a man should want that for his family?

I know that some women who read this might accuse me of being "superficial" because they believe such men are only looking at the outside, and let's make sure we understand the meaning of that word:

superficial (adj): concerned with or comprehending only what is on the surface or obvious
(See 'superficial', Random House Dictionary, 2020, [dictionary.com]; See also Collins English Dictionary, 10th Edition, William Collins Sons & Co, 2012)

The problem is that the very women who would accuse me of being superficial are superficial themselves, and they accuse me in their hypocrisy. They want men to judge a woman based on how "nice" she seems on the outside, or perhaps judge her based on her cooking skills in the kitchen, but these are all superficial judgments, and they refuse to acknowledge that, inwardly, she is so self-absorbed in her mind, she cannot discipline herself for the sake of someone else (even her current family or future husband), and if she cannot do it now, before she is married, she will not do it after marriage either because she is superficial, wanting others to ignore the truth and look at her interests, meaning that she is only thinking of her own selfish desires.

Be not among winebibbers; among riotous eaters of flesh [meat]: For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags.
-Proverbs 23:20-21

The way of the slothful man is as an hedge of thorns: but the way of the righteous is made plain.
-Proverbs 15:19

Let's flip that around for a moment and ask women: Do you want to marry a lazy man who sits around playing video games all day? He might have a handsome face, but does that matter when it comes to providing for your and your children?

Most Americans are blind to the fact that their sinful habits are a direct reflection of their philosophy, and the evidence speaks for itself without having to know the finer details of his/her experiences. Even if they try to mask it in basic conversation, their words will match the philosophy of their hearts, because the words a speaks (or writes or types) comes from the heart.

But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.
-Matthew 15:18

In summary, a list of hobbies, habits, and interests might be useful as warning signs for bad philosophies, but that does not mean they can determine the good philosophies. For example, a man might list "The Bible" as one of his interests, but that does not automatically mean he studies it, it not mean he understands it, and it does not mean he has the Holy Spirit in him.

Hobbies and interests cannot help you determine if a man or woman has the core philosophies of a good marriage. One of the major reasons online dating fails so often is because once two people meet under the pretense of hobbies, the hopeful attraction they create in their imaginations turns sour when they get to know the philosophy of the other person.

Live Science reported on a study in which professors from various colleges were hired by online dating services to investigate why "their users got very unhappy very quickly with online dating, and why dates "took a dive" after the two people met:
"A new study of romantic relationships finds that as online daters got to know another person over time, their initially sweet notions turned sour. The researchers suggest that inflated expectations can lead to major disappointments when daters meet in person. Once a flaw is spotted, the whole date is tainted."
-Jeanna Bryner, "Online Dating: Why It Fails," Live Science, Feb 12, 2007, retrieved Feb 4, 2020, [livescience.com/4348-online-dating-fails.html]

This study supports everything I have taught so far, but the problem is that Live Science is an atheistic/evolutionary-based organization, which means they reject the knowledge of sin, and they will not be able to fully understand what makes a good foundation for a marriage. They reject the Christian God of the Bible who has has the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom to maintain a marriage, and therefore, they might provide some useful statistical information, they will not be able to fully understand or interpret that information, nor will they fully understand why people react the way they do.
(Read "Evolutionism: Another New-Age Religion" & "Everything You Need to Know About Atheism" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

In the study, the first thing they noted was that the expectations of the two people were initially too high, and based on the context of the article, it seems this was based on physical characteristics. The common fallacy that a man and woman should get married because they are physically attracted to one another, but as I stated earlier, the reason you marry your spouse will be the determining subject surrounding a discussion in the case of a divorce, or more specifically, if they married each other based on their physical appearances, once that physical appearance starts to wrinkle and grow old, they will divorce over physical appearances as well.

I am not saying it is wrong to have pretty or handsome features, but in reality (i.e. outside of romantic delusions), those things do not serve much purpose in a marriage, and it should be noted that there are many physically attractive people that have ridiculous and corrupt philosophies that would make them awful candidates for a husband/wife. I can remember meeting some women who I thought were absolutely gorgeous, but I became nautious once I started talking with them because of their arrogant demeanor and wicked philosophies, and my wife could tell you of some men she has met in the past who were very handsome, but she found them repulsive once she started to learn how they lived and what they believed.

The idea that a woman who is pretty will automatically be a good wife, or a man who is handsome will automatically be a good husband, is just fantasy based on the lusts of the flesh, and Christians ought not to live in the fantasy of romantic imaginations.

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.
-1 John 2:15-17

Marriage really comes down to a "live by the sword, die by the sword" type of philosophy, meaning that if you marry based on looks, you will divorce based on looks. Marriage has to be founded on something more solid, that does not pass away with time.

Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away.
-Matthew 24:35

The Live Science study also brought up another serious problem in what they called "fibs." For example, a man would "fib" if he choose to upload a photo of himself that would cover up his lack of height, or a woman would "fib" if she choose to upload a photo of herself at her "best angle" to distort her overweight figure.

fib (n): a small or trivial lie; minor falsehood
(See 'fib', Random House Dictionary, 2020, [dictionary.com]; See also Collins English Dictionary, 10th Edition, William Collins Sons & Co, 2012)

The word 'fib' is slang, and it is suspected that it originated from the word 'fable', which is a fictitious story. In short, people who use the word 'fib' are trying to cover up the word 'lie' because those who tell "fibs" are actually liars and deceivers, and a 'fib' is trying to make the lie into something unimportant, when, in fact, is someone lies, it is a VERY important matter.
(See 'fib', Online Etymology Dictionary, retrieved Feb 4, 2020, [etymonline.com/word/fib])

These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
-Proverbs 6:16-19
(Read "God Does Not Justify Lies" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

So what I want readers to think about is ff a person lies to you before he/she have met you, what makes you believe that he/she will not keep lying to you after he/she is married to you? A marriage that is founded on lies will also end based on lies.

Honesty is the most important foundation of marriage, and when someone ruins that foundation on the first date, it destroys all hope for a stable marriage. Lying is sin, and liars often flock to one another because liars tend to ignore lies and help other liars justify their sin, which means that when they get married, they will never be able to work through any problems and/or disagreements because they cannot be honest with themselves, let alone be honest with each other.

For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged.
-1 Corinthians 11:31

A wicked doer giveth heed to false lips; and a liar giveth ear to a naughty tongue.
-Proverbs 17:4

In chapter 2, we learned about the Biblical requirements of marriage, and how the only requirement is the couple giving their word to one another that they are husband and wife, which means that the most important foundation of a marriage is honesty, and that requires that a man and woman have a philosophy based on the truth. If a man gives his word to be a woman's husband, but he is a liar, how can he be trusted? If a woman gives her word to be a man's wife, but she a liar, how can she be trusted? Sadly, most American churchgoers are under the illusion that their marriage license (i.e. a piece of paper) binds them together in marriage, or that their rings (i.e. a piece of metal) binds them together, but the truth is that a marriage must begin with a promise in the sight of the Living God, and that promise must be maintained out of love and charity according to God's Word, otherwise, there will be consequences, both in this life, and after death.

And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment:
-Hebrews 9:27

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
-Galatians 6:7

In the context of courting, it can sometimes be difficult to determine if the other person has an honest philosophy, and that is because big events or special occaasions (e.g. a first date) can influence a person to act apart from his/her daily philosophical routine. For example, let's suppose a man is typically lazy and deceitful, meaning that he often shows up late or just does not keep his appointments, but he won the lottery, and in order to collect his ten million dollar prize, he had to be at a certain place at a specific date and time.

Of course, he really wants that money, so the man not only shows up well-dressed and on time, but he even shows up early to the meeting. The question we need to consider is this: Did the man's philosophy change overnight, or did he only temporarily deviate from his philosophy because he wanted to claim the money? Of course, the man's philosophy did not change, and he only changed his behavior for one day for a special event, and likewise, this is often the superficial manner in which dating is done in America.

Let's suppose a woman shows up to a date night on time, does does her hair and wears a pretty outfit: Is she doing these things because that is her philosophy, or is it because she wants a free dinner at the man's expense? How could you tell the difference? If there is a selfish motivation involved, it can sometimes be difficult to tell if a person has a good moral philosophy, or if they are just playing a role to impress the other person, similar to how a politician might put on a show when running for office, but you do not find out until later that it was just a superficial song and dance to get your vote.

In short, when a situation is potentially pleasurable or profitable, people more often tend to be on their best behavior, but will they act the same way in unprofitable, unpleasureable, and casual situations? Just because a person might keep their word on a date does not automatically mean they live that way on a daily basis, and where the rubber meets the road (i.e. where we find the truth in practice) is with the little things in life that seem insignificant, not with grand ceremonies (i.e. dates) with a call to impress.

With that understanding there are very important questions Christians should consider:

How does the other person treat their family? What kind of things come out of their mouth when they are spending time with friends? What kind of people do they keep company with? When he says he is going to be somewhere, does he keep his word? When she says she is going to do something, does she keep her word?

Please do not misunderstand because I am not saying that we must look for flawlessness in any person, but you should pay close attention to how they react when something goes wrong. If the person you are interested in fails to keep their word, take note of their response: Does he/she act casually about the situation? Did he/she take the matter seriously? Was he/she apologetic or did he/she make excuses?

Over decades of experience I have had interacting with others, and watching others interact among themselves, I have noticed that most people have a very casual, almost completely uncaring attitude about being honest. That is why they often use words like 'fib' and phrases like "white lie" to cover the truth about their wrongdoing. Many times, I have heard people say, "Oh, I forgot," or "Oh, I had this other thing I had to do," or "Oh, I just got so busy," but all of those are just excuses for lying (i.e. giving their word and not keeping it). There is nothing wrong with explaining a situation, especially if there was an emergency of some sort, but whether or not something came up, it was still a lie if that person did not fulfill their promise; it was still a sin against God, and whether or not that person holds themselves accountable to what they say is a major factor in whether or not they will be a reliable spouse who will honor their marriage for life.

Keep thy foot when thou goest to the house of God, and be more ready to hear, than to give the sacrifice of fools: for they consider not that they do evil. Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.
-Ecclesiastes 5:1-2

If you want to learn more about this subject, I highly recommend reading a teaching called "God Does Not Justify Lies" here at creationliberty.com because I explain a lot more details there, like how churchgoers lie all the time in their casual conversations, and they just make excuses for themselves. In this particular passage, God is explaining to us that often, people just go through the motions, like in the religious context of them going to the temple to offer sacrifices, appearing outwardly to be righteous, but inwardly, they do not consider (i.e. they do not think about) the fact that they do evil, that they might change their evil ways.

In both dating and marriage, when someone does not keep their word, they often do not consider that they lie, meaning that they have spoken evil in dishonesty. Because of this, they often will not confess the lie, but excuse it away; remaining willingly blind that they afflicted (i.e. grieved) others by their lie, and the Bible says that those who do such things HATE the person they lied to (or lied about):

A lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it; and a flattering mouth worketh ruin.
-Proverbs 26:28

afflict (v): to grieve or distress the mind or body
flatter (v): to praise falsely; to raise false hopes by representations not well founded; to please; to soothe
(See 'afflict' & 'flatter', American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 1828, retrieved Feb 4, 2020, [webstersdictionary1828.com])

Would you want to marry someone who inwardly hates you and deceives you?

Perhaps a husband might say what time he is coming home for dinner, but he decides later to change his plans, and never calls his wife to let her know plans changed; that alteration of what he originally said makes him a liar, and his lack of consideration to her grief and pain, ignoring her expectation and preparation for his arrival, demonstrates that he hates her. Some readers might consider such a thing to be minor, but if you talk with women who have lived with a husband who constantly lies, they will tell you it is no small matter. He might even try to use flattering and generic words like "I love you," but those words mean nothing coming from a liar who does not keep his word, and furthermore, that is something the woman should have taken the time to notice about him BEFORE she agreed to marry him.

A wife might say she will be responsible with her spending, but the next time she goes to grocery shopping, she picks up more unnecessary trinkets; that action makes her a liar, and her lack of consideration of his grief and pain, ignoring his love and dediation to provide for her and the family, demonstrates that she hates him. Some readers might consider such a thing to be minor, but if you talk with men who have lived with a wife who constantly lies, they will tell you it is no small matter. She might even try to use flattering and generic words like "I love you," but those words mean nothing coming from a liar who does not keep her word, and furthermore, that is something the man should have taken the time to notice about her BEFORE she agreed to marry him.

Readers should take caution because these lying habits can heavily afflict children. If you marry someone who lies, and you ignore the lies, then the children will learn to do the same thing (i.e. lie, and ignore lies) by following the example of the parents. If you cannot trust someone to be honest when you meet them, there is no reason to trust they will be honest in marriage, and furthermore, there is no reason to trust they will be honest in raising children either.

Words are meaningless if you do not keep them.

I can completely understand the desire to forgive someone, especially when you are developing an intimate relationship with that person, because someone who has been forgiven many things by Christ will want to be forgiving and understanding with the person we plan on marrying (Luke 7:47), but forgiveness without repentance (i.e. grief and sorrow of wrongdoing) is just living a lie. Over the years, I have repeatedly heard churchgoers say that we should forgive no matter what, quoting Matthew 18 as their Scriptural evidence:

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
-Matthew 18:21-22

The problem with this is that they are not reading all the Scripture, they are only cherry-picking these verses. As we learned in the last chapter, God said His Word is to be read "here a little and there a little," meaning that we need to take correlating Scripture and applying it together for proper interpretation.

But the word of the LORD was unto them precept upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little; that they might go, and fall backward, and be broken, and snared, and taken.
-Isaiah 28:13

So let's read the correlating verses from Luke 17 for more details:

Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.
-Luke 17:3-4

Again, I can understand the desire to be forgiving and patient with another person who you have strong feelings towards, but forgiveness without repentance is a one-sided relationship, which is one of the reasons why the Lord Jesus Christ does not forgive those who do not have repentance of their sin.

I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.
-Luke 13:3

Please do not misunderstand; this does not mean we should be cruel to anyone, as we should be charitable even to our enemies, as God is kind and generous even to those who hate Him:

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
-Matthew 5:44-45

However, God does not bring the unrepentant into His home, and if you choose to do that, it will likely end very poorly. Of course, if your lust takes over your reason, you can roll the dice and take a chance with that person, but once the lust of the eyes wears off, and the thrill of the new waxes cold, the truth in that person's heart will come out, and misery will following because you will find yourself stuck in a marriage with a lazy, uncaring, dishonest spouse, who will likely turn you into a divorce statistic in due time.
(Read "Feminism: Castrating America" here at creationliberty.com for more details on divorce statistics; women are the initiators of divorce to break up the family 2:1 over men in the U.S.)

I want young men and women to understand that there will always be bumps in a marriage because there will be arguments, and it happens to everyone, but two people who have a strong foundation in honesty, keeping their promise of marriage for the sake of the Lord Jesus Christ, humbling themselves in fear of God and His judgment, can work hard to gain understanding and exercise charity between one another. If a Christian wants to learn to be a charitable person, as the Lord Jesus Christ has called us to be, then the practice of charity at home should be the first step.
(Read "The Biblical Understanding of Charity" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

However, if one (or both) of the parties (husband and/or wife) do not have a philosophy of honesty in Christ, and they lift themselves up in the wicked pride of their hearts, then the marriage becomes a miserable existence. The pride of the heart blinds them to their guilt, and so they seek to escape their miserable existence, knowing that there are only three ways to get out: suicide, murder, or divorce. (You can probably guess which path most people choose to take.)

Though beauty and confidence creates desire the hearts of young men and women, few of them are taught to reason the matter out and look for particular good characteristics in a spouse. Over the years, I have taught three things that can be relatively hard to find, but are the qualities of a good husband/wife:

Honesty. Listen to the other person and watch them carefully. Ask yourself: Do they keep their word? Is their word important to them? Do they express grief when they fail to keep their word? (Read "God Does Not Justify Lies" here at creationliberty.com for more details.) Humility. Ask yourself if they are patient and apt to learn and/or teach, and judge themselves openly. (1Co 11:31) Pridefulness and high-mindedness in family, friends, work, or hobbies is always a sign of destruction to come. (Pro 16:18) A humble heart considers others before him/herself (Mat 7:12), and that is a good foundation for an honest, loving marriage. (Read "The Biblical Understanding of Pride" here at creationliberty.com for more details.) Hard Working. This goes for both men and women. Ask yourself if they have a good work ethic. Whatever they put their hand to, they give it their best effort (Ecc 9:10), and they work as if they did it directly for the Lord Jesus Christ. (Col 3:23-24) (Read "The Christian Work Ethic" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

Perhaps you expected more than this, due to the endless array of marriage books and seminars on the market, claiming they will teach you "10 ways to improve your marriage" or "7 warning signs when you are dating," but those are just marketing tools to help sell more products. I have read many books on marriage and dating because I used to study them avidly, but after thorough study of Scripture, and through much experience, I can tell you that they are a waste of your time and money, and I will cover more details on that in chapter seven.

Please note that in order to determine if someone is honest, humble, and hard working, dating is not necessary. It is much easier to see these things by spending time with them in a group setting, with family, friends, or (better yet) the church. However, long before looking for these qualities in someone else, we ought to judge ourselves first, lest we be hypocrites who might look to marry someone who is honest, humble, and hard working, without first making sure that we are honest, humble, and hard working.

Judge yourself first. If you want to see a quality in your future husband/wife, then you should first discipline yourself to have that quality.

If you want your spouse to be honest with you, then discipline yourself to make sure you are honest in everything you say and do. I find it amazing that the saying "opposites attract" has been spread around so commonly in American society, but it does not make any sense because attraction comes with similarity in philosophy, not opposite philosophy.

If you want your spouse to be a good listener, then train yourself to listen to others; if you want your spouse to eat healthy and stay fit, then make sure you first change your eating habits and exercise regularly. Demanding that someone else amend their ways if you have not amended your own only makes you a hypocrite.

hypocrite (n): one who feigns to be what he is not; one who assumes a false appearance
(See 'hypocrite', American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 1828, retrieved Feb 6, 2020, [webstersdictionary1828.com])

And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.
-Matthew 7:3-5

Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
-John 7:24
(Read "Unbiblical Cop-Outs: Don't Judge Me!" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

The Lord Jesus Christ calls us to clean out the inside (i.e. our wicked hearts), that the outside would be clean also. We have no need to try and make the outside pristine while the inside is corrupt; first cleanse the inside, and the outside will reflect that automatically.

Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess. Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also.
-Matthew 23:25-26

Since I am a man, I want to address young men specifically by saying that I understand the hurt most young men feel when they do not have a woman in their life. I understand the longing in your heart, and that is why God said "it is not good that the man should be alone" (Gen 2:18), but you must understand that there are many wicked women out there who will take advantage of you given the oppotunity; therefore, you need to learn to control the lust of the flesh, keep the reasoning of your mind in the driver's seat, and call upon those who you know to have wisdom and understanding to help you if needed.

To young women, I am sure most of you are aware that there are men out there who will try to take advantage of you, so since women are the weaker vessel (1Pe 3:7), call on some help to protect yourself. If you meet a man who you are interested in, find another man in your life who you know to have wisdom and understanding (e.g. father, brother, church member, etc), introduce him to the wise man, and later, get that wise man's feedback about him because men will be able to analyze the situation objectively, without emotions involved, and that will help you see more clearly.

A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:
-Proverbs 1:5

Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.
-James 3:13

For young men, please understand that women can be subtle, and so there is no shame in going to someone who you know to be a wise woman (e.g. mother, sister, church member). Ask the wise woman if you can introduce this woman to her, ask if she will listen to her and make a good judgment, giving feedback later in private, because whereas we men can sometimes be blinded by beauty, women do not have that same problem, meaning that women know how women are, and can see through them more easily.

Of course, the most common question I have heard from young Christians is this: As a Christian, how do I meet singles?
The answer to this finally occured to me after ten years of marriage, and wish I had understood this as a young man. If you want to meet other single men or women who have a philosophy of honesty, humility, and hard work, or in other words, if you want to find someone who would be a charitable husband or wife, then go find them in places that do charitable works.

This is so ridiculously simple, but it is something I was never taught: If you want to find a charitable spouse, then be a charitable person. True works of charity to the poor and needy does not stand on pretense, meaning that it is honest, hard work that is selfless, and requires a humble heart to do consistently.

Whether you volunteer at a soup kitchen, or if you are helping with clean up and construction after a disaster, you are going to mostly be working with other people who have a philosophy of honesty, humility, and hard work. Even if you do not meet someone directly, you might meet someone indirectly, because a father or mother who is honest, humble, and hard working also raise sons and daughters who are honest, humble, and hard working.

Many times, I have looked back on my life and wish I had lived more faithfully towards God when I was younger. I lived so selfishly when I was young, and neither my parents, my school, nor my church taught me the philosophy by which I should live, and because of that, I ended up suffering a lot of heartache from being involved with women I should have never had anything to do with. Today, I understand that God put the desire to have a wife into my heart, and since He put that desire there, I should have been faithful that He would fulfill that desire one day, so what I should have done from the start is clean out my own life, working hard and being charitable to others, while rejecting women who lived in their sin.

Again, I am not saying that we should look only for flawlessness, because such a man/woman does not exist, but to have these three principles as the core foundation of the heart is very important for marriage. A husband and wife must be humbled to admit the truth, and through that honesty with one another, they can work hard to amend themselves and fix the problems that will arise, and through that honesty, humility, and hard work, any couple learn and grow together in peace and harmony with each other for their entire lives.

There is another cultural problem I want to address, and that is about age difference; meaning that, in America, it is generally expected that a man must marry a woman his own age. I am not saying there is anything wrong with marrying someone your own age, but we have to consider that men and women have different roles that serve different purposes, and those purposes function better at different age ranges.

For example, in the Bible, it was not uncommon for men to live alone into their 30s and 40s, slowly building up enough wisdom, knowledge, and resources to be the leader of a household and provide for his family; whereas a woman's primary function is to bear children, raise them, and care for the household, and so it was not uncommon for her to marry earlier, in her teens and 20s, when she is more fit for pregnancy. However, in American society, it is more typical for a young man, without much wisdom, knowledge, or resources, to marry a young woman who was not properly prepared by her mother to be a wife and run a household, and thus, after the post-wedding passions settle down, both of them often react in anger and confusion towards one another in fear because neither of them know what they should be doing.

The modern American philosophy of instant gratification (i.e. "I do not want to wait; I want it now!"), is what causes men to jump into marriage before considering what his responsibilities are; often following the lust of the flesh instead of acknowledging the truth. On the other side of that coin, the feminist philosophy has further destroyed his opportunity to have a loving, obedient wife who, with faith in Christ, willingly gives her husband the authority over their household, and so I caution young men that they should take careful consideration of the philosophical foundation of a marriage before courting a woman because, knowing that marriage is for life, moving too quickly without faith in the Living God could have dire consequences, no matter how many "good intentions" you might think you have at the start.

I have another book called Feminism: Castrating America, and I would highly recommend that young men and women read that book before getting into courtship. The American media has had a huge influence in corrupting the minds of young men and women, turning them away from the truth of God's Word, and that book will help Christians expose the deception of what they are seeing and hearing in the news, books, movies, music, and magazines.

For the males, I would say that if God has given you understanding, and you have adopted a philosophy of honesty, humility, and hard work, then you should stand confident that your strength as a protector, provider, and leader of your household is valuable to a woman, and there is no reason to compromise those virtues pair of pretty eyes. Stand firm on faith in Christ, building up the knowledge and resources you need to provide for a household, clean out your own heart, be charitable, and He will reward you for it in time, sending you a woman who is also honest, humble, and hard working, that you and your family would be blessed in marriage.

For the females, I would say that if God has given you understanding, and you have adopted a philosophy of honesty, humility and hard work, then you should stand confident that your soft touch as a caretaker, lover, and mother is valuable to a man (Pro 31:10), and there is no need to compromise those virtues just because he gives you lavish gifts and compliments. Stand firm on faith in Christ, building up the understanding you need to run a household, clean out your own heart, be charitable, and He will reward you for it in time, sending you a man who is also honest, humble, and hard working, that you and your family would be blessed in marriage.

For those young men and women who are born again in Christ, remember that He has taught us if we will seek first the kingdom of God, meaning that we study and do the good works He has called us to do, He will add unto us all that we need:

Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
-Matthew 6:31-34

Just be vigilant, and most of all, patient. Understand what marriage is, and what your responsibilities are. Train yourself today, each and every day, from morning to night, to do that which is good unto the Lord Jesus Christ, so that you will be ready for tomorrow when you meet the man/woman you will marry.

In summary, I would say it is not wrong to date, so long as it is done in a Biblical context, but if you understand the things I have written in this chapter, and you do what is right by God, in most instances, you will not have to date. For example, my wife has told me that she knew she wanted to marry me very soon after she first met me, and she based that on my conversation, namely, how I talked about the Lord God, family, honesty, and other philosophical principles; those qualities were already attractive to her because that is what she was working on having in herself.

In the Bible, there is no mention, or even hint, of dating because when two people were prepared to do right by God, dating was not necessary. There was betrothal, which was a verbal contract of future marriage, but 'dating' is nowhere to be found. For example, a woman (i.e. Rebecca) was selected for Isaac to be his wife, and the following happened after she was brought to him:

And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming. And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel. For she had said unto the servant, What man is this that walketh in the field to meet us? And the servant had said, It is my master: therefore she took a vail, and covered herself. And the servant told Isaac all things that he had done. And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.
-Genesis 24:63-67

Where was the "dinner-and-a-movie" dating scenario? Where was the proposal and engagement rings? Where was the ceremony with dresses and cakes? Where was the marriage license? Where was the fancy wedding feast?

The fact is that they saw each other, they were interested in each other, they talked together for a while, and because they were cousins, they knew they were both raised with the same philosophy in the Living God, which made them compatible. She was beautiful and kind, and he was strong and resourceful, so in faith to God, they gave each other their word to be husband and wife that evening, went to bed together, and were married the rest of their lives.

Isaac and Rebecca had a son named Jacob, and let's look at what happened between him and Rachel:

And while he yet spake with them, Rachel came with her father's sheep: for she kept them. And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother's brother, and the sheep of Laban his mother's brother, that Jacob went near, and rolled the stone from the well's mouth, and watered the flock of Laban his mother's brother. And Jacob kissed Rachel [not romantically, but as courtesy of finding a family member], and lifted up his voice, and wept. And Jacob told Rachel that he was her father's brother, and that he was Rebekah's son: and she ran and told her father... And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee [Laban] seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter.
-Genesis 29:9-18

Jacob and Rachel knew they wanted to marry each other in the span of time it would take to water a flock of sheep, so much that he was willing to work seven years before taking her as his wife (and ended up working 14 years), being patient, and trusting in the Lord. (Rachel was also patient to faithfully wait.) My point is that dating was not necessary for either of them because, when they experienced an attraction, and they found they had the same philosophy, they were ready.

This not to say that two Christian cannot date because, depending on the circumstances, it might be necessary to take more time to get to know each other's way of thinking. We live in a vastly different society than they lived in shortly after the worldwide flood in the days of Noah. However, dating outside of the primary goal, which is to determine someone's philosophy and virtues, is just vanity (i.e. a waste of time).

I hope that, if the Lord Jesus Christ is willing, these things may help other Christians to understand the fullness of this matter, that you would be richly blessed in your marriages. Sadly, there are many Christians today who suffer in their marriages because they were foolish early in their lives, and I have met many who wish they had known these things when they were young, so they could have made wiser decisions for the sake of God, their spouses, and their children.


 

Over the years, I have received a lot of questions from people who are curious about the Biblical approach to marriage, and what to do without all the pagan ceremonies and licenses. The following are the most common questions I have received, and I hope this chapter will be helpful to ease the concerns of nervous and doubtful Christians, so they can live boldly and faithfully in their own marriages.

Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.
-Hebrews 13:5-6

If a husband and wife do not get a marriage license from the State, how can they buy property or own a home?

Let me return a question to help answer that: How does anyone buy property or own a home? Why would anyone think that buying property or owning a home is somehow different after you marry? Once you understand the basics about property ownership, it will become clear that this question does not make any sense.

Let's say two fishermen wanted to buy a small piece of riverside property to fish on together; can they both be co-owners of the property? The answer is: Yes, they can. In fact, not only can they own land together, they could co-own a boat, a house, a car, or anything else that is considered 'property' according to legal definitions.

So my question is: Why would anyone believe that being married without a license prevents two people from owning property together? People do this all the time, everyday, in many countries, and the only answer I can come up with is that the brainwashing of churchgoers by pastors has gone so deep, most churchgoers now think you have to have a marriage license to do anything.

For example, standard car titles in the U.S. automatically come with two blank spaces to sign for co-ownership if necessary, and husbands and wives (with or without a marriage license) still co-sign to co-own their cars. Whether you have a marriage license or not, you still have to sign co-ownership, so the question remains: Why do you need a marriage license to buy or own property?

Remember what we learned earlier, that a marriage license is a business contract that protect property rights, and so I believe there is another, more fundamental question that people are trying to ask, and that is: If a spouse dies without a marriage license, what happens to the property?

Of course, under a marriage license, the property is automatically willed to the spouse in most cases, but without a marriage license, you are responsible to will your property to your spouse. For example, I put my wife's name on everything I own (e.g. land, vehicles, etc), and I have a will made out that gives all my property to her first in case I die and she is still alive, so in the case that the Lord God permits me an untimely death, Lorraine will be fully cared for, and she will have legal proof that the property belongs to her.

Anyone can do these things, and it is not that hard, but if you are really nervous about the matter, then contact a law office and request a free consultation to discuss what they can do for you to secure your property together. Once you learn the basics, you will understand that the whole matter is quite simple, straight-forward, and easy to do.

How do you file income tax returns if you don't have a marriage license?

Before answering that, there is a more important question: Is there a law that requires you to file an income tax return? Most Americans do not realize that there has never been a law requiring you to file a income tax return, and there is a lengthy history behind why that is case. Since I do not cover that topic on this website, I would suggest watching the documentary "America: Freedom to Fascism," by the late Aaron Russo, and that will give you a lot more details about it.

If any married couple reading this decides that you are not going to do any research into that subject, and you insist on giving up your Constitutional rights by filing an income tax return anyway, then if you do not have a marriage license, do not file under "married" status; rather, each of you should file as "single." Of course, there are some churchgoers who will false accuse you of lying if you file as single when you are married, but again, the problem is that churchgoers are using the general defintion of marriage, whereas the State is using the LEGAL definition of marriage.

On the income tax form, the U.S. government does not care if you are married or not; they only care if you have a marriage license, which is a corporate business contract. Remember that, in chapter 3, we covered the legal definitions of the terms used by the courts concerning marriage, and law dictionaries directly say that a marriage license has nothing to do with actually getting married. Thus, when they ask if you are filing as "single" or "married," they are simply asking whether or not you have a business contract (i.e. marriage license) with the State, and so by filing "single," you are not lying; you are simply telling them that you do not have a corporate business contract with the state (i.e. what they call a "marriage" license).

There are some churchgoers who get upset that they will not get a special tax exemption for having a marriage contract with the State. However, if having tax exemption is more important to them than being right with the Lord Jesus Christ, then those churchgoers are no different than the greedy pastors who denounce the authority of Christ by signing up for 501c3, because for them, it's all about the money.
(Read "501c3: The Devil's Church" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

Should we get birth certificates for children without a marriage license?

I realize some readers might be opposed to getting birth certificates in the U.S. because, essentially, their purpose is to put all citizens under a corporate status. Though I understand the concept, I am not one of those who teaches you should not get a birth certificate, but rather, I tell people that it does not really matter one way or another because, in the end, there is no offense against God on this one.

Some readers may wonder why I teach so fervently against 501c3 corporate contracts and marriage licenses, but not against birth certificates, and essentially, my reasoning is because there are only three institutions God has declared for Christians on earth: marriage, government, and the church. The government does not have any business in a marriage or the church, and as long as we do what is right by God, most governments would be well pleased to have Christian tax payers because they are responsible, dedicated, and hard working, so they should not care what we do as long as we are not breaking any laws.

For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. Wilt thou then not be afraid of the power? do that which is good, and thou shalt have praise of the same:
-Romans 13:3

There is no U.S. law that requires any American to get a birth certificate, and most Americans do not realize that you can live in the U.S. without one, but it becomes extensively more difficult and time consuming. In short, there is a lot more paperwork and hassle that you have to go through in order to live as a legal citizen in the U.S. without a birth certificate (and a social security number, which they will grant with the birth certificate), and though I do not like that system (and thoroughly disagree with it), there is no offense against God to have a birth certificate, and without one, it can be a roadblock that can waste a lot of your time.

Though I do not like birth certificates and social security numbers, nor do I like how they were instituted, the fact is that, today, they are used as proof of citizenship, and even Paul used his corporate Roman citizenship as a defense when he traveled preaching the Gospel.

Then the chief captain came, and said unto him, Tell me, art thou a Roman? He said, Yea. And the chief captain answered, With a great sum obtained I this freedom. And Paul said, But I was free born. Then straightway they departed from him which should have examined him: and the chief captain also was afraid, after he knew that he was a Roman, and because he had bound him.
-Acts 22:27-29

As opposed to a birth certificate, marriage licenses and 501c3 actually end up costing a lot of time, money, and hassle, and by not getting them, you avoid contradicting God's Word and can go forth freely to teach the Gospel of Christ. On the other hand, having a birth certificate can save you a lot of time, money, and hassle, and since is it irrelevant whether you have one or not, I would encourage Christians to get one, and put your trust in the Lord Jesus Christ; however, I do not rebuke anyone for not having a birth certificate if they choose to walk that path.

That being said, birth certificates do not require having a marriage license, and as far as I know, they do not even require signatures because the baby cannot sign for him/herself. However, that is also part of the reason why they do not make sense, in that lawful claim to corporate status is almost automatic upon birth. In fact, birth certificates do not even require the names of the parents in the case of an orphaned child, and just to give an example, here is a sample of a birth certificate from my home State of Indiana:
Also, a marriage license is not required to adopt childern:
"Single and unmarried people are often open to adopting an older child or a child with special needs, while married couples often seek only to adopt a healthy newborn. In fact, single and unmarried adults already adopt about 33% of children from state care (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2004)."
-Unmarried Equality, "Unmarried People Want to Adopt," retrieved Oct 2, 2015, [unmarried.org/parents-children/adoption]

Any two people can adopt a child if they file the right paperwork. In fact, that is how the sodomites/homosexuals were doing it before they were permitted to get marriage contracts with the State. So, once again, we are left with the same question: Why do you need a marriage license in the first place?

If I do not get a marriage license, how do I trust my spouse?

Allow me to answer that with a better question: If you DO get a marriage license, how do you trust your spouse? For some reason, churchgoers have adopted this whimsical fantasy that a piece of paper will bond a man and woman together for life and make them keep their word.

As I have already demonstrated, a marriage license is a business contract to protect property, and that contract comes with a clause that, in the event of a divorce, obligates the husband and wife to split half of everything they own between one another, and in the end, many people have used this as a threat against their spouse (most often wives against their husbands), saying, "I can just divorce you and take half of everything!"

Do married couples really think that threats about property ownership will keep a marriage healthy? Do people genuinely believe that if they remind their spouse that they have legal grounds to divorce under their marriage contract, they can blackmail their way into a loving relationship?

In previous chapters, I have already pointed out that everyone is held accountable by God for every idle word they speak (Mat 12:36), and so everyone will be judged when they lie and break their word. So really, the question is not whether or not you trust your spouse, but rather, do you and your spouse trust God?

Today, my wife is in 100% agreement with me about not getting a marriage license and participating in all the traditions, and she is now glad that we did not do all those things, but early on in our marriage, she fought with me and had a lot of doubts. She had trust issues, and so at one point, I simply told her: "Lorraine, you will never be able to fully trust me because I have a sinful body of flesh just like you do. However, you can trust in Christ, knowing that I believe on Him, and work to keep His commandments."

However, most people do not trust the Lord God, and they would rather put their trust into the government, which is why they get a marriage license in the first place. Ultimately, they do not trust God or their spouse, and put their faith into ridiculous and superstitious things like writs of marriage and wedding rings, but they are only building their house on the sand.

And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.
-Matthew 7:26-27

If we would follow the commandments which fulfill all the law and prophets, we would have no need for marriage licenses:

Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.
-Matthew 7:12

The world needs marriage licenses because they cannot trust each other. They need government contracts to protect themselves from each other. They do not follow the commandments of Christ and they do not fear God, so they end up having to put their trust into the government to rule over them, but it is a shame for Christians to require the same things as the world because it only shows they lack understanding, lack charity, lack fear of God, and lack faith and dedication to Christ.

Over the years, I have heard many stories of people wanting to get a divorce, but they held off for a long time because they knew fights over money and property would be so heated, they did not want to go through with it. Most of the time, they end up waiting until they get angry and desperate enough that they no longer care about the money and property anymore, and then they go through with the divorce. (Or, they get a "legal separation" that eventually ends in divorce in most cases.) In the end, the money and property were more important to them than the marriage was because, without the money and property, they would have divorced long ago, and thus, it also means they love money more than God because they are only willing to keep His commandments when there is enough material possession in it for them.

Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy;
-1 Timothy 6:17

If you have to threaten your spouse with a lawsuit to stay together, then you do not have a marriage based on honesty.

The following chart was created based on CDC (Center for Disease Control) analysis of marriage vs divorce rates in the U.S. These statistics were pulled from State records related to people who signed marriage licenses and got a divorce later. Notice that 150 years ago divorce was rare and the distance between the divorce line and marriage line was far apart, but now, in more recent decades, things are a bit different. (See Ana Swanson, "144 years of marriage and divorce in the United States in one chart," The Washington Post, June 23, 2015, retrieved Oct 25, 2018, [https://wapo.st/2EM05Fj])

The orange line is the divorce rate, and you can see that it has slowly gone up until about the 1980s, and then it has dropped quite a bit. Do not misinterpret that to be a good sign because it means that the number of marriage (i.e. the blue line) is decreasing, or in other words, more couples are living together in fornication without getting married at all.

So after seeing this chart, do you believe that a piece of paper (i.e. a marriage license) has helped anyone to trust their spouse more? In the end, nothing will guarantee your marriage, but you have a far better chance at having a successful marriage if you marry someone who has a philosophy of honesty, humility, and hard work, and you both put your faith and dedication into God's Word first and foremost.

What should the church do if a couple gets a divorce, or if a divorced member of the church gets remarried?

Jesus told us we should "judge righteous judgment" (John 7:24), so with that basic understanding, we need to consider the circumstances. Perhaps a man departed from a woman because she was abusive to their children, or perhaps a woman departed from a man because he was sleeping with another woman in adultery; under those circumstances, the divorce was justified, and no action from the church needs to be taken, so we should hear them out before concluding anything.

He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.
-Proverbs 18:13

Get all the information before jumping to conclusions.

However, if someone got a divorce because they were not getting along (or as they sometimes like to say, "we just weren't compatible"), that is not a Biblical justification for divorce, and that person should be reconciled to their spouse. If someone tries to justify their divorce for selfish reasons, and they will not come to repentance (i.e. grief and godly sorrow) of their wrongdoing, then we need to remove them from the church.

Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.
-Luke 17:3

This goes for all church members, INCLUDING pastors and elders; they do not get a free pass on this because they are in a position of authority. I have seen many preachers who divorce and get remarried at their own discertion multiple times, men like Peter Ruckman, Chris Oyakhilome, Kent Hovind, Greg Locke, and Ray McCauley, just to name a few. The problem is that these men (and sometimes their wives) divorce on unbiblical terms, and worse still, they remarry other people on those same unbiblical terms, which means they have no business being a position of leadership in any church or ministry, neither as an elder or teacher, because they will not come to repentance of their sin.
(Read Wolves in Costume: Kent Hovind here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop [elder], he desireth a good work. A bishop [elder] then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous [i.e. content with the wife he has]; One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.
-1 Timothy 3:1-7

If the couple divorces on unbiblical terms, which I covered in chapter 4, and one (or both) of them finds someone else to marry, then it puts them into the sin of adultery, as Jesus Christ told us. (Mat 19:9) Depending on the circumstances, it also has a good chance of putting someone into a bad report with their neighbors. Therefore, being in sin, we need to rebuke them unto the righteousness of Christ, and remind them of His commandments to us, but if they refuse to listen, then we take it to the church as a whole, and if they keep making excuses and refuse to hear the church, then we are supposed to kick them out of the church.

Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.
-Matthew 18:15-17

But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother [i.e. he claims to be a Christian] be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat. For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.
-1 Corinthians 5:11-13

We forgive those who repent (i.e. those who have grief and godly sorrow for their wrongdoing), just as Christ forgives us when we repent (Luke 17:3-4), but if they do not repent of their sin, we are not commanded to just give them grace and overlook the matter, just as Christ does not give grace without repentance. God does not give His grace to the proud of heart; He only gives His grace to those that have been humbled to repentance.
(Read "Is Repentance Part of Salvation?" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.
-James 4:6

Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.
-1 Peter 5:5

It is sad to see how common it is for preachers to paint themselves righteous on the outside, but inwardly, they have no love towards God or their wives. They stand on pretense by calling themselves "pastor," expecting all to respect their person (which is sin), and do not work to exhibit a heart of honesty, humility, and hard work.
(Read "Respecting Persons Is Sin here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

But if ye have respect to persons, ye commit sin, and are convinced of the law as transgressors.
-James 2:9

If you are yoked together with a ministry or church of any sort that has men and women who go unrebuked for multiple divorces and remarriages under unbiblical circumstances, and they will not repent of their sin, then sanctify yourself (i.e. set yourself apart) from them. They are eventually going to reap what they sow, and so you can pray for them, but you do not want to be anywhere near them when God chooses to punish their sin, not only to protect yourself, but more importantly, that you would not shame the name of Christ by associating with those who call themselves Christians and actively live in their sin, and that you would send them a message by your departure that, by living in their sin, they are operating outside of Christ's true church.

I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.
-John 17:15-17

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.
-Galatians 6:7-8

As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.
-Revelation 3:19

It does not matter if a pastor wants to claim he is leading a church because, if he is living in his sin without contrite confession, then he is not part of any church that is of Christ because he is lying against God's Word.

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.
-1 John 1:8-10

If a preacher is going to live in sin and teach the church, then he will teach false doctrine (which is leaven), and his leaven will affect you and your family. Be sanctified from those wicked men and women, for the sake of Christ, and for the safety of your family, that they would not be plagued with wicked doctrines.

A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump.
-Galatians 5:9

Without a marriage license, how should a couple handle a divorce?

God willing, the couple should handle the matter with responsibility and charity, knowing the fear of the Lord. As Christ taught us, we should love and do good even unto our enemies.

Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
-Matthew 5:43-45

However, that is not the answer most people want because, most often, when people write me with concerns, they tend to ask vague questions, instead of asking what they really want to know. The above question is NOT what they really want to know because that is not the core of their concern. The real question they want to know about is this: "Without a marriage license, how does a couple handle the division of property and resources?"

Let's suppose a couple wanted a divorce, but they were were out on the street, homeless without a car and without money; what is stopping them from divorcing each other? Let's suppose another scenario that anyone who got a divorce was automatically awarded 100 million dollars each; would they put aside all their reservations and move forward with the divorce? When you remove money from the equation, or give the couple endless amounts of money, the core foundation of the question will appear, meaning that the question has nothing to do with divorce, and everything to do with money, so the question really comes down to how a couple divides up their property and resources.

As I pointed out earlier in this chapter, property can be owned by both the man and woman without having a marriage license, so assuming that the couple put everything in BOTH the husband and wife's names individually, the divorce would take place the same way any other divorce would take place. If they could not settle splitting up the property equally between themselves, a judge in a courtroom would settle the disputes in the same way a judge would settle a dispute between two business owners that co-owned a business together and were splitting apart.

That being said, readers should keep in mind that most disputes between a man and woman without a corporate business contract (i.e. marriage license) from the state will NOT be handled in a family court. (The exception would be anything concerning children, assuming you got birth certificates for them.) The State will only use family court in relation to marriage licesnses and birth certificates. Ultimately, a disagreement about property between two owners would typically be handled in small claims court, unless the value of the property is quite large, and then there may have to be lawyers involved.

However, let's suppose the man and the woman are both Christians, or at least, claim to be. The first problem is that, if they go to lawyers and judges, they are already in volation of the commandments in the New Testament:

Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints? Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? Know ye not that we shall judge angels? [i.e. fallen angels, or devils, in this context] how much more things that pertain to this life? If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church.
-1 Corinthians 6:1-4

Ideally, the husband and wife should just reconcile with one another by humbling themselves and putting away the strife and contention, but if they cannot be reconciled, and they insist on divorce, refusing to humble themselves enough to act kindly towards one another about the property and children, then the matter should be brought to the church to judge. It should be noted that Scripture does not instruct us to automatically go to a pastor or elder, but rather, have the church decide who is the least esteemed (i.e. the lowest, most humble, and least recognized Christian in the church), and let that person judge between the divorcing couple after he/she has heard the entire matter.

For anyone claiming to have the Holy Spirit in them, it should be a shame and embarassment that they would not be able to handle their own disagreements with charity and kindness, which is fruit of the Spirit.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
-Galatians 5:22-23

Christ told us that if we have unlawfully wronged anyone to the point they have to file a lawsuit against us for our wrongdoing, then we ought to give them more than they ask for restitution.

And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also.
-Matthew 5:40

The horrible way a wife would treat her husband during a divorce, or the terrible way a husband would treat his wife during a divorce, whether it is coming from one spouse or both, demonstrates that their fear of God only comes from the precept (i.e. commandments) of men, but they do not really fear God in their hearts.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endureth for ever.
-Psalm 111:10

This means that they might give lip service to Christ, claiming how great He is with their mouths, but they do not love Him, just like they do not love their spouses.

Wherefore the Lord said, Forasmuch as this people draw near me with their mouth, and with their lips do honour me, but have removed their heart far from me, and their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men:
-Isaiah 29:13

He answered and said unto them, Well hath Esaias [Isaiah] prophesied of you hypocrites, as it is written, This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me.
-Mark 7:6

If any couple claims to be Christians, and want to get divorced, the first thing I would tell them is that they should fear God and His judgment. The reason for this is because if they feared God, and they were humbled to repentance, they would not be considering divorce as an option in the first place; however, if they insist on divorce anyway, they should treat one another the way they would like to be treated. (Mat 7:12)

What about arranged marriages?

What about them? A number of people have asked me this very vague question, and I have been unable to answer it because I do not know what they want to know.

Do you want to know if arranged marriages are Biblical? Why would they not be? They happened all the time throughout Scripture.

Do you want to know if you can refuse an arranged marriage? Of course you can. Some people may argue that certain societies may consider it rebellion that results in execution if you refuse the marriage, but you still have a choice; if the person who you are being forced to marry is that terrible, death may be a better option than to have to live a life in misery.

Whether the marriage is arranged or not, the two people still have to give their word in agreement, and if one of those two people refuse to give his/her word in agreement, it does not matter what arrangements or ceremonies anyone performs, it is not marriage. If a woman refuses to give her word in marriage to a man, but the families and religious institutions claim that it is valid anyway, and the man takes her, that is not a legitmate marriage; in my country, that is called "kidnapping" and "rape."

However, if the man and woman gave their word to be married, arranged or not, it is marriage binding before God, and if anyone claims they were forced into it, there is always a choice. You may not like the choices you have, but there is a choice, and everything that is outside of your power, I encourage all readers to trust in God for those things you cannot control.

Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
-Hebrews 13:5

The reason there is not much else to say about arranged marriages is because the Biblical philosophies I have already taught apply to all marriages, arranged or not. Every other question is based on circumstances, having to do with various religious, government, or cultural questions, not about marriage itself, and so with that in mind, let's continue to learn about the Biblical philosophy of marriage.


 

Under normal circumstances, I tend to write about the philosophy (i.e. the way of thinking) of a subject in the first chapters, rather than in the latter chapters, because it should be the foundation of our thought process. However, for the subject of marriage, because it has been corrupted by so many false perceptions and superstitious pagan traditions, it was necessary for me to help open the eyes of my Christian brethren, that they would approach the subject of marriage with a clean slate in their minds, gathering the facts instead of operating by assumptions, to let go of the ritualistic burdens put upon them by those claiming to be pastors and elders.

When I was in my early 20s, I had this great desire and passion to be a marriage counselor because I was fascinated with studying the interactions between men and women, their relationships, and what made a good marriage. It was a bit odd because it is not a common desire you often see in single young men, and back then, people gave me odd looks when I expressed that passion, but I really wanted to understand the matter, even going so far as to enroll in a local college to focus on that career. The reason I stopped persuing that career was because the Lord God showed me mercy, and gave me understanding of His Word.

Some readers might find that confusing, namely, that I had a passion to learn about and counsel married couples, then stopped persuing research and education into it, but the reason I did that was because I discovered that the Biblical philosophy of marriage is very simple. The passion I had for it still exists, but where we run into complexity is when we look at the teachings of most pastors, evangelists, and other authors on the topic of marriage.

Today, I am very thankful I never went through any college courses to be a counselor. If I had continued down that path, I would have been indoctrinated into the falsely so-called "science" of psychology, which would have taken me far away from Christ's doctrine, and I would not have learned the Biblical values I needed to know to help married couples.
(Read Psychology: Hoodwinked by the Devil here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

Knowing that I could not afford to go to college (despite the fact that I enrolled for a short time), I decided to go to discount book stores and purchase books on marriage and relationships. After all, a degree is nothing more than a piece of paper that confirms you have read and understood subject matter, so I decided to read and understand without getting in debt while doing it.

I studied these books very thoroughly, sometimes reading them multiple times. I bought books like Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus and The Five Love Languages, just to give a couple of well-known examples, and though I thought I was learning a lot about marriage and relationships at the time, later in my life, I learned that these authors did not have a Biblical understanding about the philosophy of marriage, and therefore, they did not have a good understanding of marriage.

Some of you may wonder why I would accuse authors (sometimes world-renowned authors), many of whom have degrees and have counseled thousands of couples, of not having understanding when I am just some nobody without all the prestige and experience they have. The reason I can state these things boldly is because they were trained by the rudiments (i.e. first teachings) of the world, but I was trained by a timeless author, the Holy Spirit, who created marriage, and though some of those authors might claim the same thing, in reality, they are following the new-age pyschology movement that corrupts the minds of pastors and churchgoers around the world.

Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy [a way of thinking] and vain deceit [lies] , after the tradition of men, after the rudiments [first teachings] of the world, and not after Christ.
-Colossians 2:8

For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness, and in fear, and in much trembling. And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power: That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.
-1 Corinthians 2:2-5

It is far too common that those who claim to be of Christ respect persons (i.e. sin) to such a degree that they will only listen to noble and mighty men with great prestige and credentials. The Lord God did not tell us that he would use the lofty, prestigious authors and counselors to teach the truth of His Word to the people, but rather, he would use the lowly, base, foolish, and weak, that is, the despised and worthless people of this world, and He would give them wisdom to understand.

For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: That no flesh should glory in his presence.
-1 Corinthians 1:26-29

It is through those people, who the world considers vile and worthless, that God calls to bring the lofty, prestigious authors and counselors to their knees, that no flesh would glory the presence of the Holy and Righteous God. The reason for this is so that men with fancy degrees and titles would not receive the praise meant for God, as they often do, but that God would receive praise for His great wisdom and mercy.

While I read through all these books on marriage, I noticed that they always contained some special gimmick, which is a trick or device intended to gather attention. For instance, Gary Chapman of the aforementioned book The Five Love Languages has another book called The Five Love Languages for Singles and another book called The Five Love Languages of Children, so you can see his Five Love Languages gimmick throughout most of his books, and I can tell you from personal experience in reading Chapman's materials, it is a complete waste of your time and money.

Please do not misunderstand, I am not saying that his system has never worked for anyone, and I am sure it has, especially since there are a number of people who have given testimony about the positive effects his books have had on their marriage. The problem is that he is not teaching the foundational philosophy of Christ in marriage, and even though Chapman's books are considered "Christian" by most churchgoers, they are actually based on new-age pyschological methods, or in other words, in the heart of the typical churchgoer, you cannot just read the Bible alone for understanding, you need the Bible PLUS Gary Chapman's gimmicks in order to have good marriages and relationships.

The problem in approaching the subject of marriage outside the foundational philosophy of Scripture is that marriage counselors end up only addressing surface problems. For example, Chapman teaches people that they need to learn which method a particular person feels the most cared for by a certain action, but the problem is the core concept is simply found in thinking on the things of others more than ourselves.

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:
-Philippians 2:3-5

To think on the things of others before ourselves is the concept of charity:

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
-1 Corinthians 13:1-6

charity (n): love, benevolence, good will; that disposition of heart which inclines men to think favorably of their fellow man, and to do them good; kindness, affection, tenderness, giving and service to relieve the distressed, candor, a disposition which inclines men to think and judge favorably, and to put the best construction on words and actions which the case will admit
(See 'charity', American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 1828, retrieved Feb 12, 2020, [webstersdictionary1828.com])

Charity is the fulfillment of the law and prophets, which is in perfect correlation with the Great Commandment Jesus gave us, which is to love the Lord God, and to love our neighbor as we already love ourselves. That is why the Bible does not mention varying degrees of "love languages," because the concept of charity is universal if applied correctly.

And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.
-Mark 12:30-31

If we humble ourselves to think of our spouses over ourselves, then we do not need to learn "five love languages" because when we consider others first, we have a heart of charity. True love is a selfless sacrifice, and those consistent, daily selfless sacrifices should be the foundation of a good marriage.

In an earlier chapter, I listed out the three primary qualities that make up a solid philosophy of marriage, and I want to reestablish them here:

Honesty. Listen to the other person and watch them carefully. Ask yourself: Do they keep their word? Is their word important to them? Do they express grief when they fail to keep their word? (Read "God Does Not Justify Lies" here at creationliberty.com for more details.) Humility. Ask yourself if they are patient and apt to learn and/or teach, and judge themselves openly. (1Co 11:31) Pridefulness and high-mindedness in family, friends, work, or hobbies is always a sign of destruction to come. (Pro 16:18) A humble heart considers others before him/herself (Mat 7:12), and that is a good foundation for an honest, loving marriage. (Read "The Biblical Understanding of Pride" here at creationliberty.com for more details.) Hard Working. This goes for both men and women. Ask yourself if they have a good work ethic. Whatever they put their hand to, they give it their best effort (Ecc 9:10), and they work as if they did it directly for the Lord Jesus Christ. (Col 3:23-24) (Read "The Christian Work Ethic" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

If anything from Chapman's books have worked for married couples, it is because they changed their philosophy to adopt these basic pricinples. These three principles were applied to their specific households, and they improved their marriages, but sadly, they thought giving a present (i.e. "receiving gifts") or giving a compliment (i.e. "words of affirmation"), or any of the so-called "love languages" he describes in his books. Ultimately, if you want a good marriage, you should be doing ALL the so-called "love languages," not just one or two, but the problem is that couples most often address surface symptoms, rather than looking at the core of their own hearts and minds, and judging themselves in righteous judgment according to God's Word.

These three virtues are not some gimmick; they are Biblical traits that, not only a husband and wife should have, but that all mankind should have, most especially those who are born again in Christ. These virtues are not like, for example, Henry Cloud and John Townsend's book Boundaries, in which they come up with a perspective of emotional boundaries, and try to make a bunch of money off the concept with their other books called Boundaries in Dating and Boundaries in Marriage, but rather, these three simple principles are free, they apply to any relationship, for any situation, no matter what it is, and you do not need hundreds of dating/marriage/relationship books to help you figure that out when you have an honest, humble, and hard-working philosophy.

I want readers to fully understand the depth of the problem with books on marriage and relationships. In most instances, they are money-making schemes, and they rely on gimmicks and advertising techniques to attract an audience. Here are a few examples:

The Five Love Languages (TFLL) TFLL: The Secret to Love that Lasts The Five Love Languages of Children TFLL: Tools for Making a Good Relationship Great The Five Love Languages for Singles The Heart of the 5 Love Languages TFLL Military Edition: The Secret to Love That Lasts A Teen's Guide to the 5 Love Languages The Five Love Languages Gift Edition Love as a Way of Life The Five Love Languages Men's Edition What Are the 5 Love Languages? The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers The Five Love Languages Journal Keeping Love Alive as Memories Fade Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (MAfMWAfV) Mars and Venus Book of Days: 365 Inspirations to Enrich Your Relationships Beyond Mars and Venus: Relationship Skills for Today's Complex World Truly Mars and Venus: The Illustrated Essential MAfMWAfV Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently Mars and Venus in The Bedroom: A Guide to Lasting Romance and Passion Mars and Venus in the Workplace: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting Results at Work Venus on Fire, Mars on Ice: Hormonal Balance-The Key to Life, Love and Energy Mars and Venus in Love: Inspiring and Heartfelt Stories of Relationships That Work The Mars and Venus Diet and Exercise Solution: Create the Brain Chemistry of Health, Happiness, and Lasting Romance Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus And Children Are From Heaven Men, Women and Relationships: Making Peace with the Opposite Sex Mars and Venus Together Forever: Relationship Skills for Lasting Love Men are from Mars: Understanding the Man in Your Life What You Feel You Can Heal: A Guide for Enriching Relationships Focus on the Family Marriage Series The Masterpiece Marriage The Model Marriage The Passionate Marriage The Communicating Marriage The Blended Marriage The Covenant Marriage The Surprising Marriage The Giving Marriage The Fighting Marriage The Abundant Marriage Higher Love: Discovering God's Design for Your Marriage Who Did You Really Marry? Participant's Guide: Love Languages, Personality Types, Communication Signed, Sealed & Committed The Power of Love: Building Relationships That Work

These are just a few of the thousands of series out there on marriage and relationships, and they are designed from a marketing perspective, so you will continue to buy more of their materials, and end up reading the same things over and over. Please do not be deceived by any of these people because you do NOT need to read a fifty books by these people to obtain a heart of honesty, humility, and hard work, but rather, you simply need to repent, fear God, and study His Word to learn what you need to know to have a good foundation for your marriage.

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
-2 Timothy 2:15

Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.
-John 17:17

The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.
-Proverbs 15:28

These things have I written unto you concerning them that seduce you. But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.
-1 John 2:26-27

Although I spent years in studying these types of marriage books, in the end, I had to delete all of it from my mind and start again fresh with the Word of God because the information in those worldly books turned out to be useless when it came to my own marriage. Instead, I turned to the Bible to learn the philosophy of Christ, who taught charity, and that any conflict in marriage can be solved if both the husband and wife judge themselves in righteous judgment, and practice honesty, humility, and hard work.

For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged.
-1 Corinthians 11:31

Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?
-2 Corinthians 13:5

judge (v): to compare facts or ideas, and perceive their agreement or disagreement, and thus to distinguish truth from falsehood; to discern; to distinguish; to bring to issue the reasoning or deliberations of the mind
discern (v): to see or understand the difference; to make distinction; as, to discern between good and evil, truth and falsehood
(See 'judge' & 'discern', American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 1828, retrieved Nov 15, 2018, [webstersdictionary1828.com])

But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.
-Hebrews 5:14

Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
-Isaiah 5:20

If the husband is not judging himself, or the wife is not judging herself, the problem is really easy to identify, and I have seen it clearly when counseling other people about their marriage; however, in most cases I have seen, there are problems with both the husband and wife not judging themselves properly, and to varying degrees. Sometimes it is an equal 50/50 problem on both sides, sometimes 60/40, and sometimes 90/10, but again, most cases, there are problems on both sides, and even though you might believe you are only 10% of the problem, you have to judge yourself as if your 10% may be causing 90% of the problem. If both parties would judge themselves in honest and righteous judgement, they would have no need for marriage counseling.

This is the primary problem with hiring a marriage counselor, or going to marriage books for help, because the faster you solve your marriage, the less money the marriage counselor makes. The counselor only makes money if you are having a problem in your marriage, and this is not to say that all of them are scamming you, but we have to acknowledge that solving your marriage problems is not a goal that aligns with the bottom line of the counselor.

Please do not misunderstand my meaning in point this out; I am not saying that is wrong to seek help if you need to understand what to do in your marriage, but rather, it is good to seek wise counsel.

Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.
-Psalm 1:1

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.
-Proverbs 12:15

The help you seek should be from someone that stands firm on the foundation of God's Word because, under that circumstance, the goal of the counselor would be obedience unto Christ, and therefore, your successful marriage and the counselor's philosophy will align; although, I would recommend finding someone who does not charge you a fee just to be on the safe side. However, few marriage counselors understand this basic philosophy of Scripture, and it is not that they lack the intellect, but rather, they lack the Holy Spirit to open their eyes so they can understand. (i.e. It is not possible to fully understand the things I have written in this book either, unless you have been given the gifts of wisdom and understanding from the Holy Ghost.)

But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.
-1 Corinthians 2:14

To give an example, I found that most of the books I read on marriage were addressing things from the wife's perspective, and this was a trap I fell into early on when studying dating and marriage relationships. Please do not misunderstand, I am not saying that there is no importance to understanding the woman's perspective in a marriage, but God created women for men, not men for women, and so that means when we are trying to understand the philosophy of marriage, we need to start by looking at men.

In previous chapters, I addressed the fact that marriage itself does not make any sense outside of Scripture, meaning that there is no other worldview that can account for marriage in any reasonable sense, nor can they explain why two people should remain together for life. What is marriage? How is marriage different from two people living together? Why are they considered to be one person in unison? Why is there so much pressure for the two to remain together their entire lives? Where does dating end and marriage begin according to the world? Or more simply: Why are women the way that they are? Why do they act and speak the way they do? These questions cannot be answered logically and consistently without the Word of God, so if we want to understand marriage, we need to understand what Adam needed, which led to God creating a woman for him.

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
-Genesis 2:18

meet (adj): qualified to a use or purpose
help (n): one who gives assistance
(See 'help' & 'meet', American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 1828, retrieved Nov 8, 2018 [webstersdictionary1828.com])

In short, a help meet is a person who is designed with specific qualifications for the express purpose of serving a man, to be a companion and help for him. I do not care if some women out there (i.e. feminists) get offended by that; the fact is that God created females for that express purpose. Thus, if we are to understand women and wives, we first need to understand men and husbands, because women were made for men, but it is the world, like the leavened authors I listed above, who most often start with the female perspective, writing for female readers, knowing that they will make more money if they target women, since men are less likely to purchase those materials.

I am not saying it is not important to also look at a woman's perspective, but these books are almost always written to target women, who more often purchase them, which is why many of them have a series specifically for men written later. That is what I meant about them being designed for marketing purposes, not for marriage. The point I am making here is that if we look at marriages and relationships from the woman's perspective BEFORE looking at it from the man's perspective, we will end up with a lot of confusion, but sadly, due to the influence of corrupt feminist propaganda, our society attempts to look at these things in the opposite way that Scripture teaches us to look at them.
(Read Feminism: Castrating America here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

As I said before, I fell into this trap of spending all my time trying to understand women when I was a young man, and it was a frustrating journey because nothing about what I was learning seemed to make any sense. I was learning how women react, what women typically do, and how they think and feel, but it still did not make any sense because I was only learning the female reaction outside of the understanding of the male.

Of course, some of you may be wondering why I could not automatically understand the male perspective, since I am male, but when I was raised in a home, school, church, and society that did not teach me the male perspective, nor the Biblical role of men, then I could not make sense of what I was hearing versus what I was seeing. All I knew was that what I was being taught and what I was witnessing in dating and marriage were two very different things.
(Read Feminism: Castrating America - Chapter 6 - The Biblical Role of Men here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

Most of what I learned about how men should act came from two sources: My own family, and media. My family did not teach me much because there was not only a lot of hatred in it, but they were also plagued by feminist philosophy, and the media did not teach me much because they teaching nothing but sinful doctrines and lusts of the flesh.

I never had anyone teach me anything about men; namely, what they are supposed to do, how they are supposed to think and act, what their responsibilities are—I was taught nothing, while at the same time being expected to know everything automatically. Worse still, not only did I know nothing, but everyone else around me acted like they already knew everything, but it was not until decades later that I would come to realize that it was all for show; none of them knew what they were doing either, and that is why they could not teach me.

Even as a child, I remember struggling to understand the contradictions I saw in marriage and relationships, but because I had no answers as a young man, and as I grew, there came a point where my adulthood was staring me in the face, so I eventually just had to accept everything I saw and heard, just going with the flow of things because I did not know any better. From that point, I spent years going through the motions of dating without understanding what I was doing because it was all I had every known, and that led me through a lot of sin and heartache that could have easily been avoided if I had only understood the Biblical philosophies I have shared in this book.

Much later in my life, after I had spent a lot more time in God's Word, and considering my own experiences in relation to God's wisdom in Scripture, I learned that by understanding men, and God's role for males, I would automatically understand women, and His role for females. Trying to study women first is like being dropped from a helicopter into the middle of the Pacific ocean without any tools or direction, and expecting to find your way home alive; it is non-stop confusion and suffering, and eventually, you will drown. However, if both men and women first study God's role for husbands, then they will automatically learn and understand God's role for wives, not only bringing them together in harmony, but helping them live their entire lives together in harmony as well because both will understand what is expected of the other, and the philosophy behind why they were created to do what they do.

Though many marriage counselors (via DVDs, books, and seminars) often talk about love in a marriage, or how to have a loving relationship, it is deceptive because they are using a new-age definition of love, which is based on emotional attachment, rather than the Biblical definition of love. As I pointed out earlier, the definition of love is a selfless sacrifice, not a warm, gooey feeling inside.

This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.
-John 15:12-14

That we would lay down our lives for another; that is the truest form of love, and thus, to be completely honest, willing to work hard, and to humble ourselves, is not only how we should treat God, but it is how we ought to treat one another. It is a selfless sacrifice that shows true love, sacrificing the pleasures of this life to serve the Living God, just as He sacrificed His own life through Christ for us.

If ye love me, keep my commandments.
-John 14:15

For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.
-1 John 5:3

His commandments for the husband and wife are very simple, but rarely taught properly, even in church buildings:

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
-Colossians 3:18-19

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
-Ephesians 5:33

Let's define a few of these terms so we can gain a full understanding. We have already defined love as a selfless sacrifice, and thus, husbands are commanded to make selfless sacrifices for their wives, just as the wives are to make selfless sacrifice for their husbands, but a further commandment was given to men that they should not be bitter against their wives:

bitter (adj): sharp, cruel, severe, hurtful, distressful, painful
(See 'bitter', American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 1828, retrieved Nov 9, 2018, [webstersdictionary1828.com])

A husband ought not to say and do things that would cause his wife distress, in which he treats her in a cruel and hurtful manner. There are tears of grief that are good unto the Lord, but there are tears of grief that are caused by the malice of a husband. We men are commanded to make selfless sacrifices for the wife, and not to mistreat her in anyway that would cause her pain of mind and body.

On the other hand, women are also given an extra commandment different from the men, which is to submit to them and give the husband reverence:

submit (v): to lower, yield, or surrender to authority, to acquiesce [rest without opposition] to the authority of another
reverence (n): fear mixed with respect [honor] and esteem [value]
(See 'submit' & 'reverence', American Dictionary of the English Language, Noah Webster, 1828, retrieved Nov 9, 2018, [webstersdictionary1828.com])

A wife ought not to lift herself up in pride, as if she is a queen to be served, in which she treats the husband as if she is entitled to his service. There are times when a wife needs to be straight-forward with her husband, but never with an abusive or demanding attitude. Women are commanded to lower themselves under the authority of the husband who cares for her, which is also a selfless sacrifice on his behalf.

Thus, when both the husband and wife are honest with themselves and each other, they both humble themselves towards one another, and they both work hard to serve one another, making selfless sacrifices on each other's behalf, any problem can resolved, any pain can be healed, and any burned bridge can be rebuilt. However, it is lies, pride, and laziness that rips marriages apart, and as we covered in chapter four, that is what Jesus called "hardness of the heart."

And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
-Mark 10:4-5

Those three virtues must be applied together, or it will not bring about any change or reconciliation. Being humble without facing the truth just makes a person timid and cowardly, while being honest without being humble makes a person cruel and arrogant, and meanwhile, if a person is lazy, being unwilling to sacrifice time and resources into another person, then honesty and humility will mean nothing because there would be no charity, and therefore, no love.

In my own experience, as the man of my household, I worked from the first day of my marriage to make sure we upheld honesty as a foundation for everything we said and did. I grew up in a household based on assumptions and standing on pretense, and it was a miserable experience to live in, so I wanted my wife and I to be honest with each other in all things, and to do that, we needed to have some arguments (or "fights" as married couples often like to call them).

To help understand this better, I want to share an argument I had with my wife (Lorraine), and to preface this story, my wife elected to start up a market garden to sell fruits and vegetables, while I am a full-time author and teacher of Scripture, so I work a lot in my office on the computer. I have more stable work hours that allows me a bit more freedom, but because of what she chose to do, she sometimes has to be up before dawn, which often results in her being up and working before I am up researching and writing. At the time of the incident I am about to describe, Lorraine was in the middle of the heavy work season and her business as still in its infant stages, so there was a lot of stress on her because of her long work hours to build up everything she needed for the farm, which is something she chose to do and I agreed to help support her while she did it.

Lorraine came into my office one day and was very stressed and agitated about her work, and so I listened to her frustrations. After a few minutes, she started getting overly emotional, and I know that if she gets in that mood, sometimes she will say something she would regret.

As a side note, we need to make sure we are cautious with our mouths, especially if we are emotional.

If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth [restrain] not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.
-James 1:26

Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.
-Ecclesiastes 5:2

At one point, Lorraine said, "I don't get to lay around in bed sleeping all day," and while she said that, raised her hand and gestured to where I sleep. That angered me because I work every day, and through the emotional state of her heart, she was implying that I was lazy and slept while she was out working hard.

I was tolerating her emotional state and listening to her, until she said that, and so I immediately stopped her rant and addressed her on what she had said, but she insisted that she never said it. How can someone not remember something they had just said ten seconds ago? She was in such an emotional rage, her tongue was unrestrained by her reason, and she did not stop to consider what she was saying before she said it.

A few days later, she would come to admit that she did not remember saying it at first because she was so enraged, but in the heat of moment, she would confess nothing of the sort. At this point, most marriage/relationship books would tell the man to try and be understanding and let go, but that is NOT a Biblical resolution because what she said was a lie and insult that was designed to try and make me as upset as she was at the time, which is deceptive.

But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man.
-Matthew 15:18

The Lord Jesus Christ told us that the words we speak come out of the heart, and therefore, to ignore someone's words, even when said in an emotional rage, is to ignore the sin in the heart. When sins are left unchecked in the heart, without addressing the problem and resolving it, it defiles a man, and so in a marriage, whether coming from the mouth of a husband or wife, these things ought not to be ignored because God will not ignore them either.

But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
-Matthew 12:36

The Lord Jesus Christ takes every word we speak seriously, even those words we speak in our times of rest and relaxation, and so since we are judged by God for every word we speak, then we ought to first judge ourselves for every word we say. If we are not judging ourselves, then we have no place to judge anyone else, but if we judge ourselves first, then we can see clearly to judge the other.

Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.
-Matthew 7:5

Therefore, once we have judged our own words, if we are charitable to our spouse, then we will address them on those things that are spoken wrongfully, deceptively, or in error, that they might come to repentance of their sin, bridling their own tongues. Though they might hate us for doing it, and though they might rage and argue, we address them calmly and rationally for the sake of their souls, as a selfless sacrifice in love, that they would be reconciled to God, that He would not judge them strictly for the sins of their mouth.
(Read "Unbiblical Cop-Outs: 'Don't Judge Me!'" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

The problem that Lorraine had was not that I was lazy, because that was not the truth; it was that she was jealous that I got to work more stable hours that did not require me to wake up as early as she does, even though she chose that path, knowing that she would have to do these things. In fact, before she made that decision, I had warned her what she was going to have to do. No one forced her to start her business, and she knew this was what she would have to do to make it successful. Jealousy was no reason to lie and accuse her husband of being lazy, and the way in which she approached the subject was deceitful because instead of being direct and accusing her husband of laziness, she insisted on doing it in a roundabout, ambiguous way, hoping that no one would catch what she said so she could get away with saying it without confrontation, but my wife knows me better than that (i.e. she knows I will catch it quickly).

After I called her out on her words, she denied that she said it, which was a lie, and she continued to deny everything else I was telling her after that point. She got even more heated after this, and eventually, knowing that she would not hear me, I told her to get out of my office, and she stormed out. This fight went on for days because I was not going to let that go; not because I cannot let go of something in forgiveness, on the contrary, I am more than willing to do so, but there was no repentance (i.e. grief and sorrow) of what she had said.

Again, most marriage/relationship authors and speakers will tell you that I should have been more understanding with my wife and let it go because "women are just like that." (e.g. The Mars and Venus books will tell you that "Women are just from Venus" so they are "just that way," which is a lie and excuse.) That is completely unbiblical because women were not created to be liars and false accusers. The Bible calls it "sin," not an accident in which a woman slips on a banana peel and falls into a rage.

To say that a woman is "just that way," is to give her an excuse for her sin, and this would apply to men as well. We have no excuse for sin, and if we let sin alone, without addressing it directly and honestly, then these types of fights, the lies, and the misery will come back again and again and again, which, over the course of years, often leads to abuse and/or murder and/or divorce.

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
-Titus 2:3-5

So again, the reason I did not let that go is because there was a problem of sin in her heart which needed to be addressed, otherwise, it would not only show itself again later, but it would grow bigger, increasing her anger and bitterness over time. Even though in her state of emotional rage, Lorraine did not remember saying those things in the moment, she did confess to saying them later, and she later confessed that I was correct about the jealousy in her heart, and she apologized for what she said and implied, but more importantly, we have never had an argument over that subject again because we put out the fire at its source.

As the leader of our household, I have taken the responsibility to ensure that we talk about such things in open honesty, forcing the truth of the matter to be known and accepted, and early on in our marriage, the contention would sometimes last for weeks at a time. My wife has testified that the reason for the lengthy fights was due to her brawling nature because of the corrupt feminist philosophy she learned from her mother. Early on in our marriage, before I had written a book over the subject of feminism, she was not aware she was living according to that wicked philosophy. There was a time very early on in our marriage that Lorraine was considering divorce, and I was considering giving it to her because her outbursts of great were so intense and unreasonable, and because she was becoming physically abusive against me.
(Read "Feminism: Castrating America" here at creationliberty.com for more details.)

However, thanks to the Lord Jesus Christ being merciful to us, giving me discernment as the leader of our household, I forced us to work out each issue and to confess the truth, and over the course of the past decade, through a lot of hard work and patience, Lorraine has learned the truth about herself, improved herself, thrown out the worldly feminist philosophy, and today, she has become a really pleasant wife that is fun to be around. Most couples start out really well, going through what they call the "honeymoon phase," which is a blissful time, but Lorraine and I never had such a thing. We started out with a lot of arguments and fights, a lot of grief between us, but in preparation to write this chapter, I noticed that I struggled to remember very many of those fights, and when I asked her if she could recall any, she could not remember them either, and that is because we have taken the time to address every conflict at its source and work it out, we have forgiven one another of any grievances in charity, and our fights are much more rare.

The fallacy of modern-day marriage/relationship books and DVDs is that they think true peace can be created on a lie, or in other words, they are more focused on stopping a fight, rather than getting at the heart of the truth. There can be quietness on the basis of a lie, where the outward appearance is that everyone is getting along, but the truth is hidden, and that is why many fights in marriage break out so sharply; it is like a breached dam where a tiny flow of water and can cause a massive flood in a matter of minutes, and this concept applies to everything in our lives, not just marriage.

The absence of fighting is not automatically evidence of peace.

True peace can only be created when everyone accepts the truth of a matter, which is also why so-called "world peace" will never happen without the Lord Jesus Christ returning to reign as king. A peaceful marriage can also never exist until both parties can be reconciled to the truth, and I want to provide another example to help demonstrate this.

One day, I was driving Lorraine home from our chiropracter appointment, when a car rapidly slowed down and forced me to slam on the breaks. I told Lorraine I was sorry about that, but the car in front of me did not have working brake lights, so I did not have enough foreknowledge to slow down; however, Lorraine insisted that the car did show its brake lights, even though I insisted that it did not, and so we got into a heated argument over it on the way home.

About five minutes down the road, the car in front of us turned, and when they slowed down, I noticed that the car's driver-side brake light (i.e. the light in front of me) was not working, but the passenger-side brake light (i.e. the light in front of Lorraine) was working. In short, one of their brake lights was out. I turned to her and said, "We were both right," and we laughed on the way home. When the truth of the matter came out, we both accepted it, and not only were we peaceful afterwards, but we had a good time on the way home.

It should be noted that if we had turned off the road and never saw that car's brake lights, we might have gotten in a heated argument over nothing, and in a situation where the truth cannot be established, that is where humility plays a major role. There is no reason to argue over something that cannot be proven true one way or another, and at that point, we should both have humbled ourselves to the other, apologized for our aggression, and let it go; however, please do not misunderstand because, contrary to what most pastors and churchgoers might tell you, it was still worth fighting over.

I understand that some readers might be surprised that I would say that something so trivial as a brake light was worth fighting over, but that is a gross misunderstanding of what happened. The fight was not over a brake light; the fight was about the truth of our eye witness testimony. This is where I will heavily differ from modern-day marriage counselors and pastors because most people will only see the subject matter on the surface as the source of the problem, or in other words, most counselors will view this as a controversy over a brake light in their blindness, and neither the couple nor the counselor have the wisdom to see the core issue.

When I told Lorraine that I had not seen brake lights, her eye-witness testimony contradicted that, which would indicate that I was either mistaken about the truth, or lying against the truth. When she told me that she saw brake lights, my eye-witness testimony contradicted that, which would indicate that she was either mistaken about the truth, or lying about it. Thus, this came down to a debate about the truth, not about brake lights.

Let's consider an analogy of two children fighting over a toy to help understand this better. In the analogy, the younger child comes to the parent and complains that the older child stole his toy.

When this happens, the typical American parent reaction is to silence the complaints of their children, like yelling at them for "tattling" or "not sharing," instead of addressing the philosophy of the matter. This is usually done because the parents are thinking selfishly, desiring quiet and not having to deal with the issue, rather than looking at the valuable opportunity presented to them to help their children gain understanding about the virtues and law of God.

If it was true that the elder child had stolen the younger's toy, that means the argument is not about "sharing" or "tattling on your brother," but rather, this is an argument about property rights, criminal activity, sin, and justice. Some parents might immediately laugh this off, and they are welcome to do so, but they do so in willful blindness because these moments are VERY important for a child to learn about the wrongs of sin and the rights of the victim, and the reason such fights, bickering, and arguments keep happening over and over and over again is because parents have not learned to put out the fire at its source.

Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
-John 7:24

I ask parents: How long will you judge unjustly, and accept your child's wicked actions in your household?

How long will ye judge unjustly, and accept the persons of the wicked? Selah.
-Psalm 82:2

The younger (and weaker) child needs to learn that his parents will not ignore his plea over his plight, and will protect him from those who are stronger than him and seek to do him wrong, but most importantly, that will teach him the philosophy (i.e. the way of thinking) that the Lord God will not ignore the plea of the weak, and God will protect him from those who seek to do him wrong.

For the oppression of the poor, for the sighing of the needy, now will I arise, saith the LORD; I will set him in safety from him that puffeth at him.
-Psalm 12:5

This might be a small matter in the eyes of the parents, but to the child, it is a serious matter, by which he can learn how a parent acts towards a child, thereby, he will better understand later in his life how God acts towards His children. The accusation of "tattling" teaches a philosophy to the child that he cannot come to his parents for help, the accusation of "not sharing" teaches a philosophy to the child that he has no property rights, and ultimately, the parent's neglect and careless brushing aside the seriousness of the child's conflict sends a strong message to him that his parents do not care about his hurt as a victim of someone's sin against him. In summary, the younger child will begin to adopt a philosophy that he cannot come to God for help, a philosophy that there is no point in working for anything because anyone can steal it and there is nothing he can do about, and a philosophy that, in general, God does not care about him.

The elder child needs to learn that his parents will not ignore his wicked actions, will punish his wrongdoing, and will protect the innocent; however, the parents' neglect of the innocent's plea, and the lack of punishment, teaches the elder child a philosophy that he can take what he wants and get away with his crimes/sin without consequences, and the lack of protection for the innocent sibling teaches the elder child a philosophy that he needs to be the aggressor, so that he does not also become a helpless victim. In summary, this also means that the elder child will adopt a philosophy that God does not see his sin, God does not punish his sin, and in the end, the elder child will walk away thinking he will not be judged by God because he was not judged by his parents.

Please do not misunderstand; I am not saying that this single scenario will automatically turn the elder child into a gang leader or crime lord, but when this scenario happens over and over and over again, each instance is like a brick, and those bricks stack together, slowly building up a foundational philosophy in his mind, and whether or not he acts on it, he WILL carry that philosophy into his adulthood, applying it to his friendships, his job, and his marriage.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
-Proverbs 22:6

Again, most parents view the dispute on the surface, as if the argument is about a toy, but there is a foundational philosophy that has to do with truth versus lies, justice versus corruption, and good versus evil. And likewise, a matter that might seem so insignificant to a married couple, can actually be a major battle between the Word of God and sin, so we need to stop looking at the surface, and start looking at the heart of the matter so we can address the corrupt philosophies the hearts of men and women that are destroying their marriages.

And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
-2 Corinthians 6:16-18

The Bible calls us elect in Christ the "sons and daughters of God," and thus, parenting is very important because of this metaphor. The role of a parent teaches children how God treats His children, and for a parent to ignore the importance of that role can have dire consequences, not just for the child, but for anyone else who witnesses the interactions.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
-Ephesians 5:22-25

The Bible also compares the authority and relationship of Christ to the church (i.e. all those who are born again in Christ) as the husband to the wife, which means the marriage is also very important. How the husband treats the wife is an example to others how Christ treats the church, and how the wife treats the husband is also an example of how the church is supposed to treat the Lord Jesus Christ.

Knowing this, is it any wonder that we see so many church buildings being so lazy and uncaring about the Lord Jesus Christ when they are so lazy and uncaring in their families and marriages? Sure, they all sing songs to Christ every week, but their hearts are far from Him because they care more about how they feel than they care about His Word.

This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me.
-Matthew 15:8

Take thou away from me the noise of thy songs; for I will not hear the melody of thy viols. But let judgment run down as waters, and righteousness as a mighty stream.
-Amos 5:23-24

If ye love me, keep my commandments.
-John 14:15

I once had a young man write to tell me he was soon to be married to a womaan, but he had read my teaching on the pagan wedding rituals and the danger of getting a marriage license, and he had concerns because he was convicted not to do these things. However, his fiancé wanted all the traditional ceremonies and marriage license. She threatened to leave him if she could not have her precious pagan traditions, and so in the end, he gave in to his fear of her and pressure from her family, and he went through with all of it, finding it easier to never speak to me again than to have to face the truth.

One of the major problems he never considered was what kind of wife she would turn out to be if she had to get her way by threats. If she has to threaten a man to marry her, then not only does she value pagan traditions and material things more than she values him, but in the future, she will threaten him with others things to get her way, even with divorce, which means he does not have full control over his household from day one. If he had stood his ground, perhaps she would have left him, or perhaps she would have changed her mind, but one way or another, the young man did not have enough faith in the Lord God to find out, and it could have dire consequences.

No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon [i.e. god of wealth and material possession].
-Matthew 6:24

We cannot serve two masters; we either serve God or we serve the world.

Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?... Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
-Matthew 6:25-33

This is something I wish I had fully understood when I was a new Christian. If I had worked to seek first the kingdom of God and the righteousness of Christ, instead of first seeking a wife which I so desperately desired, He would have provided for me all that I needed, and it would have saved me a lot of time, money, and needless grief.

I want to end this book by both encouraging and warning those of you who have come to repentance and faith in Christ. It is my hope that you would find a mate that is good for you and your family, and that your marriages would be richly blessed with God's great mercy, but we should not compromise the Word of God to obtain them.

The words just read from Matthew 6 came directly from the Lord Jesus Christ, who is God (John 14:7-11), and He promised these things. In other words, He simply gave us His word, and He keeps that word, just as He expects us to give our word to our husband/wife in marriage and keep that word.

In hope of eternal life, which God, that cannot lie, promised before the world began;
-Titus 1:2

God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?
-Numbers 23:19

Abstain from the pollutions of idols, and abandon the pagan traditions. Seek the righteousness of Christ, and develop an honest tongue. Humble yourself before God, and whatever you put your hand to do, whether it is making a living or improving your relationship with your spouse, do it as if you did the work for Jesus Christ.

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
-Colossians 3:23

Young ladies, study the things you need to know to be a wife and mother, and young men, work hard to perfect your craft or trade so you can be resourceful to your family. Do these things in charity as if you did them for the Lord God Himself, and God will keep His word that He will add unto you all the things you need, whether they be food, clothing, or a husband/wife who loves the Lord God and will honor your marriage according to Biblical commandments.

My wife and I have experienced a lot of hatred, viciousness, backbiting, gossiping, and many other such wicked things (most especially from pastors and churchgoers) for simply standing on the truth of God's Word in our marriage. Be forewarned about the price you will have to pay to do what is right. Churchgoers most especially can get really nasty and cruel when you rebuke the pagan wedding traditions and licenses they worship. Lorraine and I did not do or speak a single wrong to any of the people who have railed against us, but many of them have done us wrong, and yet, we continue to labor and suffer reproach for the name of Christ because we know that is what we will have to suffer in this life for His name.

For therefore we both labour and suffer reproach, because we trust in the living God, who is the Saviour of all men, specially of those that believe.
-1 Timothy 4:10

And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.
-Matthew 10:22

Early in our marriage, my wife and I ran into a couple of pastors who insisted that we have one them marry us, and so to appease them (i.e. to try and keep the peace because I was doing speaking engagements in their organization), we were going to let one of them do it, even though there are no Biblical commandments for such a thing. In order to do this, they were going to make us jump through a bunch of political hoops. They wanted us to abandon our home church because one of them did not like home churches, they wanted us to watch a full 24-hours worth of DVDs that was a training series on marriage, and fill out large packets of worksheets that went with the DVDs, we had to join one of their church buildings, and a bunch of other annoying hassles, even though we had already been married for two years and had been a part of a home church for almost three years.

Lorraine and I jumped through most of the hoops, we filled out the worksheets and watched the DVDs (which were a serious waste of time because the guy in the videos had some extreme ignorance and false interpretation of Scripture) and everything else they wanted us to do (none of which was helping our marriage at all); however, we refused to leave our home church. That is when the contention really started up, and after that, they stopped working with us, even though prior to that time, they had sat down and told us that the Holy Spirit gave them a message that they were supposed to help us in our ministry. (i.e. They lied.)

To make a very long story short: These men ended up lying about us to other people, and all sorts of messy drama took place simply because they had a secret agenda for wanting us to be married under their authority, namely, so we would have to leave our home church and join their church building; they wanted us to be members under their organization's umbrella to increase their numbers and income. (i.e. It was all respect of persons, political motivations, and the love of money.)

I say these things to warn Christian readers of the kind of responses you should expect when you stand on the Word of God for your marriage. I didn't have any such warning, but I hope that you all will heed that warning, and be more prepared to sanctify yourselves for the sake of Christ.

For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
-1 Timothy 6:10

But if ye have respect to persons, ye commit sin, and are convinced of the law as transgressors.
-James 2:9

Blessed are ye, when men shall revile [to blame in condemnation of] you, and persecute [pursue, harass, inflict pain, grief, or injury against] you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
-Matthew 5:11

But despite all these grievous things we had to go through, Lorraine and I have agreed on one thing for many years: If we could go back in time, we would still get married simply on our word without all the religious traditions. We would avoid the grievous people, but outside of that, we would not change a thing. Whereas most marriages in America today start out with a lot of hyped-up emotion and end horribly, our marriage started out horribly, but it has gotten better every year thanks to the mercy, wisdom, and understanding that God has blessed us with.

My hope in writing this book was to pass on some of this understanding to the next generation, that some of you younger Christians might read this and choose to stick close the Lord Jesus Christ concerning courtship and/or marriage. With this knowledge, I hope that your marriage starts out well, lasts a lifetime, and ends well.

The Living God has promised great reward to them that forsake the world and follow Him:

Then answered Peter and said unto him, Behold, we have forsaken all, and followed thee; what shall we have therefore? And Jesus said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That ye which have followed me, in the regeneration when the Son of man shall sit in the throne of his glory, ye also shall sit upon twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life. But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first.
-Matthew 19:27-30

There are many who will have more love for their lives, more love for the pleasures of this world, than love for God. They will put themselves and their traditions first because they don't care for the Living God anywhere near as much as they claim, but let us stand firm on the foundation of His Word, following the commandments of Christ, and our houses will stand.

Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock. And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.
-Matthew 7:24-27

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