I am very thankful for the CLE website teachings, YouTube, etc. I was what you would call a false convert early on in life. At 12 years of age I thought I felt Jesus calling me to baptized (in the church my family attended, that's what repent and forgiveness meant). So I was in constant fear of going to hell since no one ever taught me about true repentance, grace, or sanctification. We were taught NOTHING about the HOLY SPIRIT. Later as a married adult with 3 children, we attended church regularly and payed our tithes like all good Christians were supposed to do. As time went on my husband and I realized that there had to be more than what we were being taught at the church we attended so we left that denomination and searched out many other denominations only to be more confused. We just stopped attending church buildings at that point and started studying on our own. That was alright for a while but we just weren't spiritually satisfied.
While we were attending a non denominational church building, we suddenly lost our only daughter in an automobile accident. Sadly her death took its toll on our marriage and we separated. I then committed fornication and my husband and I divorced. We both remarried and started new lives (adultery on my part). I started attending the Baptist Church building that my new husband was a member of. I was spiritually confused even more. In the Fall of 2018 I started a bible study with my sister. We both were searching for answers. We started researching different teachers about different topics to study online and oooh WOW we just about lost our minds with all the different beliefs and teachings. We stuck with it and prayed for direction and found a couple of teachings about the Pagan Holidays, Idolatry, Halloween, etc., and I came across the CLE YouTube channel.
I then started looking at every teaching, listening to the audios, and watching the videos. It wasn't very long before I found myself on my knees crying to the Lord for offending him with all of the evil things I had done. I remember feeling disgusted with myself and so remorseful to God and just couldn't quit crying. I now know that this is what is meant by Godly grief and sorrow unto repentance. I read the teaching on Marriage and on Repentance and now I completely understand being forgiven and of grace. I continue to learn more and more everyday and strive to sanctify my self daily.
I haven't attended church buildings for a while now and I'm sad to say that the only person I can fellowship with is my sister(my husband thinks I'm crazy and doesn't want to hear any teachings about the truth). The rest of my family and most of my friends think I've went off the deep end (lost my mind) because I don't participate in Holidays, Birthdays, Vulgar TV and Movies, and you can pretty much guess the rest I'm sure.
I am now praying for charity and to begin good works unto repentance. I hope to get some tracts and start leaving them at the places I run my errands. I was saved at age 56. All in all it is well with my soul!
