But it is weird to think that I had to repent of every sin I ever committed, like a list. I can't remember everything I ever did, but God knows and knows my heart.
Who said you had to remember every specific sin you ever did? When the prodigal son came back to his father in repentance saying he was not worthy to be called his son, he didn't list out everything he did and say "I repent of this thing and that thing and that other thing..." as if going through a list of specific sins he committed. But he came simply understanding that he was a sinner, so much so that he was not worthy to be called a son.
Typically when someone over complicates things like that, they do it to justify something or make an excuse for it. Very much like how the lawyer did to Jesus.
Luke 10:25 And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?
26 He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou?
27 And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.
28 And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.
29 But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?The lawyer made it more complicated that it actually was as a way to justify himself from loving his neighbor as himself. I'm not saying that you are trying to justify yourself, but it does make me wonder why you said that you had to repent of every single sin because there is a specific philosophy on this matter that caused you to say it that way and I'm curious to know what you think about it. As far as I know, everyone in our church here has never had to say that they repented of every sin they've ever done, only that they have repented to God and do repent when they understand that they messed up.
I've heard preachers say, "Nobody has ever repented of ALL their sins to be saved." And their conclusion has always been that you don't have to repent to be saved. And I've seen it go so far that some will even say that when Jesus preached for men to "repent and believe the gospel" that Jesus preached an entirely different gospel than the apostles. And they say the gospel Jesus preached was only for the Jews.
But they don't understand that their own arguments conflict with God's nature. It's unlike God to be so unmerciful to tell anyone to repent of every single sin ever done when they don't even fully understand what all sins they have committed, then turn around and hold that against them when they don't do what they
can't do! In order to repent of all sins ever done in a list, you first have to have full understanding of God's Word which is impossible without His Holy Spirit to teach it to us.
I can't imagine anyone sitting down and saying "God. I repent of that time I stole that pack of gum from the convenience store. I also repent of that time I took my brother's favorite toy. I also repent of last week when I stole that $20 from my co-worker's purse." But I can see someone saying, "God be merciful to me a thief."
It's hard to believe that someone ever sat down and said, "God. I'm sorry I lied to my mother that time, and I'm sorry I lied to my dad that one time, and then again a week later..." But it's perfectly conceivable to imagine someone saying, "God be merciful to me a liar."
All the publican had to do was say "God be merciful to me a sinner".
Luke 18:13 And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.
14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.He knew he was guilty of all the law, because he failed to keep one point of it and he, at least, understood that much. So he came to God in repentance and faith and left for home justified. To say that you "had to" repent of every sin "like a list" and then say that you didn't do it is strange. I can't make sense of it. Can you explain more?