My name is Sheila McGarvey; I go by Shea. I am 65 years old and live in central western Oregon. I was raised in Toquepala, Peru, S.A. until I was in high school, when we returned to our family home in Tucson, AZ. I was a third-generation (pseudo)member of the Worldwide Church of God when it was under the direction of Herbert Armstrong. I was rebellious and at 16 went to church with our Baptist neighbor who promptly had me baptized. I hadn’t a clue about true repentance or baptism. I went back to the WWCG, ministers chastised me, counseled me and later baptized me. I still didn’t have a clue about true repentance and married a divorced man. We divorced and I married again, his first and my second. He was a Roman Catholic and my views and his weren’t conducive to a truly spiritual marriage. That marriage failed too. My third marriage was to a WWCG gentleman who was divorced also. We divorced and I married a fourth time, this time to a Jehovah’s Witness going through rebellion also. It was during that time that I came to the threshold of true repentance. It was during my husband’s challenge to study why we no longer keep the Sabbath and holy days that my eyes began to open and my ears were willing to start to hear. I pained over my years without God in my life. I cried and prayed and fasted that He reveal His truth in his word. I was guilty of just about every manner of sin. Quite frankly, I hated myself: my rebellion against God, my arrogance, my haughty appearance, my snobbishness, my unrelenting pursuit of worldly things, my adulterous marriages, my fornications, my rudeness to others, my failure to bring my son up in a Godly manner, everything! I poured over scripture and went through more websites than I care to mention, some as briefly as 5 minutes before red flags had me closing those doors. When I saw error and closed one door, I went for another. Coming from the WWCG, I revisited messianic theology and was finally able to put the many years of indoctrination for a works-based salvation out of my life. The subject of divorce and remarriage troubled me. I told my then husband that our marriage was not sanctioned before God. JW elders agreed with me. We divorced and since 2006 I have been searching for a group of ecclesia who understand agape versus physical love and a teacher who is not afraid to teach truth. I quit my 35-year job along the way, cancelled all except liability insurance for my car, gave my goods to the needy and no longer participate in the affairs of the world. I stopped seeing doctors 38 years ago and never looked back. I got rid of my new TV in 2010 and never looked back. I turned away from my passion for endurance riding and sold my horses. I now clean houses and take care of people. I volunteer for a local charity doing laundry one day a week. I’ve been through a number of church doors, only to leave and never go back. I don’t tolerate Christmas, Easter, Halloween, or basically any tradition of men listed as holidays on our Gregorian calendar. My hair is long again and I no longer color it. I don’t wear makeup or jewelry. I dress modestly. I don’t date or go to dances or festivals. To me modern Churchianity is not Christianity and any group not upholding the teachings of our Messiah is guilty of heresy. I’m a lifelong organic gardener, love lacto-fermentation, and am a fusion cook. I now understand and live the joy/contentment of a simple life and am still praying for more understanding of living the Christian life and eager to learn more. My life has a void where true ecclesia should be. I feel that I’m ready to visit (re)baptism. Thank you all for allowing me into your forum where I can learn from your studies and experiences.
