What a journey

[WhyBaltimore]

After lurking for the last week or so I decided that introducing myself couldn't hurt.

I was raised in the church but was never really armed with any tools past Sunday school defenses for my faith. I really don't know if I could call it faith as much as it was appeasing my family. At the age of 9 I was put on addictive medications which was the kicking off point of 16 year struggle with addiction. My early to mid 20's became a constant cycle of homelessness, jail, and halfway houses, sprinkled with every form of degeneracy imaginable. at my absolute worst in 2021 I was living on the streets of LA in a tent city, making company with the lowest of the lows, myself no better than those I associated with.

Eventually I got clean in a state insurance rehab in Riverside county. For the first time I decided to do it without the "assistance" of the typical mental health medication cocktail. However upon leaving I immediately relapsed and was ran over by a car in the street.

My severe injuries left me mostly bed ridden. Luckily my parents agreed to allow me to live with them in Baltimore while I healed, under the agreement that I would be out as soon as I was better. However, without mental health medications I felt more alive than I ever had. This led to a slow but steady sparking interest into naturopathic health remedies (ie. proper diet). With all the time in the world I spiraled off into 4chan "redpilled" ideologies and let it take me in all kinds of wild direction. I feel like any conspiracy journey taken to its natural conclusion can only end in tragedy or a faith in Christ. I was fortunate enough to fall into the later. One night sitting in a basement, the evidence for Christ had tipped the scale in my brain and I came to believe and repented for my sins. It was the an immediate white light experience followed by the sensation as if I was being filled up with water, no description could do it justice.

My familiarity with scripture at the time was flimsy at best, and early on I ran with a lot of incorrect beliefs about what it meant to be a Christian. I began to devour information within scripture as well as online resources to help guide me in my journey. I still make many mistakes and I constantly have to readjust my stances on issues and repent as God continues to reveal things to me through scripture and experience. Now when I fall to sin however, I don't roll around in it till I am forced to change by outside forces. I can identify where I went wrong, repent, and continue to recommit myself to life in the lord.

While life now presents a new set of struggles, they are beautiful and rewarding. I have the chance to help those in my life as well as show up and be of value to those who need me.

Thank you for the website and the information you provide Christopher, you don't see many sites like these around now adays.

God Bless,
Luke

[Kenneth Winslow]

You signed an agreement when you made an account that you'd share with us how you found this site and why you are here.  I know that sharing your testimony can be exciting and sometimes difficult, but could you share those two points with us?

[creationliberty]

Thanks for sharing that with us Luke. How'd you end up finding us?

[WhyBaltimore]

Oh my apologies. If I remember correctly I was researching catholicism about 2 weeks ago and came across Chris's article. I had an encounter with someone who actually seemed very knowledgeable but then told me they were catholic. I felt as though catholicism did not follow the bible (to the point that I never bothered to read anything about it) but that was just a feeling and I didn't want to go off of feelings, I wanted to be able to engage in a conversation backed by evidence. I did a Yandex search and this website came up. I loved the article so I decided to read more. Then I noticed the website had a forum and it seemed appropriate to introduce myself. I have email correspondence with other Christians, but a forum setting seemed like a really good place to try and grow.

[someguy85]

My only recommendation would be not trying to absorb too much in one hit about the problems with Catholicism, it's a lot to unpack but if you're committed to the research...well, let's just say it's not lightly that myself, Chris (and no doubt many other forum members) call Catholicism the modern day face of "Mystery Babylon The Great" as the whore of revelation is labelled in the book of revelation. They've had their hand in if not been the masterminds behind so much death, misery, bloodshed and spiritual sewage since their inception, it's a testament to the mercy of our LORD that he hasn't decided to bring down the final judgement yet.

[WhyBaltimore]

I would agree with you on not absorbing too much. The Catholic church was so glaringly umbilical that I never felt like I needed to delve into its history to figure out why it was unbiblical. However I was surprised to find just HOW unbiblical of an institution it really was.

Knowing what to absorb has been the trickiest part of faith thus far. Unfortunately my belief in Christ did not come with absolute familiarity with the scripture tacked on to it. Although, as I gain familiarity with scripture, discerning what to spend time learning and what not to has become easier. I initially interpreted "Mystery Babylon The Great" as the mystery religions of Babylon, but I also am not sure that is very different from catholicism at this point. I'm also new in my belief so a lot of why I decided to introduce myself was to have a space to ask questions and grow in my faith. If there are future posts I make that have issues where people can see that I have misinterpreted scripture or simply don't know what I'm talking about, I would encourage people to point it out, I need all the help I can get.

[creationliberty]

I noticed you marked your belief as "Other" - was that on purpose?

[WhyBaltimore]

No that was a 13 hour construction day hahaha

[creationliberty]

I'll fix it.

[WhyBaltimore]

Thank you

[WhyBaltimore]

I don't believe I currently have the time or the knowledge to keep up with the level of discussion on this site. I love to read all the posts and articles but I think my efforts would be better used by trying to help people in my life how I can at my current level. I just wanted to say this so the admins wouldn't see an inactive account and delete it, in case I have questions in the future about scripture. I would ask that if possible posters could pray for me that I may find the time to be able to fast. I work a very physical job and I can't get it done for more than over the weekend. It has been really frustrating because I have been wanting to do a longer fast for a while. I just started the job so I was insecure about asking for vacation early on but now I wish I had. thanks

[creationliberty]

It's not a problem; you're obviously busy. Just take your time. We'll be here if you need anything.

[someguy85]

We're all still learning, but a willingness to learn is a gift from God. I get that it's hard when you work long active hours, but definitely go through at least some of the bible every day. If you've already caught on to the trend, sometimes Chris will only get through examining one verse in the first half teachings. Something that I found that helped me when I first started reading the bible was also listening to it in audio book form, especially if you're not used to the style of English the KJV uses, listening to it read out to you first can help reading it back. Above all else though, get a firm foundation in the bible first, without it we have nothing. I made the mistake early on in life of trying to read up on all kinds of cults and shadow evil doings around the world, and I fell into the trap of, for want of a better word, conspiracy hunting. You can start reading patterns in everything and eventually seeing shady dealings where there aren't any.

Keep this in mind, in Luke 12:31:

"But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you. {12:32} Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. {12:33} Sell that ye have, and give alms; provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that faileth not, where no thief approacheth, neither moth corrupteth."

There are conspiracies happening all the time but the only ones we should pay any attention to is those that seek to deceive people away from Christ and repentance to salvation, and those that would harm those around us. Our first and foremost thought should be to reaching others with the gospel because eventually everything in this world is going to burn, and all that will matter is who is saved and who is lost.

Personal tip as well, working long days can take it's toll after a while, so remember to look after your physical health as best you can too. I tend to work nights a lot so I take a few supplements and try and keep a good diet, and even over the last two years I have fallen ill a couple of times but it's been nowhere near as bad as it would have been had I not had the other stuff working in my system.

Look after yourself Luke

[WhyBaltimore]

I actually just saw this reply today someguy, and it is quite interesting that you mentioned the audio bible because that is exactly what I started doing last Friday! I was very surprised to find that hearing the spoken word of God tends to stick with me a lot better than just reading. I always make time for daily scripture, even if it is just a few pages, but the audio bible is nice as I can throw the headphones in at work and listen when I'm not to busy and can focus. I like to listen to the NKJV to gather the general concept and then hone it in with reading the KJV at home.

Personal health has been one of many important aspects of my life which led me to belief, once my body started to wake up it was as if I was receptive to the word of God for the first time in my life.

I am part of a bible study at a 501c3 church that I had been invited to. One of the members and I had got into a massive phone argument on Friday last week and I felt awful about it. I had known about the b17 cancer cure for a while because of naturopathy and recommended it to a group member who said they had a family member with cancer. Another group member approached me and said I shouldn't have recommended that and it devolved into a horrible conversation where I didn't act with love. I maintained composure until he started to put me down for believing in literal creation timeline and not trusting chemo and science and then I lost it. I just wish I could have communicated my stance better because I ruined the chance to really help someone although I don't think they would have been receptive however I approached it. I already received flack from the group for calling into question why we were using a Mark Batterson book called "The Circle" which uses a story from the talmud to help Christians enhance their prayer life which is just absolutely ridiculous and disrespectful to God and encourages people to put circles around what they are praying for which is just pagan trash no matter how much people tell me they like it. I'm no longer going to attend because I really do not feel welcome which is fine because now I can use the time I wasted there to be active and ask questions here. It just really hurt because I was so excited to talk with other Christians when I started this journey and it destroyed me to discover that church going christians have been the most hurtful people towards me. Not to info dump but I just have no one else to share it with.

I just discovered the online video ministries that Chris posted and I was relieved to find that he had experienced these same difficulties and that it wasn't just a matter of not explaining things right. I think my time could be better used talking with the homeless in my area because I used to be in the exact same position. Lol also they put a take a book leave a book thing up in my neighborhood as well, i'm going crazy thinking about all the literature I could put in there 

[creationliberty]

The book thing in my area didn't turn out so well. I found out someone was actually clearing out my books, and not allowing them to be seen, even though I tried to hide them in there. They were clearing it out and only putting in the books they wanted in there, even thought they claim it's "community driven" -- I actually think it's run by the corrupt church building across the street. You should first try to find out who operates or oversees it because someone always does.

[Kenneth Winslow]

It just really hurt because I was so excited to talk with other Christians when I started this journey and it destroyed me to discover that church going christians have been the most hurtful people towards me. Not to info dump but I just have no one else to share it with.

There are few, if any, in this group that haven't learned that same lesson the hard way too.
So many people would fancy themselves as Christians really have no stomach for proper doctrine, nor can they stand the thought of turning from paganism in its many forms.

[WhyBaltimore]

The book thing in my area didn't turn out so well. I found out someone was actually clearing out my books, and not allowing them to be seen, even though I tried to hide them in there. They were clearing it out and only putting in the books they wanted in there, even thought they claim it's "community driven" -- I actually think it's run by the corrupt church building across the street. You should first try to find out who operates or oversees it because someone always does.

I figured as much, it would be wishful thinking to believe whoever paid for its instillation would not be policing the literature to some degree. I have toyed with the idea of fitting covers on literature that would otherwise be removed, however it seems deceptive and books aren't free. None of the ideas I have had so far seem like very effective ways of reaching people.

[WhyBaltimore]

There are few, if any, in this group that haven't learned that same lesson the hard way too.
So many people would fancy themselves as Christians really have no stomach for proper doctrine, nor can they stand the thought of turning from paganism in its many forms.

I have no doubts about that. I'm sure this is just a small taste of what will continue to happen on this path. For me the frustration over the situation stemmed from two parts. First being someone claiming to be Christian not taking taking the word of God seriously. Second being anger towards myself for being more concerned with being right rather than helpful.

Philippians 2:3 - Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

I have not followed this very well since I have been born again. I very much thought certain things I knew about the world put me in a position of superiority over others. I was extremely blind to my pride prior to hearing Chris's explanation of pride.  Even down to the bad driver example which he used because I have been incredibly guilty of driving like a maniac, to the point that I have dropped to my knees and prayed for forgiveness in tears upon arriving home. In conversations I have tended to cut people off pretty badly which gives me a lot of shame because I would hate if someone did that to me. I can say that since repenting and praying to God for help in this area things have gotten better, but I still am very prone to this sin and it will need some work and dedication to fix. Becoming aware of the disgusting amount of pride I have has been one of the biggest breakthroughs but also the most painful. Then I saw that the two videogames I spent the entirety of my early 20's playing (Diablo 3 and the binding of Isaac) were featured on his youtube channel which I do not think is any coincidence. It is all painful but I am honestly joyed that I am aware of these things because I get terrified at the thought of having never discovered how twisted I have been. With all of that said, I think being so recently withdrawn from doing these awful things make me feel very much hypocritical at times and I think that lack of confidence is sometimes reflected in the way I talk with people. Every problem I have ever had since being born again has always gotten better by leaning more into the word of God so I don't see why this would be any different.

[anvilhauler]

It just really hurt because I was so excited to talk with other Christians when I started this journey and it destroyed me to discover that church going christians have been the most hurtful people towards me.

Yep, a few of us here sure have been burned by those ones. 

Not to info dump but I just have no one else to share it with.

You're in good company here because we understand fully what it's like.  It's good now that you have more time to spend here with quality discussion rather than the never ending frustration of trying to communicate with people who just don't get it.

[WhyBaltimore]

Was using NKJV audio bible out of laziness. Switching to the KJV audio on an mp3 player when I download it tonight.