Hi everybody, my name is Derek, and I'm a Christian on the outer edge of Chicagoland. I was raised here, home schooled by my mom (although unsupervised in my teen years, which led to problems), and have always gone to the same church, until recently when I decided I was done with church-ianity. On my own accord I left 2 weeks ago after meeting with the interim pastor, and being convinced of his phoniness. Since then I've been praying and trying to figure out what to do. I stumbled on Chris' 501(C)3 video series through a Youtube comment, and have thoroughly enjoyed going through his many other teachings. Its really given me a kick in the rear end, and has me reevaluating a lot of things in my life.
Some more background on my church experience and salvation:
I grew up in a Nazarene church, and was always at odds with the teachers and leaders of the church. Even though I wasn't saved, I was constantly asking questions on why we did certain things, and would always get shoulder shrugs or a dismissive "Wow, seems like you've been reading your Bible". I ended up getting sucked into Youtube atheism around 13 or 14, because they could actually answer my questions (falsely, of course) and talked about the hypocrisy and lackadaisical nature of modern church-ianity. Very quietly I held onto my atheism for a few years, becoming more sinful and bitter as the years wore on. I shifted into an agnostic view as I got into my teen years, and was that way up until I was saved.
Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,
-Romans 1:22
Throughout my time in youth group I was the odd one out, lonely in a large group of teens who were much richer and better looking than me. No one really cared about the the Bible or God, and it was more of a club with a Christian message tacked on at the end. I graduated high school by the skin on my teeth, and gave into my parents desire for me to go to Olivet Nazarene University (a liberal arts "Christian" university), despite not knowing what I wanted to do with my life. Didn't even make it one semester in before I dropped out; partially because I wasn't well prepared, and partially because I despised the hypocrisy and environment there. I thought that there would finally be people who could answer my questions, or who would reason with me, but I ended up at odds with most of my professors because I didn't infer what they actually wanted. I met with the Christianity 101 teacher to ask questions, and he told me he wasn't even sure that there was a God! There were a lot of upsetting and things, and I ended up dropping out, went to therapy for depression for a couple months (spoiler alert: I hated it, and got out ASAP), and got the honest working mans job I have currently.
There is no peace, saith my God, to the wicked.
-Isaiah 57:21
My story of salvation began about November of last year. I was watching pornography, building lies upon lies, involved in some racist groups, and overall a dirty rotten sinner. I started to feel desperate to stop sinning and clean up my life, so I turned to my Bible for some wisdom. I began reading Proverbs, and my life began to get better as I took the book to heart. At some point before Christmas, I turned to the NT and read through the entirety Matthew. The sermon the mount convicted me to my bones, and after a day of thinking, I got down on my hands and knees and prayed for God to forgive my sins and lead me. I wept for a good hour after that, thankful for Jesus Christ's sacrifice on that cross. That's how my journey got started, and I immediately set out to understand the Bible.
The words of the LORD are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
-Psalm 12:6
I cycled through at least 5 different Bible versions, thinking each time I had found the best one. The Holy Spirit in me was unsettled by the footnotes, omissions, and unbelieving attitude many scholars and teachers seemed to take. I finally learned about text criticism, modernism, and how corrupt all the modern Bibles are. I picked up a King James, and haven't looked back since.
But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.
-1 John 2:27
I started out listening to John MacArthur and other reformed types, but their entrenchment in modernism and Calvinism eventually pushed me away. Afterwords I started listening to various apologetics' Youtubers, and their ecumenical and and sometimes unbiblical beliefs and focuses also had me look elsewhere. For a short time I watched some wacky Ruckmanite stuff that pleased the flesh, but ultimately I stopped that because it got so silly and beyond a simple, straight forward understanding of the Bible. I recently watched more IFB sermons, but was kind of repulsed by the constant hatred towards so-called reprobates (not that I think there are some; just that I am in no place to know that for sure), and hypocrisy. Now I have a pretty good understanding that I need to stop watching everything and anything, and actually dig in and show myself approved unto God through study. I'm not where I would like to be, but I'm getting there day by day, putting my flesh into subjection.
Thanks for reading, and I look forward to having some meaningful Christian fellowship with you guys.
