Hello CLE Forum Members

[theAXEisLAID]

My name is David, some call me Dave either is fine by me.  I figured I would stop being lazy and write a bit about myself in order to join in.  I have been reading, watching, listening and learning from the sidelines for some time now.  I hope to be clear and concise in my writing and that is not one of my strong points.  By joining, I also hope others may benefit from my words as I have received edification and comfort from all of you through your conversations with each other.

1 THESSALONIANS 5:11
Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another even as also ye do.

As a man who lived a life full of debauchery for over 30 years, it is hard for me to even begin to summarize my misdeeds.  I started very young with pornography and at the age of nine I can remember stealing two pornographic magazines from a book store.  This kind of sinful behavior just snowballed into fornication and adultery throughout my life.  At twelve, I started drinking and consuming drugs.  I would party hard and make outrageous spectacles for attention.  In turn I would grow up into a wantonness and brutish man.  In my foolish pride I often made fun of others and I find I still struggle with inappropriate jesting.

My mother left my father when I was six years old.  This devastated my dad who pretty much left me to my own devices.  He raised me catholic and I went through the confirmation process but I knew early on that God was not there. 

I remember cracking open a KJV bible when I was sixteen after a night of experimenting with psychedelic drugs.  I had lots of questions about God around this time but continued in my hedonistic lifestyle.  I would go on to drop out of college after one year and eventually I was converted

[theAXEisLAID]

I realize I did not add my last name when I registered but what is worse is I spent about a week writing this post. I do not like to put anything on the internet hastily but I hastily deleted the word document I copied it from.

Lesson learned.

Please give me some time as I will rewrite my introduction.

[theAXEisLAID]

My name is David, some call me Dave either is fine by me.  I figured I would stop being lazy and write a bit about myself in order to join in.  I have been reading, watching, listening and learning from the sidelines for some time now.  I hope to be clear and concise in my writing and that is not one of my strong points.  By joining, I also hope others may benefit from my words as I have received edification and comfort from all of you through your conversations with each other.
 
1 THESSALONIANS 5:11
Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another even as also ye do.

As a man who lived a life full of debauchery for over 30 years, it is hard for me to even begin to summarize my misdeeds.  I started very young with pornography and at the age of nine I can remember stealing two pornographic magazines from a book store.  This kind of sinful behavior just snowballed into fornication and adultery throughout my life.  At 12, I started drinking and consuming drugs.  I would party hard and make outrageous spectacles for attention.  In turn I would grow up into a wantonness and brutish man.  In my foolish pride I often made fun of others and at times I still struggle with inappropriate jesting.
 
My mother left my father when I was six years old.  This devastated my dad who pretty much left me to my own devices.  He raised me catholic and I went through the confirmation process but I knew early on that God was not there.  I remember cracking open a KJV bible when I was sixteen after a night of experimenting with psychedelic drugs.  I had lots of questions about God around this time but continued in my hedonistic lifestyle.  I would go on to drop out of college after one year and eventually I was converted, falsely converted.
 
Around this time, a friend of mine who lived a hard life was sheltered by a local word of faith prosperity pastor and eventually I too was deceived into the false fold and this way of thinking.  One night, I was driving my car with my friend who was now a tongue talker, the car started to run out of gas and as the car was sputtering he began to mumble in his new so called prayer language.  Amazingly the car would continue to run as if it had fuel but when he stopped his mumbling nonsense the car would sputter, and again he would start his mumbling and the car would again accelerate.  To my astonishment we made it to our destination.  I started to attend this new church building regularly and one night I picked up a few extremely poor kids who were hitchhiking that way because the church building helped feed and clothe those in need.  That night, as one of the kids was being baptized with fire, I joined in.  A rushing wind that I could visibly see circled the room and I was convinced this was of God.

MATTHEW 16:4
A wicked and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign

I was always better at working with my hands than with my head. I was athletic enough thorough my life that I fared well at jobs of labor and at twenty-one I transitioned into the military as a soldier.  As a soldier many times physical performance was equated with intelligence so I was able to keep my superiors happy.  Let me go back and say before I left my hometown, the pastor of the church building I attended approved of drinking and smoking weed and just about every other sin under the sun but only when the congregation was not present of course.  I went right along and at this point in my life I think I am saved and I can continue to be a manipulative sinful man and go to heaven.  Let make myself clear, I am not blaming this pastor for my evil ways, they were of my own invention.
 
2 Timothy 3:13
But evil men and imposters will grow worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived.

One night I heard from what I thought was the Lord telling me (false converts like to pretend everything they do, everything they think, and everything they imagine is of God) I was going home over vacation and meeting my wife.  This did happen and over twenty years later I am still married and have a handful of children but only by the grace of God.
 
I could go on and on about the sin in my life over these years but I hope you get the point.  I was a riotous drunk, a lying and covetous fornicator, and a fool, full of unrighteousness and void of any understanding.  I had some close calls with death over these years but the Lord was loving and longsuffering and merciful to me and allowed me to live when I deserved to die.  The difference is now I will someday leave this earth with hope in His mercy that no man can take away.
 
Moving around so much over the years I attended many different church buildings. I was full of sin yet foolishly claimed to be a Christian, using the name of the Lord in vain.  I was always skeptical of allowing a pastor man to preside over me and my family and I would leave a church building rather quickly if I felt they were in error.  Sometimes I would find a church building and I would attend for a few years and over these times I have heard some pretty outlandish claims by these fable tellers.  I see now that they were in error but so was I.  I worked hard to procure income and my aches and pains now have aches and pains.  I always tried to pay my tithe faithfully because I was good at obeying man but not obeying God.

About two years ago, I was three or four months from leaving the military and all I could think about was getting out and smoking weed.  This was literally my plan, I mean after all, a proud man like me with the aches and pains I have deserved it.  I happen to be passing some time by randomly watching some youtube videos and started watching about near death experiences and came across this ridiculous ministry called 2028 end.  I became intrigued with this ministry and started to follow it.  What can I say other than I am a stupid man but at least I do not have to pretend anymore.  Part of this ministry stresses the 10 Commandments, mostly in error.  I began to really meditate on the 10 Commandments, enthusiastically desiring to gain the approval of God.
 
PSALM 19:7
The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure making wise the simple

During this time, I was driving long distance from my last place of duty nearly every week to see my family. I would read and listen to the bible, mostly corrupt versions, and from time to time I would stop and talk to people about how you must follow the 10 Commandments in order for God to accept you. The good news coming from all of this was that I realized or rather God allowed me to realize that I was worthy of hell and I was leading my family there.  I was a terrible husband and father, full of pride who demanded my children told the truth, yet I was a liar.  I demanded that I was respected yet I did not respect the only One worthy of all of creations respect.  I came home after the drive one night and fell to the floor.  I cried my eyes out knowing at that moment that I did not deserve to have the Lords pardon and I had wronged him continually throughout my life.  I have cried before for my wrongdoings but not like this.  This cry of repentance changed everything.  I used to sin as if God was not watching, I would beat myself up for it for a little while and then repeat the same thing over and over.  After I repented unto God I now know what it is to fear Him, and it is wonderful.  The law of the Lord showed me the ignorance and arrogance of my prideful heart and the gift of repentance brought me to the ground in tears.  That repentance produced a desire to stop my sinful ways that I was never able to control by myself.

Do not get me wrong I am not saying that I am free from sin now and after repenting I was still mixed up with false doctrine.  I was still a respecter of persons when my wife began to show me the error in the teachings I was following.  I did not want to believe it but I relented and she showed me to the repentance teaching on CLE.
To Christopher J, I would like to say thank you for your labor in the Lord.  I praise the Lord Jesus for your service to the body of Christ.  I am much better off because of your teachings on the word of God.  As I continue to grow in my understanding, I am so thankful for a foundation built on repentance.  I had to dump the garbage I once believed but it really was not that difficult because the Lord opened my eyes and ears to see and hear His truth.

Matthew 13:15
For the hearts of this people have grown dull. Their ears are hard of hearing, and their eyes they have closed, lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, lest they should understand with their hearts and turn, so I should heal them.

As many of you can relate, my current struggles come mostly from within my own family.

Luke 11:51 Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you Nay; but rather division

Sometimes the words I think in my head and the way I array them in print covey different messages, so I will wrap this up with one more thing.
Repentance and faith in Jesus Christ are absolutely non-negotiable for the born again Christian.

[creationliberty]

That night, as one of the kids was being baptized with fire,

They dipped children in fire?

Repentance and faith in Jesus Christ are absolutely non-negotiable for the born again Christian.

Agreed.

I don't really have anything else to say because I enjoyed reading that, and was in tears while reading it because I understood your message very intimately.

[theAXEisLAID]

That night, as one of the kids was being baptized with fire,

They dipped children in fire?

Funny, wonder if that thought crossed any when they heard John the Baptist speaking of The Mightier One who would come after him?
 
I wrestled writing that phrase knowing it sounds ridiculous but thought it appropriate to narrate the experience as it is a pentacoastal charismatic catch phrase often used in that circle.  I could have replaced it with any Bill Johnson approved slogans like baptism of the holy ghost or spirit, receiving power from on high, finding your heavenly prayer language, or simply filled with the spirit with the evidence of speaking in new tongues.  Many in that circle believe that you can be saved with a simple parroted sinners prayer but when you have been coerced to be a gibberish tongue talker now you have power and now you are in the club.  Too bad they just do not call it for what it is, a demonstration of demons.

[anvilhauler]

That night, as one of the kids was being baptized with fire,

They dipped children in fire?

Funny, wonder if that thought crossed any when they heard John the Baptist speaking of The Mightier One who would come after him?

Matthew 3 Authorized (King James) Version (AKJV)
11 I indeed baptize you with water unto repentance: but he that cometh after me is mightier than I, whose shoes I am not worthy to bear: he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost, and with fire: 12 whose fan is in his hand, and he will throughly purge his floor, and gather his wheat into the garner; but he will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire.

I figured it was worth posting the Biblical reference as it might make for an interesting discussion.

[creationliberty]

It's interesting that they interpret Mat 3:11 in a positive sense, when I am certain that was meant in the negative sense, since the subsequent verses prove that context. The fire of the Holy Spirit is the fire of judgment that is coming.

[theAXEisLAID]

I don't think it is necessarily just the verse from MAT 3:11 where they get this interpretation because of what you pointed out is clear.
Likely Acts 2:3-4 is the main source.
And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as a fire, and it sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the spirit gave them utterance.

Although coupling the verses together, use a few new age versions and wallow away in a pool of confusion.  I think I have heard that fire of judgment misinterpreted and used in a positive way to justify the claim of speaking in tongues. 

I am ashamed I took part in such garbage.  The teaching on the satanic gibberish helped me look in depth at this and see it for what it is.  I either read or listened to it here on CLE, something along the lines of why this is so dangerous is because they are calling the things of the devil the things of God.

Isaiah 5:20 KJV
Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!

[Ellie]

Hi David,

I enjoyed reading your testimony. I can relate to several different parts of it, actually. I can understand some of your experiences in charismatic churches because I, too, was part of groups for a brief time that spoke in "tongues" and always sought after signs. Praise God that we got out of that.

That night, as one of the kids was being baptized with fire,

They dipped children in fire?

Funny, wonder if that thought crossed any when they heard John the Baptist speaking of The Mightier One who would come after him?
 
I wrestled writing that phrase knowing it sounds ridiculous but thought it appropriate to narrate the experience as it is a pentacoastal charismatic catch phrase often used in that circle.  I could have replaced it with any Bill Johnson approved slogans like baptism of the holy ghost or spirit, receiving power from on high, finding your heavenly prayer language, or simply filled with the spirit with the evidence of speaking in new tongues.  Many in that circle believe that you can be saved with a simple parroted sinners prayer but when you have been coerced to be a gibberish tongue talker now you have power and now you are in the club.  Too bad they just do not call it for what it is, a demonstration of demons.

I don't think it is necessarily just the verse from MAT 3:11 where they get this interpretation because of what you pointed out is clear.
Likely Acts 2:3-4 is the main source.
And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as a fire, and it sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the spirit gave them utterance.

Although coupling the verses together, use a few new age versions and wallow away in a pool of confusion.  I think I have heard that fire of judgment misinterpreted and used in a positive way to justify the claim of speaking in tongues. 

I am ashamed I took part in such garbage.  The teaching on the satanic gibberish helped me look in depth at this and see it for what it is.  I either read or listened to it here on CLE, something along the lines of why this is so dangerous is because they are calling the things of the devil the things of God.

Isaiah 5:20 KJV
Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!

When I was in charismatic groups I remember people praying over others in order to receive a "baptism of fire." I am also ashamed to have been part of this. I knew exactly what you were talking about when you mentioned that. They said that the initial baptism of the Holy Spirit came when you were "converted" (no humility of repentance; and belief in ecumenical, false christ) and that the baptism of fire was when you received more power. Usually involves tongues but there was an event I attended where a woman claimed to have the gift of fire and she blew on people or touched them and they would fall down, sometimes start convulsing/twitching, or start acting drunk. It was so demonic and disturbing.

Welcome to the forum. Again, I really enjoyed reading your post. I haven't been here too long but it's good to see that you have benefitted from the ministry and the forum. I hope that it continues to benefit you and that you enjoy talking to other believers here.

[theAXEisLAID]

Hi David,

I enjoyed reading your testimony. I can relate to several different parts of it, actually. I can understand some of your experiences in charismatic churches because I, too, was part of groups for a brief time that spoke in "tongues" and always sought after signs. Praise God that we got out of that.

When I was in charismatic groups I remember people praying over others in order to receive a "baptism of fire." I am also ashamed to have been part of this. I knew exactly what you were talking about when you mentioned that. They said that the initial baptism of the Holy Spirit came when you were "converted" (no humility of repentance; and belief in ecumenical, false christ) and that the baptism of fire was when you received more power. Usually involves tongues but there was an event I attended where a woman claimed to have the gift of fire and she blew on people or touched them and they would fall down, sometimes start convulsing/twitching, or start acting drunk. It was so demonic and disturbing.

Welcome to the forum. Again, I really enjoyed reading your post. I haven't been here too long but it's good to see that you have benefitted from the ministry and the forum. I hope that it continues to benefit you and that you enjoy talking to other believers here.

Hi Elissa, I look back at my time in that charismatic nonsense and say to myself, "I was such an idiot." That I was in such an obvious deception for so long really points out one big thing to me - living in presumptuous sin makes one stupid.

Psalm 19:13 Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; Let them not have dominion over me:

Praise be to God that you are so young and see so clearly. I really hope my daughters have the understanding you have someday.  I registered for this forum because I have limited fellowship with Christians and I tell you your simple hello brought me benefit. Thank You.

[MeganIA]

Hi David, I enjoyed reading your testimony! There was much that I related to.

[mrs.creationliberty]

Hi David,
I really enjoyed reading your testimony. It's wonderful to meet you- it's really neat that you've been following the forum for years and are now joining!

[Cottage Camper]

Hi David,
I enjoyed reading your testimony. Thank you for your persistence to bring it all together! Praise God he led you to truth thru the maze of deception.!

[Jeanne]

Hi Dave! Sorry I'm so late in replying; I have enjoyed reading your posts and the responses here. Welcome to the forum; I look forward to hearing more from you and getting to know you better.

[Ellie]

Hi Elissa, I look back at my time in that charismatic nonsense and say to myself, "I was such an idiot." That I was in such an obvious deception for so long really points out one big thing to me - living in presumptuous sin makes one stupid.

Psalm 19:13 Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; Let them not have dominion over me:

Praise be to God that you are so young and see so clearly. I really hope my daughters have the understanding you have someday.  I registered for this forum because I have limited fellowship with Christians and I tell you your simple hello brought me benefit. Thank You.

Yeah, that's how I think of myself when I recall the things I was part of. I just feel so stupid for being deceived by it especially when telling others what I did. I can't say much more other than the fact that I was blinded and I hated the light until God saved me.

And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.
But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God. (John 3:19-21)

I also praise God that I came out of this so young. I don't deserve it in the slightest, and I have to remind myself to pray for humility because none of my understanding has come from myself.

I hope that your daughters will be brought to understanding by the Lord, too. How old are they now?

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

[Laura]

Hello and welcome, David. Praise the Lord for bringing you out of deception! I found your comments on baptism with fire interesting, as I have never heard of that before. These statements stuck out to me:

As I continue to grow in my understanding, I am so thankful for a foundation built on repentance.  I had to dump the garbage I once believed but it really was not that difficult because the Lord opened my eyes and ears to see and hear His truth.

As many of you can relate, my current struggles come mostly from within my own family.

Once the Holy Spirit reveals the truth to us, we no longer feel the same towards our traditions, rather it is our flesh and the flesh of others that we continue to war against. Matthew 37 comes to mind and I have a feeling most of us on the forum can relate.

Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me.
Matthew 37:34-40

[theAXEisLAID]

Hello Megan, Lorraine, Barb, and Jeanne - I appreciate the welcome and look forward to future fellowship with you all.

[theAXEisLAID]

Hi Elissa, I look back at my time in that charismatic nonsense and say to myself, "I was such an idiot." That I was in such an obvious deception for so long really points out one big thing to me - living in presumptuous sin makes one stupid.

Psalm 19:13 Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; Let them not have dominion over me:

Praise be to God that you are so young and see so clearly. I really hope my daughters have the understanding you have someday.  I registered for this forum because I have limited fellowship with Christians and I tell you your simple hello brought me benefit. Thank You.

Yeah, that's how I think of myself when I recall the things I was part of. I just feel so stupid for being deceived by it especially when telling others what I did. I can't say much more other than the fact that I was blinded and I hated the light until God saved me.

And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.
But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God. (John 3:19-21)

I also praise God that I came out of this so young. I don't deserve it in the slightest, and I have to remind myself to pray for humility because none of my understanding has come from myself.

I hope that your daughters will be brought to understanding by the Lord, too. How old are they now?

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

The good I can see in this is that I was a very proud man and still war with pride. Knowing where I came from and what I came out of gives me perspective as I too hated the light and definitely helps knock that arrogant pride down where it belongs. I am blessed to have two daughters who are eleven and eight.

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

[theAXEisLAID]

As many of you can relate, my current struggles come mostly from within my own family.

Once the Holy Spirit reveals the truth to us, we no longer feel the same towards our traditions, rather it is our flesh and the flesh of others that we continue to war against. Matthew 37 comes to mind and I have a feeling most of us on the forum can relate.

Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me.
Matthew 37:34-40

Hello Laura,  God said it would be this way and it is painful but it helps to remember that someday He will wipe away all his children's tears.

Revelation 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things are passed away.

My dad is moments away from passing from this life to the next.  I sat with him tonight, he has been so physically humbled.  He drifts in and out but thankfully he still had enough strength for me to speak with him.  I pray that he would cry out to the Lord before he goes.  I am convinced now more than ever he knows he must do this should he hope to have eternal life.

[Cottage Camper]

David,
Just reading your post. Know that you & your dad are being prayed for.