My name is Jackie

[Jackie]

Hey, you guys! My name is Jackie. I live in Massachusetts, USA (one of the most godless states in the country. I even read somewhere that the Northeast in general is statistically considered an unreached people group in terms of the gospel).

I grew up going to church all my life. I'd say that my belief in Jesus Christ and what He did came about when I was 6 years old. I was at a Vacation Bible School and a Bible teacher had been speaking about the reality of hell. He taught there was nothing we could do to escape hell and live in heaven with Jesus, save believing that Jesus died on the cross for your sins. I was taught that I was a sinner and I needed to believe His death on the cross washes away my sins. I honestly hesitate to say affirmatively that I was genuinely saved then. I said the "sinner's prayer", and it is possible that I was sorry for my sins, but I was 6. So I do not remember for certain if that is what happened then. I remember mostly feeling like I was afraid to go to hell and I wanted to escape that. I know that I at least understood that I needed to recognize that I was a sinner to receive salvation.

When I was about 14, I went to snow camp at Word of Life Bible Institute. There, I was scared to death of Jesus returning and being left behind. Yes I mean in the dispensational fashion. I grew up in an Independent Baptist Church, so I credit that for some of my misconceptions about things. I no longer believe in pre-tribulation but the point is that I was scared that I wasn't really saved.  At the same time, I was feeling convicted about some sins. I believe that the Holy Spirit was bringing to my attention that, hey, I wasn't living my life like I was a Christian.  And if I had no real conviction or conversion, maybe I really wasn't one. I at least had to be honest with myself that I didn't care about the things of God like I should. I felt incredibly guilty and cried and had sorrow for what I had done. I felt sorrow that I had been grieving God with my sins against Him. I felt worthless, like God should never have called me because I cannot even keep the smallest of His precepts. To this day, I feel that way sometimes.

I can't honestly admit that I was totally changed even after that experience. I still had quite long stretches of time in which I wouldn't even do something as simple as read my Bible. I do not know if that is a sign I wasn't saved truly. I can honestly say I always felt convicted, and sorrow, of and for neglecting even the simplest commandments though. Even now, I must admit that I mess up (both in simple mistakes and in out right sin) often. I hate that I do and I yearn for the day when I will be made perfect and not sin anymore.


I found CLE a few days ago. This will sound bad but I honestly can't remember what on earth I'd been looking for. I just know that I had been looking for something theological and CLE came up. I started reading many of the articles and the article on repentance has really gotten to me. It's challenged me to make sure that I have had godly sorrow for my sins. There's other articles I've read, some I agree with, some I don't. I really hope I will not be ostracized in this community because I don't agree with all the teachings here (the ones that don't have anything directly to do with salvation). I am open and willing to learn and to even change my opinion at the leading of the Holy Spirit.


I have since left my Independent Baptist Church due to a whole lot of sin issues going on within the leadership. That's a story for another time. Since then I've been in search of a local church. I know that going to a church building and being a member of one is not necessarily a biblical commandment, but I think it could still be beneficial for my growth (provided I find a doctrinally sound one).

[Jeanne]

Hi Jackie,

Welcome to another group of people who haven't gotten it all together or have figured it all out! We're all just learning as we go.

Most of us here have given up on 'gong to church' as finding one that teaches sound doctrine seems almost impossible. I'm not saying they don't exists but trying to find one is like searching for pearls in a pile of clams. With the exception of a very few, we consider CLE our church and keep in touch here on the forum or on Skype.

I can relate to not reading my Bible as much as I should. Have you ever gone to the audio section of the website? The teachings on YouTube are only the second half of the teachings Chris does every Sunday. In the first half, he has been going through the entire Bible. The recordings start in Psalm, though because he didn't record the earlier teachings he did. We just finished with Acts this past Sunday and there won't be a teaching this coming Sunday as Chris has been working on a number of other things.

If you have trouble finding tine to read the Bible, there's an app called Bible.is that will read it to you. That might be one option for you as you can listen as you're doing other things. It's no substitute for studying on your own, but it's better than nothing.

Anyway, I hope you can find a home here and feel comfortable coming to us with your questions and concerns. You may not always like the answers you get, but that doesn't mean they're wrong. I've often heard thing I didn't like and that made me angry, but I eventually saw that what was said was right.

Looking forward to getting to know you better!

Jeanne

[TheChickenWhisperer]

Welcome Jackie!

I hope you will continue to read the teachings asking the Holy Spirit to convict you where you need it.  I, too, came to true repentance through this ministry and no longer attend a church building.  It has cost me a lot since then, but I don't regret it. I hope you will also find what you need here.

[strangersmind]

Hello Jackie

I to left the church building. It was the best decision I made in a long time. I learned more in 1 year just by reading and studying the bible on my own then 20 in the church building. I hope you keep growing and coming to the knowledge of God's word.

[Dee Babbitt]

Hi Jackie,

Thank you for sharing your testimony.  My son and I, have also left the church buildings.  This is home, now.  We spend our Sundays listening to the Bible studies, from the comfort of our home, and connecting with the group on Skype and the forum, as Jeanne said.  :-)

It's so wonderful the Lord has brought you here!
Welcome to the group :-)

[anvilhauler]

Hi Jackie

Welcome from me too.  I hope you find our gathering here to be a great place to learn a whole lot and also a place to be surrounded by loving and caring friends.

[Jackie]

Thank you guys so far for the warm welcome. I do look forward to learning from this church and making new friends. I still long to find a brick and mortar church (that's doctrinally sound) near me, if it is possible, though. Would be nice to meet new people that are believers that are local to me, you know?

I can relate to not reading my Bible as much as I should. Have you ever gone to the audio section of the website? The teachings on YouTube are only the second half of the teachings Chris does every Sunday. In the first half, he has been going through the entire Bible. The recordings start in Psalm, though because he didn't record the earlier teachings he did. We just finished with Acts this past Sunday and there won't be a teaching this coming Sunday as Chris has been working on a number of other things.

Thanks, Jeanne, for pointing me to those teaching. I look forward to listening and learning from them. Also thanks for the suggestion about listening to the Bible on audio. I used to do that all the time in college when I had to read Scripture for my Bible classes. Thanks for the reminder!

[Jeanne]

Jackie, I know it can be lonely being a true Bible-believing Christian in the midst of so many false converts. We crave human fellowship but fellowship with false converts is really detrimental to our faith.

I can guarantee that almost any 'church' that has a building is 501(c)(3) incorporated and therefore, their highest authority is the federal government, not the Lord Jesus Christ. They'd never be able to afford those fancy buildings without the 'tithes' they collect from the sheep.

http://www.creationliberty.com/articles/501c3.php
.
http://www.creationliberty.com/articles/tithe.php

Jesus never promised that following Him would be easy. A lot of us get lonely, too, which is why several of us get together on Skype at times during the week, other than for Bible study. We all have each other's contact information so we can talk to each other whenever we want.

[Jackie]

I can guarantee that almost any 'church' that has a building is 501(c)(3) incorporated and therefore, their highest authority is the federal government, not the Lord Jesus Christ. They'd never be able to afford those fancy buildings without the 'tithes' they collect from the sheep.

This is truth for the most part, yes, that in the case of many church buildings, they care more about the money and prestige and pleasing people over anything else. I still am optimistic about finding one in my area, though. I think that because where I live is rather anti-Christianity in general (it's mostly Catholic over here), that kind of weeds out the false ones, if that makes any sense? I'm still hopeful.

[Jeanne]

Why are you so determined to try to find a church building? That really baffles me, when you know what they are like. Your best bet might be to try to find some like-minded believers and start a home church with them.

[Jackie]

Well, I don't believe that they are all like that, simply. I have not tried out enough of the churches in my area to determine if that is the case here. So I think it's fair to give them a shot for the moment. I believe the Holy Spirit will guide me in discernment.
Truthfully, starting a home church with like minded believers might be a good course of action, but at the moment I do not believe I have anyone else that would be willing to do so. I wouldn't even know how to start one anyhow (wouldn't mind pointers though). So while I'm open to the idea, I don't see that in my future for now.

[creationliberty]

Why are you so determined to try to find a church building? That really baffles me, when you know what they are like. Your best bet might be to try to find some like-minded believers and start a home church with them.

What is wrong with her trying? Just because most of them are doesn't mean she can't look. Just because you haven't found one doesn't mean she won't.

The reason I talk about most of them being corrupt, and that most Christians won't have a high chance of finding a building, is because I want my brethren to go into their search with their eyes wide open, not that I want to discourage them from looking at all.

[Kenneth Winslow]

Welcome to the forum Jackie.

I even read somewhere that the Northeast in general is statistically considered an unreached people group in terms of the gospel).

I too am from the northeast. Western New York to be more precise.
I never heard the gospel during the 18 years that I lived there, that I remember.
I'm glad that you are looking for a group of believers to meet with in your area, but please don't compromise.
The word of the Lord should be used as a sword to divide good from evil, right from wrong. Use it.  Any group that you are considering fellowshipping with you should confront them with solid Biblical doctrine. If they reject it or can't handle it then that may be an indication that you should depart.
Luke 12:51 KJV  Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division:

[Dee Babbitt]

Hi Jackie,

it's understandable...and something we all desire, a place to gather together with true, Bible-believing Christians. 
Since we are saved, we hear God's voice and desire what He wants for us to do.
Hebrews 10:25  Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

And that is what we do here... we do assemble together.  It's a bit different than how we're accustomed to assembling--but it truly is wonderful.
It took only a short time, to get used to being on the skype / not attending a building... and we are SO HAPPY now... to have found this church here,
a group of true born-again Christians, that are like minded, and truly love God and one another.
Philippians 2:2   Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.


Yes, I agree with you, the Holy Spirit will guide you with discernment as you search.
Keep us posted on your findings; we'd love to hear about it.

And if in your searching, you do not find what you are hoping for...
do not become too discouraged, because you DO have a place here, with us :-)

And we are happy having you here :-)

[Jackie]

Welcome to the forum Jackie.


I too am from the northeast. Western New York to be more precise.
I never heard the gospel during the 18 years that I lived there, that I remember.
I'm glad that you are looking for a group of believers to meet with in your area, but please don't compromise.
The word of the Lord should be used as a sword to divide good from evil, right from wrong. Use it.  Any group that you are considering fellowshipping with you should confront them with solid Biblical doctrine. If they reject it or can't handle it then that may be an indication that you should depart.
Luke 12:51 KJV  Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division:

Hi there! Nice to meet someone from the Northeast. The only place I've been to in Western NY is Buffalo (don't know if that even counts haha). Niagra Falls is gorgeous, and I love seeing God's creation there.

Thanks for the reminder that Jesus came to divide. I agree. And I do plan to confront when I can. I mean, obviously if I enter a church and I find out quickly that they're teaching all these false teachings, I probably wouldn't confront in that situation. Not in a situation where I don't know anyone and they don't know me haha.

And that is what we do here... we do assemble together.  It's a bit different than how we're accustomed to assembling--but it truly is wonderful.
It took only a short time, to get used to being on the skype / not attending a building... and we are SO HAPPY now... to have found this church here,
a group of true born-again Christians, that are like minded, and truly love God and one another.
Philippians 2:2   Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.


Yes, I agree with you, the Holy Spirit will guide you with discernment as you search.
Keep us posted on your findings; we'd love to hear about it.

And if in your searching, you do not find what you are hoping for...
do not become too discouraged, because you DO have a place here, with us :-)

And we are happy having you here :-)

Thank you, Dee, for your kind words. I will of course utilize this forum and website for church, too. And probably will even continue to do so even if I do find a church building that is doctrinally sound. You guys seem so nice and genuine.

[Jeanne]

I'm sorry I came across being so negative about you looking for a church to attend, but every single one I have ever experienced has been very leavened. I pray you have the discernment to know when false doctrine is being taught, because some of it can be very subtle and I don't know that I would even trust myself to pick up on some of it. The teachings Chris has done have been very helpful in that respect, especially the Wolves in Costume series.

I, too, hope you can find what you're looking for but I join Dee in saying don't be too disappointed if you don't; you can always come here.

[anvilhauler]

I'm sorry I came across being so negative about you looking for a church to attend, but every single one I have ever experienced has been very leavened. I pray you have the discernment to know when false doctrine is being taught, because some of it can be very subtle and I don't know that I would even trust myself to pick up on some of it. The teachings Chris has done have been very helpful in that respect, especially the Wolves in Costume series.

I, too, hope you can find what you're looking for but I join Dee in saying don't be too disappointed if you don't; you can always come here.

In the typical "churches" there is no open forum and so the Word of God never gets discussed (at least it never did in any of the "churches" I had ever been a part of) and so if there is false doctrine it just gets shrugged off if it is pointed out as being a trouble maker person's opinion.  The good thing here is that much of the discussion is via the written word and everyone is allowed and encouraged to participate. 

There is a good measure of accountability here too, as when posting information the sources must be given so that others can evaluate the material.  A wolf trying to mingle in at CLE here would find a very tough time of it.

I'm not fully sure but I think Raymond might have left the forum Jackie.

[Jeanne]

It's a bit early to tell, but the last time Raymond logged in was on the 6th of August. If he did leave, I'm pretty sure it would have had more to do with the argument on free will rather than the thread about his confession.

It would not surprise me if he really was gone, however. When people are confronted with facts they can't find arguments against, they tend to disappear.

[creationliberty]

Folks... I mean... please consider someone else's situation for a moment? As far as I remember, Raymond is a nursing student and he's in the middle of classes; it's the middle of the week. He doesn't have a lot of time to come on here and write about the things he's been debating with us. Maybe give him a few days before jumping to conclusions?

[anvilhauler]

Folks... I mean... please consider someone else's situation for a moment? As far as I remember, Raymond is a nursing student and he's in the middle of classes; it's the middle of the week. He doesn't have a lot of time to come on here and write about the things he's been debating with us. Maybe give him a few days before jumping to conclusions?

I was careful to not write in a manner that Raymond would find offensive and if it were me I don't think I would find Jeanne's posting offensive either.  I hope Raymond does come back.